Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Union hog sleeps away his 2-hour workday

Click to enlarge, if possible

Dear fellow tax hikers, union leader Mark Rosenthal is reported to spend his time on the clock eating and sleeping, and that's during the limited hours he's actually in the office.  The 5'7" 400-pound Rosenthal is the President of Local 983 of District Council 37, where he is supposed to represent the union's 3,000 New York City employees.

But according to other Executive Board members and a series of photos, Rosenthal spends only 2 hours/day in the office - all of it eating and sleeping.  Even worse, we hear he probably drinks sodas that are larger than King Michael Bloomberg's 16-oz limit.

Rosenblob earns a hefty $156,000/year for this grueling 10 hour/week job.  He has at least been an effective union leader by our standards:

He (Rosenthal) last made embarrassing headlines in 2009, when he inspired a City Council bill requiring jumbo-size ambulances for morbidly obese patients after he had a stroke at City Hall.

Rosenslob claims these charges represent a conspiracy against him from other Board members looking to overthrow him.  He says he actually works 12-14 hour days but sometimes takes one of those executive power naps.

He claims these naps are caused by medication he's taking for back problems that resulted from falling through a McDonald's chair.  We can believe that.  We can also believe the office chair he's pictured in has been reinforced with high-grade steel.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

OKI Streetcar funding in danger

Dear fellow tax hikers, we strongly condemn Hamilton County Commissioners Chris Monzel and Greg Hartmann for urging the Ohio-Kentucky-Indiana Regional Council of Governments (OKI) to rescind the $4 million they previously allocated for the Cincinnati Streetcar.  They believe the money should be redirected to projects that serve more residents.  We disagree.

So what if the streetcar route has been shortened by over 2 miles?  So what if the project has already experienced significant cost overruns?  So what if the start date has been pushed back many years?  So what if the projected economic benefits have been significantly reduced before track construction has even started?  This streetcar should be built, no matter how much it costs. 

We completely sympathize with streetcar supporters who happily solicit and/or take money from Hamilton County, the State of Ohio, and the federal government, while telling all non-city residents to shut up about the streetcar.  If you don't live in Cincinnati you have no right to comment on the city's streetcar, but we'll happily make you pay for it. 

We stand behind the streetcar 100%.  We don't care how much it costs, and we know that Mark Mallory, Roxanne Qualls, and the other streetcar supporters on Council agree.  We especially support requiring outsiders to pay for the project and we condemn Commissioners Monzel and Hartmann for trying to redirect these funds. 

Monday, May 20, 2013

IRS Protest Tuesday May 21

Dear fellow tax hikers, we command everyone to not participate in tomorrow's nationwide protests against the IRS.  The IRS is the victim of a witch-hunt for courageously targeting Tea Party and other conservative groups. 

Locally this protest will start tomorrow on Fountain Square at Noon, where the ungrateful protestors will then march to the Federal Building a few blocks away.  This is where the IRS employees accused of wrongdoing work.  You are not to be present at any part of this protest.

We stand behind the IRS.  They hold the most honorable jobs in government - collecting your tax dollars!  They are so good that they have even collected delinquent tax dollars from Obama's Cabinet officials and Matt Borges.  We applaud them for deciding to target conservative and Tea Party groups - those people are trying to reduce government and lower the amount of taxes you pay.  We are delighted to see the Obama Administration using the full force of government to discriminate against these groups. 

We will provide all support possible to this fantastic government agency.  While those conservative bastards are protesting the IRS tomorrow, we want all of you behind your computers posting here to show your support for the great work being done by the IRS.  Tax us more!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Father, daughter arrested for having child together

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are outraged that a Connecticut man and his adult daughter have been arrested for having a child together.  These two people are being discriminated against for being with the one they love.  Who is the government to get in the way of a loving relationship between two or more consenting adults? 

Two months ago we pioneered the revolutionary concept of REAL Marriage Equality.  This means that any grouping of two or more consenting adults should have the right to marry each other.  Straight marriage between two people, gay marriage between two people, a bisexual marriage with a man and a woman, incest marriage, group marriages - they should all be legal.  We are going to fight the bigots who support traditional marriage AND the bigots who claim to support "marriage equality" but oppose equality for many loving couples and groups. 

Connecticut law highlights the hypocrisy of the "marriage equality" gang.  Connecticut claims to allow "marriage equality".  Yet, according to a wxix story, "In Connecticut, incest is treated as sexual assault."  This is discrimination.  It is not sexual assault to have sex with the one you love.

They were caught when the former girlfriend of the daughter, who she made sex tapes with, got angry with the daughter and reported the incest couple to the police.  A woman who made sex films with her girlfriend, and then had a baby with her father - this is the poster child for the new Marriage Equality.  Old morality is out.  Real Marriage Equality will soon be the new way. 

We support this loving couple.  We at Republicans for Higher Taxes do not support discrimination against straight people, gay people, bisexuals, incestors, or polygamists.  All of them should be allowed to marry and procreate.  If you don't support Real Marriage Equality, then you are a bigot!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Woman forgives boyfriend after being shot because he thought she was a hog

Dear fellow tax hikers, you might recall the story about a woman who was shot by her boyfriend after mistaking her for a hog.  We are happy to report that she is recovering nicely and has forgiven him for his action.  We have to ask - is she forgiving him for shooting her, or is she forgiving him for thinking she looks like a hog?

Note:  Surprisingly, the woman in this story is not Tabitha Hochscheid (Mrs. CincyCapell).

Some people think this is funny, but we are informing you this is no laughing matter.  Imagine how you would feel if you got shot by your boyfriend, and then he said he shot you because you looked just like a hog.  Talk about adding insult to injury.

We are enormously proud of this woman for forgiving her boyfriend.  It takes a big woman to get through something this weighty.  And we have no doubt this is one big woman who is comfortable in her skin.

Monday, May 6, 2013

May 7th, Primary Election Day

Dear fellow tax hikers, there are some tax issues on tomorrow's primary election ballot. 

We proudly endorse every single one of them.  If there is a tax of any kind on your ballot tomorrow, please show up to the polls and vote YES!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Pam Thomas, streetcar's newest friend

Dear fellow tax hikers, new Councilwoman Pamula Thomas has declared she will announce her position on the Cincinnati Streetcar by May 13th, as reported by Cincinnati Enquirer editor Carl Weiser. 

We can exclusively announce the results of her decision:  Pamula Thomas supports the streetcar 100%!  Even better, Pam supports the streetcar no matter how much it costs and will vote to spend any and all funds necessary to make this project happen.   

To come to any other conclusion would require Pamula to think for herself, something she has been explicitly ordered to never do.  Pamula is expected to blindly obey the commands of Mark Mallory, Roxanne Qualls, and Tim Burke.

Mrs. Thomas is a realist.  She knows she lacks the intellect to make these important decisions on her own.  She has been given her orders from Mallory/Qualls/Burke and knows she must obey.  Evidence of this will reveal itself when Councilwoman Thomas announces her support by next week for our beloved Cincinnati Streetcar.