We at Republicans for Higher Taxes have discovered the real power behind the local political scene - mustache power. Bill Seitz, our 2007 Tax Hiker of the Year, has a mustache. Virgil Lovitt, our 2008 Tax Hiker of the Year, also has a mustache. Todd Portune, the leading Democrat for higher taxes, proudly wears his mustache everywhere he goes. Rick Bryan and Jim Sumner, two leading Republican tax-and-spenders, sport a neat 'stache themselves.
And then there's Leslie Ghiz and Jean Schmidt.
This is one of the key differences between us and the COAST clowns. You don't see any of them with mustaches. Even the candidates they've supported - Steve Chabot, Chris Monzel, Pat DeWine, Robert Goering - there's not a mustache between them. It's the mustache that gives our side - the tax and spend Republicans - the advantage over those no-mustache anti-taxers! We will continue to exploit this advantage for our pro-tax purposes.
Mustache power is everywhere. You cannot fight the 'stache. Don't even try.
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2 comments:
A razor to the upper lip is like kryptonite to a tax and spend super-hero.
They have to wear mustaches because they're embarrassed to show their real faces in public. If you were Virgil Lovitt or Jean Schmidt, wouldn't you?
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