Monday, April 27, 2015

Cooking Councilman Seelbach's dinner

Dear fellow tax hikers, boy oh boy do we have a challenge for you!  Cincinnati City Councilman Chris Seelbach - a City Councilman on Cincinnati City Council, in case you didn't know - is hosting a dinner party and he needs our help to prepare an acceptable meal.  Here are the restrictions:

 
 It gets even better:
 
 
No meat, no fish, no dairy, no carbs, no alcohol, no beans, no sugar, no quinoa, and even tofu is no-fu.  Now we love City Councilman Chris Seelbach - we love his tax hikes, his streetcar, his gay and incest marriage advocacy, his preferences to labor unions, his car....we love the guy.  But even we can't go along with this.
 
What bet did these people lose to have to attend this dinner?  The only way you could get us there is if we pigged out at Chick-fil-A on the way. 
 
We will not be attending, but we would still like to help City Councilman Seelbach decide what to prepare for the dinner party.  Tell us tax hikers, what would YOU serve? 
 
We at Republicans for Higher Taxes will offer our suggestion - a pitcher of water with a can of salt.  Dinner's served!
 

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23 comments:

  1. DereKKK the night watchmanApril 27, 2015 at 11:20 AM

    Not as concerned about fixing Chris' dinner as I am thrilled to see the anti-public transportation reactionaries get their lunch eaten all the time.

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  2. Marvey HilkApril 27, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    After the streetcar fails, councilman Chrissy can serve crow and humble pie.

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  3. Phil McCrackenApril 27, 2015 at 1:46 PM

    I hear Councilman Squeelback swallows at least one "high protein" meal a day.

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  4. Dinner from hellApril 27, 2015 at 2:34 PM

    How about serving new guests?

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  5. Princess MargaretApril 27, 2015 at 6:47 PM

    This is a terrible idea but at least he isn't dining with any fat, smelly, disgusting inbred westsiders.

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  6. Ken WaltersApril 27, 2015 at 10:39 PM

    I legitimately feel sorry for someone whose collective group of friends would call that dinner party fun. That seems like a really good time to re-evaluate your life, and your friendships. What a miserable existence.

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  7. AnonymousApril 28, 2015 at 9:26 AM

    As a healthy living advocate and candidate for bariatric intervention I can identify with that which is philosophically corrupt; a dinner party with no dinner. My 50 yr old stock boy husband and I routinely push through our food allergies and disregard the notion of any food preferences in favor of pure unfettered caloric intake. In this regard we are indeed pioneers and are widely viewed as culinary Chernobyls...

    Flabitha H & Stockboy H

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  8. PG For SenateApril 28, 2015 at 11:49 AM

    These kinds of people are the future of the Democratic Party. These are the people the old guard is trying to keep out.

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  9. Colerain TaxpayerApril 28, 2015 at 12:06 PM

    Thanks to our high-spending and game-playing township trustees, we will be lucky to afford to even eat like Chris Seelbach does once we are done overpaying for our mediocre police services. The trustees need to keep the local police so that they'll own the people they need to keep quiet about their crimes, like the attempted theft of Greg Insco's rock.

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  10. Hon. Jonathan DeverApril 28, 2015 at 3:24 PM

    Are dinner parties as popular in OTR as I am in my own district? Fuck you, Rick Bryan!

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  11. Food CriticApril 28, 2015 at 4:43 PM

    Seelbach much better at cooking the books than he is at cooking a dinner.

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  12. Super Duper TrooperApril 28, 2015 at 6:43 PM

    Shouldn't Squeal Back be celebrating a bit more robustly as the Supreme Court is nearly all but certain to legalize gay marriage.

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  13. Red MeatApril 28, 2015 at 8:30 PM

    I would have served pizza, hamburgers, chicken, soda, and water, and told the guests if they don't like it they can eat elsewhere.

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  14. The Greg Insco CultApril 28, 2015 at 8:48 PM

    We should throw Greg a dinner party to show our support after those mean and vindictive trustees stole his rock.

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  15. BaltimoreApril 29, 2015 at 3:00 PM

    Would love to see this blog focus on something more substantive. Since this is a Republican blog, I can see why you want to focus on trivial minutiae at a time when Baltimore is burning as a result of Republican racism and bigotry, and while the Republican Congress continues to slash spending on jobs and economic development programs for our cities.

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  16. HotelierApril 29, 2015 at 4:09 PM

    Would they serve this kind of slop at the Seelbach Hotel in Chris' hometown of Louisville!

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  17. You're So VainApril 30, 2015 at 12:36 PM

    Insco is so vain he thinks everything in Colerain Township is all about him.

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  18. Alex T Mall Cop GOPApril 30, 2015 at 9:43 PM

    You know, the Greeks invented dinner parties.

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  19. The Blessing DynastyMay 2, 2015 at 8:01 AM

    When you come from the right family and the old man hands off his seat to you as though it were a peerage in the House of Lords, you can always guarantee you'll eat a whole lot better than the peasants gathering with Chris Seelbach.

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  20. Madam HooverMay 2, 2015 at 10:29 PM

    You sure you don't want me to bring any left over Chipotle? It's been hiding in my trunk.

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  21. Turn the pageMay 2, 2015 at 11:02 PM

    Don't you have anything better to do?

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  22. Trent Takes It In The TenneyMay 3, 2015 at 12:29 AM

    With all the hot naked women who I feature on my Facebook page as my potential escorts, I should be on the A list at any dinner party. Ignore that whilst I accuse the Republican Party of mysogenism.

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  23. The Sad CafeMay 3, 2015 at 9:24 AM

    Doesn't look like we will have many victories to celebrate on Tuesday because our local elected officials aren't trying to raise taxes very hard.

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