Sunday, December 29, 2013

Todd Portune for Governor?

Dear fellow tax hikers, we blog tonight to honor and defend one of the biggest icons in local politics - Todd Portune's mustache.  As Todd ponders whether to run for Ohio Governor, we want everyone to understand the source of his strength - Mustache Power.  It is the power that drives Southwest Ohio politics.

However, as Portune and his mustache have traveled around Ohio seeking support, he was confronted by this vicious attack:


We may sometimes allow you to attack Portune, but never Bash the Stache!  His legendary mustache must be defended at all costs.  Whether Todd runs for Governor or not, the 'stache stays where it is.

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16 comments:

  1. David The MannDecember 30, 2013 at 8:36 AM

    If my good friend Todd is running for Governor, I promise I will support him. I am,

    A Mann of My Word

    ReplyDelete
  2. PJ Sit and Spin's Annoying SmirkDecember 30, 2013 at 9:44 AM

    I can be seen and have my picture taken with both Ed FitzGerald and Todd Portune, just like I had it both ways with Roxanne Qualls and John Cranley

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ed FitzPatrickDecember 30, 2013 at 12:16 PM

    If Portune does run for Governor, do you think he'll pick a running mate who pays his taxes?

    ReplyDelete
  4. WCPOWKRCWLWTWXIXENQUIRERDecember 30, 2013 at 4:24 PM

    We stand ready to help Todd Portune's campaign against the evil Republicans in any way that we can. Just as we have done every other time he has run for any office he desires.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Councilmember SqueelbachDecember 30, 2013 at 4:56 PM

    I hope Todd isn't the victim of any right-wing, Tea Party, homophobic bigotry the way I am every single time I courageously summon the courage to speak truth to the conservative power structure. Bravo, Todd! I stand behind you ready to push as hard as I can to make sure you come out on top.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Erik KerneyDecember 30, 2013 at 6:00 PM

    Brother, can you spare a few hundred thousand? I gots to live.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Friendly Neighborhood MustacheDecember 30, 2013 at 6:00 PM

    He's in. Ed Fitzgerald better start growing that mustache!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Portune's PublicistDecember 30, 2013 at 7:21 PM

    Please don't let anyone know He grew up in Colerain Township. Describing His origins as "humble" will be helpful to His campaign but if people knew He was from that trash-infested ghetto, it would be catastrophic to His campaign.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Rusty NailDecember 30, 2013 at 9:20 PM

    I will win this race for Todd by calling for imprisonment for anyone who dares to question anything about my good friend. It worked well for my good friend Greg Insco and also my good friend Mike Moroski, didn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL at GOPDecember 30, 2013 at 11:09 PM

    Republican ineptitude got Todd his seat on the commission and Republican ineptitude is going to get Todd elected governor. Lots of Egg on the HCRP's faces.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Portune Campaign StaffersDecember 31, 2013 at 1:50 AM

    Whatever we do, let's keep that Derekkk Bauman asshole at arms length. We cant afford to get Roxanned.

    ReplyDelete
  12. EnquirerDaytonDailyNewsToledoBladePlainDealerBeaconJournalDecember 31, 2013 at 6:47 AM

    It's actually Republican extremism, especially those troglodytes in the legislature, that will get Todd Portune or Ed FitzGerald elected Governor and will allow Democrats to run the table and win every statewide office plus take back the House and Senate. If we have anything to say about it, that is.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Fact Check FredDecember 31, 2013 at 6:50 AM

    Democrat Todd Portune actually lives in the Republican "bastion" of Green Township. What say you, Rocky, Dave, Tony, Alex, Andy, Jennifer, Triffon, Bill, Tracy, George???

    ReplyDelete
  14. Alex T Mall Cop GOPDecember 31, 2013 at 7:49 AM

    What do I do? I am under increased pressure from these bothersome conservatives to shine the light on Democratic Party misdeeds but that would upset my good friend Tim Burke. I wish I had PG Sittenfeld's rhetorical skills and talents.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Virgil LovittDecember 31, 2013 at 8:19 AM

    I've endorsed Todd Portune before and the Republican Party hasn't done anything for me lately, so I might need to think about this, even though John Kasich has an admirable record of spending tax dollars and demanding to be totally unaccountable.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Craig from PricedaleJanuary 7, 2014 at 9:57 PM

    Even all drugged up on Benadryl and pucker schnapps I wouldn't vote for Todd Portune. He's nuttier than I me.

    ReplyDelete