Monday, October 26, 2015

Doyle Webster's Dirty Needles

Dear fellow tax hikers, of the many things we love about Springdale Mayor "Royal" Doyle Webster, one of our favorites is the drug needle exchange program he brought to Springdale. 

Springdale Mayor Doyle Webster and a majority of city council members agreed last summer to allow Cincinnati Exchange in their community

We want to be clear about something - these drug needles are for drug addicts only, and not for Royal Doyle or any erratic members of His Royal Family. 

This program is good for the Springdale economy.  When these drug addicts converge on Springdale for their free supplies, we believe many of them will hang around and spend some money in local Springdale businesses - virtually zero of which are based in a poorly-managed office park. 

Fifty-one people, all white, participated in the first seven weeks, Harrison said. Eighty percent were men; the median age was 32. One person came seven times, most came once or just a few times.

See, this program quickly brought Springdale exactly what it needs - an infusion of good, young, white, drug addicts to build the next generation of city leaders.  This is Royal Doyle's leadership at its finest.  We need to re-elect Doyle Webster to get four more years of these progressive, wonderful government programs. 

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Doyle Webster to Council: Pay Me

Dear fellow tax hikers, often people are trying to extend their compliments to an elected official by referring to them as "selfless".  Whatever.  One of the things we like most about Springdale Mayor "Royal" Doyle Webster is that he never hesitates to put himself first. 

When Royal Doyle was being paid a mere $12,000/year to be the ceremonial Mayor and wanted more, he took action. Royal demanded that Council give him a 50% pay raise, whether it was legal or not.  Did you get a 50% raise? 

The Ohio Ethics Commission has said it's illegal for elected officials to vote themselves an in-term pay increase. It could cloud decisions about whether the raise would be in a city's best interest, the commission has said. It also denies voters the chance when they go to the polls to know what their representatives will earn.

Royal Doyle wanted his money, he wanted it NOW, and he didn't want no stinkin' voters having their say. 

As for allowing residents to vote on the issue, Mr. Webster said he's against it.

Not only does Doyle look out for himself at City Hall, he looks after his immediately family too.  In 2009 he tried to install his daughter, the legendary Campaign Expert PhD Julie Matheny, on Springdale Council.  Sadly she lost in a landslide, making her roughly the only Republican in Hamilton County unable to get elected on the back of an established family name. 

But at least Royal Doyle got his pay raise!  We applaud Doyle for his dedication - to himself, to his family, and to raising taxes.  We encourage everyone visiting Springdale to avoid the most dangerous places there - and the most unsafe place by far is between Royal Doyle Webster to his next big pay increase.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Royal Doyle Webster runs again

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are pleased that our great friend Royal Doyle Webster is running again for Springdale Mayor.  For your benefit, we have a chosen a great musical selection that is befitting of Doyle's royalty.  We would like you to play this as you read the rest of our entry:

We believe this would be Royal Doyle's 27th term as Mayor.  Royal has been a champion tax hiker, and shows no hesitation to team up with liberals like Barack Obama to support great candidates like Democrat Micah Kamrass - a far left kid backed by Planned Parenthood, the Obamas, Stan Chesley, and Jerry Springer.

Four years ago Royal Doyle faced a close call.  We are ensuring that this campaign will be well-run, which means Doyle will have to select a Campaign Manager from outside the family. 

His opponent this year is a fellow Springdale official, Marjorie Harlow.  She has no right to run for this position.  We are absolutely disgusted that we have to deal with another Harlow woman.  What is it with them?

These Harlow women need to learn their role, and it's not challenging men who are entitled to hold office!  We look forward to providing the muscle that will re-elect Royal Doyle Webster as Springdale Mayor - and in the process we'll put that Harlow woman in her place.