Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Leslie Ghiz and Heather Russell for Judge

Dear fellow tax hikers, tonight we direct your attention to a unique race on this year's ballot - Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge.  This is a field race to elect two Judges.  You get two votes.  The top two finishers both get elected and there are four beautiful women running for these two spots.  If only me and my civil domestic partner liked women we would get to enjoy this race even more than we do now. 

We are proud to endorse our good friends Leslie Ghiz and Heather Russell.  These lovely ladies understand the value of higher taxes and bigger government. 

Leslie Ghiz is one of our longest and best friends.  You can search through our archives to see all of our glowing articles about her.  Leslie proudly endorsed liberal Democrat David Pepper for County Commissioner.  She strongly backed the huge Pepper/Portune/Leis $777 million Sales Tax increase in 2007 that sadly did not pass.  As a City Councilman, Leslie cast a pivotal vote to start the Cincinnati streetcar project.  Our Ghizzy also voted to expand gay rights, which she did while criticizing those damn conservatives who held a different opinion.  As you can see, Leslie has been one of our strongest tax-and-spend allies.

We also know Heather Russell to be a woman of big government herself.  In 2007 when we worked day and night to pass that $777 Sales Tax increase, Heather was supportive of our efforts.  As a sitting Judge she could not endorse it, but we fondly remember all the times she showed up to local Republican clubs nodding like a Bobblehead doll at every argument being made by one of our pro-tax speakers, and backing all of our strong pro-tax arguments.  We remain angry to this day that the voters rejected our position and killed that important tax increase.

We feel good endorsing Ghiz and Russell.  These are the kind of Republicans who best represent our party.  With four beautiful women running for these two positions, we can't ask for anything more than a chance to elect two of our GOP allies.  Leslie Ghiz and Heather Russell for Judge!

Friday, October 19, 2012


Dear fellow tax hikers, some guy named Smith is running for Congress against our enemy Brad Wenstrup.  We have never seen Smith, we know nothing about him, we wouldn't know it was him if he bumped into us, and we have no idea what he thinks about anything. 

Therefore, we give our enthusiastic endorsement to William Smith for Congress.  Smith is running against the evil conservative military man Brad Wenstrup, and that is enough for us to endorse him. 

Col. Wenstrup had no right to run for Congress against our good friend Jean Schmidt.  He certainly had no right to win.  Wenstrup must be stopped.  Just because he served our country in Iraq doesn't mean he knows anything about service. 

We know you don't know anything about Smith.  We don't know anything about Smith.  In fact, Democratic leaders don't know anything about Smith.  But we expect you all to vote for him.  Some Guy Named Smith for Congress!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Jennifer Triantafilou for Ohio Supreme Court

Dear fellow tax hikers, there will soon be a vacancy on the Ohio Supreme Court and our beloved Chairman Alex Triantafilou will be on the committee helping Governor John Kasich decide on the appointed replacement.  We already have our chosen candidate.

We endorse Jennifer Triantafilou to be the next Ohio Supreme Court Justice.  Mrs. Triantafilou is extremely well-qualified for this position.  We now present her qualifications:

- High School graduate. 
- Works as a secretary.....we mean administrative assistant.
- Married to Alex Triantafilou. <-------- Over here, it's this one!

Tracy Winkler saw these same attributes in her as we did when she chose Jennifer for a taxpayer-funded Green Township job where she did not meet minimum professional qualifications.  As Tracy herself knows, professional qualifications do not apply when you marry into the right family. 

If Mrs. Triantafilou does not get this appointment, we hope it goes to a member of the Russo or Dimora families in Cuyahoga County.  Even though many of them are in jail, or soon will be, they are one of the top royal families in this state and that entitles them to special considerations not available to the rest of us.  Governor Kasich can earn back some of the respect he has lost from us by appointing someone from a well-connected family rather than an individual with impressive professional qualifications. 

Friday, October 5, 2012

Re-Elect Barack Obama

Dear fellow tax hikers, we strongly endorse Barack Hussein Obama for President.  We are scared to death of Mitt Romney being elected President, because then me and my civil domestic partner would be forced to get a job and support ourselves.  It isn't right, we deserve to live off those who work for a living.

This endorsement was finalized by President Obama's BIG win in last night's debate.  That was the real Barack Obama.  That was the Barack Obama we have loved for four years.

Our Messiah has been one of our greatest Presidents ever.  He has been a passionate advocate for higher taxes.  In fact, just today Vice President Joe Biden acknowledged that his administration will be seeking a $1 Trillion tax increase.

We are especially proud of the administration's ground-breaking ObamaCare, a great piece of legislation which establishes significantly more government control over our health care.  Even better - ObamaCare is another big tax increase!  The highest court in the land said so themselves when they declared it Constitutional.

President Obama has been great in so many other ways too.  Obama voted for the Wall Street Bailouts for Billionaires.  It was a matter of fairness.  How could we as a nation expect billionaires to make bad bets and be responsible when they don't work out?  Obama helped lead the auto bailouts.  Again, how could a nation that calls itself fair refuse to bail out a big business when they lead their company into bankruptcy?  Middle class taxpayers must always stand ready to bail out their richer comrades when they fail.  

There is so much more.  Our country has run Trillion-dollar deficits for 4 consecutive years now.  Now that's big government like we've never seen before!  Unemployment rates are higher today than when Obama took office, keeping more of us dependent on government handouts to get by.  Gas prices have doubled.  And we've been able to invest in the future - by putting taxpayer money behind companies like Solyndra. 

These past 4 years have been great!  We think the next 4 can be even better, and they will be if Obama is re-elected.  We proudly endorse Our Messiah Barack Obama.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Endorsements coming

Dear fellow tax hikers, this week Republicans for Higher Taxes will start rolling out its endorsements!  We cannot wait to provide our expert guidance so that we may all vote for the highest-taxing, biggest-spending candidates we can find.  We have some excellent candidates at the federal and local levels who deserve our support. 

We can feel the momentum building.  This is going to be a great election for the big government movement. 

For now, we leave you with the Official Anthem of Our Messiah Barack Obama.