Adam Hoover sentenced - to diversion

Dear fellow tax hikers, the last time we heard about gay rights leader Adam Hoover he was making international news by getting arrested for faking his own abduction.  Adam is a respectable homosexual (are there any other kind?) so we urged the judicial system to cut him a break.  We can proudly report that Adam received his sweetheart resolution to these charges, getting sentenced to 6 months diversion. 

It basically means he has to be a good boy for 6 months.  And if he does break the law during probation they will drag him back to Court, where they will repeat their order not to break law again and force him to turn in his shirtless posters of Justin Bieber.

Even though this "sentence" was announced 3 weeks ago, we are still only the 2nd media outlet to report on it.  In particular, The Enquirer ran from this story faster than Democratic voters have been running from PG Sittenfeld.  When they thought Adam Hoover had been kidnapped, they were hotter for this story than The Hoover on a monster c*ck.

This should free Hoover to resume his important work on the Hillary Clinton for President campaign.  If there's anyone who should know their place, it's someone on the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign.  As The Hoover knows, sometimes that place is in the trunk of a car.

Adam Hoover is Ready for Hillary

Dear fellow tax hikers, we have some great news to share with you.  We escaped our kidnapper and now we're back!  Thank you for all your prayers kind thoughts to Mother Earth. 

Speaking of kidnapping victims, our fellow survivor Adam Hoover is being targeted by the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy for his support of gay marriage and Hillary Clinton.

As kidnapping survivors, we are horrified by conservative attempts to blame the victim - and in this case, "victim" could refer to either Hoover or Clinton.  We will not be silenced.  Hillary will not be silenced.  And Adam Hoover will not be silenced.  We close with his words:

We've been kidnapped! HELP US!

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are in our greatest moment of need.  Upon leaving the bar after closing time, me and one of my spouses just got KIDNAPPED by The All-Purpose Scary Black Guy.  He's stuffed us into the back of a black-and-white Cadillac.  This meanie shouted anti-gay slurs and said if we don't cooperate he'd kill us. 

This could be our very last blog entry ever.  Please call the polices and let them know of our misfortune.  We don't want to die!