Monday, November 30, 2015

Farewell, fine mustaches

Dear fellow tax hikers, we have been crying our eyes out all day knowing that two of our best tax hikers are hours away from having their public careers forcibly ended.  Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan and Jim Sumner will no longer be Blue Ash Councilmen as of midnight tonight.  Sumner was defeated in a landslide and Bryan lost to a dude named Pramod Jhaveri. 

These are two of the finest mustaches you'll ever see.  They will be greatly missed.  This is a sad day, but at least we can suffer it together as one big tax-hiking community.  Let's think of the good times.

Tell us, what are some of your favorite Rick Bryan and Jim Sumner moments. Was it their excellent tax increases?  Their support for tax-and-spend candidates?  Their arrogance that grew larger each year?

Share your thoughts with the community.  And join us for..........The Final Countdown.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Rick Bryan and Jim Sumner defeated

Dear fellow tax hikers, what the hell just happened?  We thought tonight was going to be great.  Royal Doyle Webster was re-elected (for the 20th time) as he zooms in on Strom Thurmond's record in elected office.  And we were ready to raise some taxes and smoke dope. 

Then we got smacked in the head with a piano falling from the sky.  We lost one of our greatest friends ever, Blue Ash Councilman Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan.  Even worse, his fellow mustache Jim Sumner was also defeated.  And we're just too hurt to say anything about the defeat of the Cincinnati Parks Tax. 

How did Ricky and Jim lose to a couple newbies who barely campaigned?  We are so distraught by these defeats that we will be spending the rest of the night listening to the new Justin Bieber CD.  But if all you tax hikers need a safe space to comfort each other, please open up and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Doyle Webster publishes brutal attack on Colerain Township

Dear fellow tax hikers, this Friday morning Springdale Mayor Doyle Webster posted on his website a piercing attack against Colerain Township.  Read the rant for yourself:

We applaud Royal Doyle Webster for telling it like it is.  This is how a Mayor represents his city!  We can think of no better way to bring Springdale the many improvements it needs than to launch a blistering attack against your neighboring communities. 

Royal Doyle is 100% right.  Colerain Township is jealous of Springdale.  We all are.  Who wouldn't want to experience their plethora of $90,000 houses, fast food joints, trailer parks, vacant business sites, and poorly-managed office complexes?  And if we re-elect Royal this Tuesday, Springdale can continue moving further in this positive direction.