We start with the champion tax-hiking couple Jim and Pam Detzel. Similar to Blue Ash's High Tax Adamecs, the Detzels are in the strong competition for Tax-Hiking Couple of the Year. You see, both Jim and Pam Detzel are on the same board, Northwest Local Board of Education. The good news is that means they can raise taxes on people in parts of Green Township and Springfield Township, not just in Colerain. Though with both of them on the same board, it limits the number of taxes they can raise, so they know they have to raise taxes efficiently.
The Detzels are up for election this year. Scratch that, only Pam is actually on the ballot. You see, Pam and Jim are on the ballot in different years, hoping that the uneducated voters in Northwest never notice there is a husband and wife on the very same Board. We must elect Pam. Do you realize if Pam loses, there will only be one Detzel on the Board? That would be completely unfair.
We are very impressed with Pam's superior level of education. For example, this School Board Member, on the Northwest Schools website, produced these grammatical gems:
We at Republicans For Higher Taxes love tax-hiking power couples and there is no greater honor than to support the tax-hiking Detzels who have successfully hiked taxes THREE times in recent years. Way to go Jim and Pam!
We are also enthusiastic about Detzel's trusty sidekicks David Denny and Dexter Carpenter (no relation to Dexter Morgan). Dexter has valuable experience working as a janitor in the schools, proving he has what it takes to clean up Northwest. He also wants the schools to spend a lot more, which means you'll get taxed a lot more. Denny is a champion tax hiker with an impeccable attention to detail. For example, he states on the Northwest Schools site that he was re-elected to the School Board. Actually, he's only been elected once, and therefore has not been re-elected.
It is vital that you vote against fiscal conservatives Christopher Heather and Michael Harlow. Heather is a former Board member who fought hard against raising taxes, and Harlow is cut from the same fiscally conservative mold. Harlow could be even worse. He is married to a woman (our enemy Heather Harlow) who is vocally conservative and supportive of the 2nd Amendment. These are opinions that no woman should be allowed to have, and he won't do anything to stop it. How can Harlow control a school district if he won't exercise control over his wife?
We do not like opinionated women who disagree with us, and we don't like fiscal conservatives on the School Board. That is why you must vote against Christopher Heather and Michael Harlow, and vote for tax hikers Pam Detzel, David Denny, and Dexter Carpenter.