Monday, July 29, 2013

Mickey Esposito sentenced to 6 years in prison

Dear fellow tax hikers, we sadly report that our friend and Courthouse Confidante Mickey Esposito has been sentenced to six years in prison for his role in the Hamilton County Courthouse Crime Ring.  His wife, Allison Esposito, was sentenced to 4 years and his son was previously sentenced to two years for their roles in the Esposito family enterprise.  Per the above article, Esposito tried to claim he was just trying to help his wife:

Michael “Mickey” Esposito thought he was doing his spousal duty when the Sheriff’s deputy in charge of the evidence room brought drugs home to help his wife’s back problem.

Because stealing jewelry and selling drugs are known to have a PROFOUND effect on curing back pain. 

For some reason, the judge didn't buy it and sentenced these three thieves to prison for 6, 4, and 2 years.  The family that steals together serves time together.  On the positive side, at least they'll be able to celebrate the holidays together for the next two years. 

We hope Mrs. Esposito gets to share a cell with Melowese Richardson.  We can only imagine how many things they'd steal from each other. 

We encourage everyone to keep their heads up during these difficult times.  Mickey Esposito is a Courthouse Confidential and Friend of Simon Leis, and because of that he is entitled to respect.  We applaud Tracy Winkler's employee Vince Wallace for the example he has set in giving Mickey the respect he deserves.  All of you should follow his example. 

In honor of Mickey's side job as a washed-up Vegas lounge act, we leave you with a live version of his namesake song, Hey Mickey.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Mickey Esposito and Vince Wallace

Dear fellow tax hikers, it was great seeing everyone at the big Vince Wallace fundraiser last week!  We asked for a huge turnout and we got it, making this year's premier GOP fundraiser a very successful one. 

Vince was kind enough to highlight some of his most treasured guests in a Facebook posting.  Among them was our favorite thief Mickey Esposito! 

Mickey Esposito is a former Sheriff's Deputy, hired and promoted by the great Simon Leis, to run the evidence room.  Esposito was arrested earlier this year and eventually admitted using his position to steal significant amounts of goods.  A family values man, Mickey's wife and son were part of the criminal ring.  Oh Mickey you're so fine. 

We applaud Tracy Winker's employee Vince Wallace for including Mr. Esposito among his noteworthy guests.  Esposito may be a proficient thief - but he's OUR thief.  We continue to stand behind Mickey as he awaits sentencing next week, and we thank Mr. Wallace for giving Mickey one last well-deserved honor for all the good he has done for Hamilton County. 

Friday, July 19, 2013

City Hall scandal

Dear fellow tax hikers, there is so much scandal at Cincinnati City Hall we don't know where to begin.  For once we are actually speechless and suffering writer's block because it's hard to keep it all straight.  To compensate, we'll list the scandals and let you loyal readers take it from there.

- Cincinnati administrators withheld a memo from City Council and the public that was critical of the excellent Cincinnati parking deal.  It says the city is paying far too much in fees for the services they are receiving.

- Cincinnati paid over $300,000 for this consultant, only to suppress his findings.

- The Port Authority first tried to delay the memo's release, then said they wish they had seen it sooner, then drew upon their vast expertise in the parking industry to declare that this $300,000 consultant was wrong.

- The Port Authority refused to allow a Cincinnati City Councilman into their offices to deliver a letter about the growing scandal. 

- Later it came out that the Port Authority's Vice President accused the city of lying about the parking deal all along and wondered why the Port was involved.

- Oh yeah, now the Port wants a mere $27 million from this parking deal for their own projects.   Roxanne Qualls, naturally, supports this. 

There it is.  If you need the links they're easy enough to find.  Take it away tax hikers.  We've got a box of Twinkies to devour.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Important GOP Fundraiser

Dear fellow tax hikers, GOP officials are hosting a huge fundraiser this week and it is urgent that you attend.  Is this a fundraiser to assist the Republican candidate for Cincinnati Mayor?  Of course not - we don't have a candidate for Mayor.  Oh wait, it must be a fundraiser to help the Republicans take back the 9-member Cincinnati City Council.  Nope it's not that either.  In fact, the Hamilton County GOP doesn't even have 5 candidates. 

On July 18th there will be a mega-fundraiser for Symmes Township Fiscal Officer candidate Vince Wallace.  It costs a minimum of $100 and your attendance is expected. 

If you haven't heard of Vince Wallace, you should have.  Last year our good friends Tracy Winkler and hubby, His Honor Ralph Ted Winkler, went on vacation with Vince and Deb Wallace.  Upon their return, Tracy hired Vince to be her Chief Operations Officer for a cool $68k/year and His Honor hired Deb to be his double-dipping Court Reporter.  We have no doubt they were the two most qualified people in the world for those jobs. 

Mr. Wallace is someone important.  He is a Friend of Alex and Tracy (FAT).  Wallace's election as Symmes Fiscal Officer would be an important victory to expand the Winker Empire.   Friends support friends.  And as an FAT and friend of ours, we want everyone to help us make this week's Vince Wallace fundraiser a rousing success. 

Friday, July 12, 2013

Casino tax revenues continue their plummet

Dear fellow tax hikers, bad news on the homefront as Hamilton County has lowered their casino revenue estimates.  This marks approximately the 17th time these casino projections have been revised downward.  

The original casino tax revenue projections anticipated $20 million/year to the City of Cincinnati and at least $11 million/year to Hamilton County.  Now Cincinnati only expects $10 million/year and Hamilton County's predicted take is down to $5 million/year or less.

We do not understand how this could have happened.  Those predictions were vetted and endorsed by the legendary U.C. Economics Department.  Those people are fantastic!  They also told us the stadiums and Freedom Center were going to be economic bonanzas and obviously they were correct.

Just because the U.C. Economics Department's predictions regarding the casinos have fallen apart within a couple years doesn't mean you should doubt their glowing streetcar predictions.  We can trust that their rosy projections about the streetcar going three decades into the future are accurate.  In fact, CityBeat declared that UC's economic projections about the streetcar are beyond dispute.  The issue is settled.  UC's streetcar projections, going decades into the future, are accurate, even though their casino projections were laughably inept. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Streetcar picks up more support

Dear fellow tax hikers, our Cincinnati Streetcar continues to pick up support.  This week's CityBeat features an article from German Lopez - not to be confused with the German people, or a German Shepherd - discussing 10 misrepresentations about this important project.  We are going to share some of our favorites.

Misrepresentation: "The streetcar will be full of scary black guys with guns."

This misrepresentation began when a UC student created a questionable photograph showing black guys with guns taking over the future streetcar, and this student tagged a COAST member in the photograph when posting it to Facebook.  Therefore, all of COAST is racist.  And furthermore, everyone who opposes the streetcar hates African-Americans. 

Christopher Smitherman and the NAACP oppose the streetcar.  This means Smitherman and the NAACP hate black people. 

We condemn this misrepresentation and we condemn everyone who opposes the streetcar.  If you oppose the streetcar, you are a RACIST.

Misrepresentation:  "The streetcar won't foster economic development."

The UC Economic Department says it will create economic development.  Therefore it will. 

The UC Economic Department also told us we would experience wild successes from the stadiums, Freedom Center, and casinos.  With their stellar record of accurate projections, who would dare question their streetcar predictions? 

We would like you to forget that the project's projections on the spending side have been very inaccurate so far.  So have their predictions about support from the state of Ohio and private sector.  Just because the short-term projections that can be evaluated have been far off doesn't mean that we shouldn't trust their economic growth projections that go decades into the future. 

And if you do question them, you are a RACIST.

Misrepresentation:  "Buses are just as good as streetcars."

Those unsophisticated (and racist) streetcar opponents just don't understand the power of the rail.  Streetcars are permanent.  PERMANENT.  Just like Cincinnati's first round of streetcars were permanent.

Because this rail is PERMANENT, people know it will be there forever (or until they're ripped up).  It's the Magic Rail Theory.  Just put the rail down and all sorts of benefits will follow.  And if you disagree, you are a RACIST. 

We thank CityBeat and German Lopez (no relation to George Lopez) for this wonderful contribution.  We have repeatedly endorsed a new system of Cincinnati streetcars, no matter the cost.  You should too.  And remember - if you don't support the streetcar, you are a RACIST.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Just one week away

Dear fellow tax hikers, by this time next week The Twinkie will be back in stores nationwide!

This truly is the sweetest comeback in the history of ever.  We even learned today that Twinkies will have an additional 19 days of shelf life from it's pre-shutdown version, improving from 26 days to 45.  This just adds to the buildup.  The anticipation is driving us crazy!

If you think we're excited, imagine how porky pigs Mr. and Mrs. CincyCapell (Craig and Tabitha Hochscheid) feel.  Supposedly their Price Hill neighbors have been hearing the Oinks of Joy for days. 

We're down to one final week of withdrawal before our favorite dessert is back.  Follow the official countdown here.  We've gotta get going now - we have to prepare for the Sunday evening campout so we can be first in line to experience the comeback.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Real Marriage Equality - one step closer

Dear fellow tax hikers, there is one reason and one reason only that we are excited by the recent gay marriage rulings from the U.S. Supreme Court - we are now closer than ever to Real Marriage Equality

This revolutionary concept is distinguished from gay marriage/marriage equality in that it is the only marriage policy that is non-discriminatory.  Real Marriage Equality means that any two adults or group of adults, related or not, have the right to enter a lawful marriage.  This not only includes straight and gay marriages between two people, but it includes bisexual marriages between three people, group marriage, polygamy, and incest marriages.

Every time a U.S. Court rules in favor of gay marriage, they lay the ground work for Real Marriage Equality.  ALL of the arguments that support judicial-mandated gay marriage also apply to this.  Once the Courts say that gay marriage is required because of equality, then all other non-traditional marriages must be allowed as well.  Equality means equality. 

Already this is being recognized.  In fact, a local conservative State Representative has just admitted it

Could there be any real doubt in anyone’s mind that polygamy will become a reality in this country and sooner rather than later?  If you consider the arguments in favor of so-called “gay marriage,” the identical arguments could be applied to polygamy.  

That's precisely what we have been saying!  All of the arguments that could be used against Real Marriage Equality have already been tried against gay marriage, and they have been rejected. 

We challenge any of our readers - tell us why gay marriage/marriage equality should be legal but Real Marriage Equality should not!  You can't.  Real Marriage Equality is coming.  Soon.