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| Do not cross Large LaVerne, or trusty sidekick Chris Hedger |
Not only did Large LaVerne steal Gavin's sign, she sent an email to roughly half of Deer Park admitting her theft (email recipients redacted).
LaVerne often goes by Verne. She might as well trim some of her first name since she can't trim any of her extensive waistline. We do feel bad that Big Verne's wine supply ran dry. It's not something she handles well when it's time to celebrate the important things in life, like removing a Gavin campaign sign. But we can exclusively report that she and Chris Heffer were able to settle for sharing another box of Twinkies.
These people are representing Deer Park proudly. Accordingly, we enthusiastically endorse the re-election of Dave Collins for Deer Park Mayor. We especially want Verne Collins to remain as their First Lady and Holy Guardian of the City Ballot.
We want Deer Park to stay the same. We don't want it to get better. We don't want it to change at all. We don't want any new ideas or new blood like Shawn Gavin to get in the way of the Old Guard because the city is doing so darn well. You can't ask for any finer folk or better managers than our allies Dave and Verne Collins.
15 comments:
That fine Republican Chris Hedger has joined with David Pepper, Todd Portune, Mark Mallory, Ted Strickland, Laure Quinliven, Chrissy Seelbach, Denise Driehaus, and Connie Pillach to oppose the Republican Governor and Legislature's reforms of the bloated public sector unions. Way to go Big Chris! When we needed Republicans to step up to the plate for higher taxes and increased spending you were right where we needed you!
I take offense to this post. Sure, my wife's a thief, and generally a nasty, mean person, but this goes too far. I guess what I'm saying is, everything you say in this post is true, but do you have to put it in print? I'm trying to win an election here. If you have a problem, you know where to find me - at any local Deer Park establishment that serves alcohol.
We thought we had sent a message to those crazed anti-taxers when we squashed that Jason Gloyd like a bug.
Listen here, I'm not happy about having to take time away from my taxpayer funded job, not the taxpayer job I did have, or the taxpayer funded council position I resigned (don't worry I'm running to get that back), to defend my girl Verne. Don't you understand that she has faithfully led Deer Park for years and doesn't like it when someone chalenges her David. I know Dave didn't really want to run again and she made him because no one else on council could stay sober enough to beat that nasty Gavin, but she's doing it for the right reason. Can you imagine if Gavin becomes mayor and council meetings were to last longer than 7 minutes? seriously, they don't pay me enough to be there longer than that. Mike Behrens is a retired cop and he does a great job running the city, so really we aren't even needed. Please don't tell people that though, then they might not want to pay me. Mike does such a good job that we pay him more than the governor of Indiana and give him a car and stuff, we're pretty big time here.
Anyway, what I really wanted to say was leave Verne alone because you wouldn't want to see her when she gets angry.
id go steel me sum Gavin sins, eccept i cant reed. mi riting sucks to.
Sorry for the delay, I would have commented on this before but I saw that picture you put up there and boy did it make me hungry. Anyways, I'm back now and just want to say yes, I took that sign and would do it again and there is nothing you little people can do about it so stick that where the sun don't shine.
I hate Shawn Gavin. He's NEW! He has NEW ideas and I hate anything new. Now I have to leave so I can buy some box wine for Large LaVerne.
Which is funnier:
A) That Large LaVerne sends an email admitting to stealing Gavin's campaign sign; or
B) She admits to drinking box wine
Just another day in Deertucky Park.
Trust me, that isn't the only dry box in my house.
C'mon! I expected better, more civilized behavior from my friends in Deer Park. You guys are behaving like a bunch of smelly, inbred west siders.
What a bunch of immature jerks.
This blog and the rag that you all call news, The Whistleblower, are an nothing more than a way for middle aged, ugly fat guys to sit at home in their underwear and write things about people without fear of retribution. All I know is the two aforementioned pieces of crap are run by COAST, or are at least very closely related to COAST, and many people will really have to think twice about anything COAST is behind. If you think you and COAST speak for the majority of Republicans, you have another thing coming. Grow up!
Christine Hedger, don't talk about your husband like that. Don't you have another property tax increase to endorse?
Don't talk bout mi wife like that. She collecs 2 guberment chex. That why she sided with Ted Strickland and the Ohio Democrat Party against Ishue 2. She say Gubernor Kasick and SB5 r very bad.
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