Real Marriage Equality - one step closer

Dear fellow tax hikers, there is one reason and one reason only that we are excited by the recent gay marriage rulings from the U.S. Supreme Court - we are now closer than ever to Real Marriage Equality. 

This revolutionary concept is distinguished from gay marriage/marriage equality in that it is the only marriage policy that is non-discriminatory.  Real Marriage Equality means that any two adults or group of adults, related or not, have the right to enter a lawful marriage.  This not only includes straight and gay marriages between two people, but it includes bisexual marriages between three people, group marriage, polygamy, and incest marriages.

Every time a U.S. Court rules in favor of gay marriage, they lay the ground work for Real Marriage Equality.  ALL of the arguments that support judicial-mandated gay marriage also apply to this.  Once the Courts say that gay marriage is required because of equality, then all other non-traditional marriages must be allowed as well.  Equality means equality. 

Already this is being recognized.  In fact, a local conservative State Representative has just admitted it! 

Could there be any real doubt in anyone’s mind that polygamy will become a reality in this country and sooner rather than later?  If you consider the arguments in favor of so-called “gay marriage,” the identical arguments could be applied to polygamy.  

That's precisely what we have been saying!  All of the arguments that could be used against Real Marriage Equality have already been tried against gay marriage, and they have been rejected. 

We challenge any of our readers - tell us why gay marriage/marriage equality should be legal but Real Marriage Equality should not!  You can't.  Real Marriage Equality is coming.  Soon. 

$17 million more for streetcar

Dear fellow tax hikers, we have great news to share.  This week Cincinnati City Council will be approving another $17 million for our beloved Cincinnati Streetcar!  This vote will occur tomorrow and Wednesday. 

We can exclusively report that it has already passed - likely on a 6-3 vote.  We strongly endorse its passage.

The three no votes will be streetcar opponents Christopher Smitherman and Charlie Winburn, along with Presidential candidate P.G. Sittenfeld.  P.G. says he's for the streetcar when speaking to certain streetcar supporters, but he feels he can't have the streetcar on his record when he runs for County Commissioner next year and for President in 2040.

Automatic yes votes include Mallory yes-men Roxanne Qualls and Laure Quinlivan, along with the ultra-obedient Councilmen Wendell Young and Yvette Simpson.  The latter two, in particular, would not dare question the Mallory administration and will gladly cast their yes vote as ordered. 

That leaves Pamula Thomas and Chris Seelbach.  As we have already covered, Pam Thomas is voting yes.  She knows she is not allowed to make up her own mind.  That was a condition for being appointed to Council.  She has been ordered to vote yes and that is what she will do.

That leaves City Councilman Chris Seelbach, a City Councilman on Cincinnati City Council.  City Councilman Seelbach has been lobbied heavily by the downtown urban hipsters, and he knows he can't get re-elected without their 45 votes.  City Councilman Seelbach will do the same thing he usually does - pretend to show concern about the costs to appease one side, while still making sure it passes so he doesn't risk upsetting Mallory and Qualls. 

This is what City Councilman Seelbach did on the Parking Plan.  He voted Yes to make it a 6-3 vote in favor of making it Emergency legislation, which made it referendum-proof.  Then after he saw the legislation had 5 votes for passage, he voted against it on the final vote.  City Councilman Seelbach voted for it before he voted against it.  He made sure it passed and was referendum-proof. 

Expect City Councilman Seelbach to take a similar approach to the streetcar vote.  Under no circumstances will he be a vote that kills this important streetcar funding.  We applaud City Councilman Seelbach and the rest of Council for the blank check they have provided for this important streetcar.

Pamula Thomas wavers on streetcar

Dear fellow tax hikers, as we are putting together the 5 votes necessary to authorize at least another $17 million for our beloved Cincinnati Streetcar, we have been presented with the news that Councilman Pamula Thomas is undecided on this important decision.  There is no need to panic.  We own her vote and she WILL be voting for these funds. 

Councilman Thomas knows that she is not allowed to make up her own mind.  She was placed on Council with explicit instructions to blindly obey Mayor Mark Mallory and Roxanne Qualls and that's exactly what she's going to do.  Nobody is allowing her to make up her own mind.

Besides, her stated concerns are all unjustified.  For example, there is this passage from the WLWT article:

She expressed her concern again Thursday about making sure taxpayers aren't burdened by the project and questioned the long-term viability of what's planned.

This is not a burden for the taxpayers.  If money is ever short, the answer is easy - just raise taxes!

"Another concern is the ridership and the sustainability of the streetcar," Thomas said. "How is it going to sustain itself?"

We don't care about no stinkin' ridership!  If the streetcar can't sustain itself, we'll just raise taxes to cover the operations shortfall.

Councilman Thomas knows that her concerns are invalid.  The streetcar is not a burden and taxes can always be raised.  We endorse this streetcar, no matter the cost.  And Pamula Thomas feels the same way, because that is the position she has been ordered to take.

Open thread - what is a loyal Republican

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are picking up on a theme that was discussed in the comments section of our last post - loyalty.  We need reader participation for this discussion.

So we ask all you loyal tax hikers to tell us:  What is a loyal Republican?

Legal threat

Dear fellow tax hikers, we have been informed that we might be in danger of facing litigation because CincyCapell's wife was referred to here as a "pig".  We are just shaking in our boots.  You all can be the judge. 

Here she is, Mrs. America:

Mrs. CincyCapell is the red-headed blob in the middle.  She's sitting next to everyone. 

For a closer look:

Maybe someone can hire Stan Chesley to sue us.  We are so scared.

Mr. and Mrs. H, we invite you to continue picking fights with us.  Because we get so much enjoyment out of crafting our responses.  Oink Oink piggies.

Union hog sleeps away his 2-hour workday

Click to enlarge, if possible

Dear fellow tax hikers, union leader Mark Rosenthal is reported to spend his time on the clock eating and sleeping, and that's during the limited hours he's actually in the office.  The 5'7" 400-pound Rosenthal is the President of Local 983 of District Council 37, where he is supposed to represent the union's 3,000 New York City employees.

But according to other Executive Board members and a series of photos, Rosenthal spends only 2 hours/day in the office - all of it eating and sleeping.  Even worse, we hear he probably drinks sodas that are larger than King Michael Bloomberg's 16-oz limit.

Rosenblob earns a hefty $156,000/year for this grueling 10 hour/week job.  He has at least been an effective union leader by our standards:

He (Rosenthal) last made embarrassing headlines in 2009, when he inspired a City Council bill requiring jumbo-size ambulances for morbidly obese patients after he had a stroke at City Hall.

Rosenslob claims these charges represent a conspiracy against him from other Board members looking to overthrow him.  He says he actually works 12-14 hour days but sometimes takes one of those executive power naps.

He claims these naps are caused by medication he's taking for back problems that resulted from falling through a McDonald's chair.  We can believe that.  We can also believe the office chair he's pictured in has been reinforced with high-grade steel.

OKI Streetcar funding in danger

Dear fellow tax hikers, we strongly condemn Hamilton County Commissioners Chris Monzel and Greg Hartmann for urging the Ohio-Kentucky-Indiana Regional Council of Governments (OKI) to rescind the $4 million they previously allocated for the Cincinnati Streetcar.  They believe the money should be redirected to projects that serve more residents.  We disagree.

So what if the streetcar route has been shortened by over 2 miles?  So what if the project has already experienced significant cost overruns?  So what if the start date has been pushed back many years?  So what if the projected economic benefits have been significantly reduced before track construction has even started?  This streetcar should be built, no matter how much it costs. 

We completely sympathize with streetcar supporters who happily solicit and/or take money from Hamilton County, the State of Ohio, and the federal government, while telling all non-city residents to shut up about the streetcar.  If you don't live in Cincinnati you have no right to comment on the city's streetcar, but we'll happily make you pay for it. 

We stand behind the streetcar 100%.  We don't care how much it costs, and we know that Mark Mallory, Roxanne Qualls, and the other streetcar supporters on Council agree.  We especially support requiring outsiders to pay for the project and we condemn Commissioners Monzel and Hartmann for trying to redirect these funds. 

IRS Protest Tuesday May 21

Dear fellow tax hikers, we command everyone to not participate in tomorrow's nationwide protests against the IRS.  The IRS is the victim of a witch-hunt for courageously targeting Tea Party and other conservative groups. 

Locally this protest will start tomorrow on Fountain Square at Noon, where the ungrateful protestors will then march to the Federal Building a few blocks away.  This is where the IRS employees accused of wrongdoing work.  You are not to be present at any part of this protest.

We stand behind the IRS.  They hold the most honorable jobs in government - collecting your tax dollars!  They are so good that they have even collected delinquent tax dollars from Obama's Cabinet officials and Matt Borges.  We applaud them for deciding to target conservative and Tea Party groups - those people are trying to reduce government and lower the amount of taxes you pay.  We are delighted to see the Obama Administration using the full force of government to discriminate against these groups. 

We will provide all support possible to this fantastic government agency.  While those conservative bastards are protesting the IRS tomorrow, we want all of you behind your computers posting here to show your support for the great work being done by the IRS.  Tax us more!

Father, daughter arrested for having child together

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are outraged that a Connecticut man and his adult daughter have been arrested for having a child together.  These two people are being discriminated against for being with the one they love.  Who is the government to get in the way of a loving relationship between two or more consenting adults? 

Two months ago we pioneered the revolutionary concept of REAL Marriage Equality.  This means that any grouping of two or more consenting adults should have the right to marry each other.  Straight marriage between two people, gay marriage between two people, a bisexual marriage with a man and a woman, incest marriage, group marriages - they should all be legal.  We are going to fight the bigots who support traditional marriage AND the bigots who claim to support "marriage equality" but oppose equality for many loving couples and groups. 

Connecticut law highlights the hypocrisy of the "marriage equality" gang.  Connecticut claims to allow "marriage equality".  Yet, according to a wxix story, "In Connecticut, incest is treated as sexual assault."  This is discrimination.  It is not sexual assault to have sex with the one you love.

They were caught when the former girlfriend of the daughter, who she made sex tapes with, got angry with the daughter and reported the incest couple to the police.  A woman who made sex films with her girlfriend, and then had a baby with her father - this is the poster child for the new Marriage Equality.  Old morality is out.  Real Marriage Equality will soon be the new way. 

We support this loving couple.  We at Republicans for Higher Taxes do not support discrimination against straight people, gay people, bisexuals, incestors, or polygamists.  All of them should be allowed to marry and procreate.  If you don't support Real Marriage Equality, then you are a bigot!

Woman forgives boyfriend after being shot because he thought she was a hog

Dear fellow tax hikers, you might recall the story about a woman who was shot by her boyfriend after mistaking her for a hog.  We are happy to report that she is recovering nicely and has forgiven him for his action.  We have to ask - is she forgiving him for shooting her, or is she forgiving him for thinking she looks like a hog?

Note:  Surprisingly, the woman in this story is not Tabitha Hochscheid (Mrs. CincyCapell).

Some people think this is funny, but we are informing you this is no laughing matter.  Imagine how you would feel if you got shot by your boyfriend, and then he said he shot you because you looked just like a hog.  Talk about adding insult to injury.

We are enormously proud of this woman for forgiving her boyfriend.  It takes a big woman to get through something this weighty.  And we have no doubt this is one big woman who is comfortable in her skin.

May 7th, Primary Election Day

Dear fellow tax hikers, there are some tax issues on tomorrow's primary election ballot. 

We proudly endorse every single one of them.  If there is a tax of any kind on your ballot tomorrow, please show up to the polls and vote YES!

Pam Thomas, streetcar's newest friend

Dear fellow tax hikers, new Councilwoman Pamula Thomas has declared she will announce her position on the Cincinnati Streetcar by May 13th, as reported by Cincinnati Enquirer editor Carl Weiser. 

We can exclusively announce the results of her decision:  Pamula Thomas supports the streetcar 100%!  Even better, Pam supports the streetcar no matter how much it costs and will vote to spend any and all funds necessary to make this project happen.   

To come to any other conclusion would require Pamula to think for herself, something she has been explicitly ordered to never do.  Pamula is expected to blindly obey the commands of Mark Mallory, Roxanne Qualls, and Tim Burke.

Mrs. Thomas is a realist.  She knows she lacks the intellect to make these important decisions on her own.  She has been given her orders from Mallory/Qualls/Burke and knows she must obey.  Evidence of this will reveal itself when Councilwoman Thomas announces her support by next week for our beloved Cincinnati Streetcar.