Monday, November 30, 2015

Farewell, fine mustaches

Dear fellow tax hikers, we have been crying our eyes out all day knowing that two of our best tax hikers are hours away from having their public careers forcibly ended.  Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan and Jim Sumner will no longer be Blue Ash Councilmen as of midnight tonight.  Sumner was defeated in a landslide and Bryan lost to a dude named Pramod Jhaveri. 

These are two of the finest mustaches you'll ever see.  They will be greatly missed.  This is a sad day, but at least we can suffer it together as one big tax-hiking community.  Let's think of the good times.

Tell us, what are some of your favorite Rick Bryan and Jim Sumner moments. Was it their excellent tax increases?  Their support for tax-and-spend candidates?  Their arrogance that grew larger each year?

Share your thoughts with the community.  And join us for..........The Final Countdown.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Rick Bryan and Jim Sumner defeated

Dear fellow tax hikers, what the hell just happened?  We thought tonight was going to be great.  Royal Doyle Webster was re-elected (for the 20th time) as he zooms in on Strom Thurmond's record in elected office.  And we were ready to raise some taxes and smoke dope. 

Then we got smacked in the head with a piano falling from the sky.  We lost one of our greatest friends ever, Blue Ash Councilman Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan.  Even worse, his fellow mustache Jim Sumner was also defeated.  And we're just too hurt to say anything about the defeat of the Cincinnati Parks Tax. 

How did Ricky and Jim lose to a couple newbies who barely campaigned?  We are so distraught by these defeats that we will be spending the rest of the night listening to the new Justin Bieber CD.  But if all you tax hikers need a safe space to comfort each other, please open up and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Doyle Webster publishes brutal attack on Colerain Township

Dear fellow tax hikers, this Friday morning Springdale Mayor Doyle Webster posted on his website a piercing attack against Colerain Township.  Read the rant for yourself:

We applaud Royal Doyle Webster for telling it like it is.  This is how a Mayor represents his city!  We can think of no better way to bring Springdale the many improvements it needs than to launch a blistering attack against your neighboring communities. 

Royal Doyle is 100% right.  Colerain Township is jealous of Springdale.  We all are.  Who wouldn't want to experience their plethora of $90,000 houses, fast food joints, trailer parks, vacant business sites, and poorly-managed office complexes?  And if we re-elect Royal this Tuesday, Springdale can continue moving further in this positive direction.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Doyle Webster's Dirty Needles

Dear fellow tax hikers, of the many things we love about Springdale Mayor "Royal" Doyle Webster, one of our favorites is the drug needle exchange program he brought to Springdale. 

Springdale Mayor Doyle Webster and a majority of city council members agreed last summer to allow Cincinnati Exchange in their community

We want to be clear about something - these drug needles are for drug addicts only, and not for Royal Doyle or any erratic members of His Royal Family. 

This program is good for the Springdale economy.  When these drug addicts converge on Springdale for their free supplies, we believe many of them will hang around and spend some money in local Springdale businesses - virtually zero of which are based in a poorly-managed office park. 

Fifty-one people, all white, participated in the first seven weeks, Harrison said. Eighty percent were men; the median age was 32. One person came seven times, most came once or just a few times.

See, this program quickly brought Springdale exactly what it needs - an infusion of good, young, white, drug addicts to build the next generation of city leaders.  This is Royal Doyle's leadership at its finest.  We need to re-elect Doyle Webster to get four more years of these progressive, wonderful government programs. 

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Doyle Webster to Council: Pay Me

Dear fellow tax hikers, often people are trying to extend their compliments to an elected official by referring to them as "selfless".  Whatever.  One of the things we like most about Springdale Mayor "Royal" Doyle Webster is that he never hesitates to put himself first. 

When Royal Doyle was being paid a mere $12,000/year to be the ceremonial Mayor and wanted more, he took action. Royal demanded that Council give him a 50% pay raise, whether it was legal or not.  Did you get a 50% raise? 

The Ohio Ethics Commission has said it's illegal for elected officials to vote themselves an in-term pay increase. It could cloud decisions about whether the raise would be in a city's best interest, the commission has said. It also denies voters the chance when they go to the polls to know what their representatives will earn.

Royal Doyle wanted his money, he wanted it NOW, and he didn't want no stinkin' voters having their say. 

As for allowing residents to vote on the issue, Mr. Webster said he's against it.

Not only does Doyle look out for himself at City Hall, he looks after his immediately family too.  In 2009 he tried to install his daughter, the legendary Campaign Expert PhD Julie Matheny, on Springdale Council.  Sadly she lost in a landslide, making her roughly the only Republican in Hamilton County unable to get elected on the back of an established family name. 

But at least Royal Doyle got his pay raise!  We applaud Doyle for his dedication - to himself, to his family, and to raising taxes.  We encourage everyone visiting Springdale to avoid the most dangerous places there - and the most unsafe place by far is between Royal Doyle Webster to his next big pay increase.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Royal Doyle Webster runs again

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are pleased that our great friend Royal Doyle Webster is running again for Springdale Mayor.  For your benefit, we have a chosen a great musical selection that is befitting of Doyle's royalty.  We would like you to play this as you read the rest of our entry:

We believe this would be Royal Doyle's 27th term as Mayor.  Royal has been a champion tax hiker, and shows no hesitation to team up with liberals like Barack Obama to support great candidates like Democrat Micah Kamrass - a far left kid backed by Planned Parenthood, the Obamas, Stan Chesley, and Jerry Springer.

Four years ago Royal Doyle faced a close call.  We are ensuring that this campaign will be well-run, which means Doyle will have to select a Campaign Manager from outside the family. 

His opponent this year is a fellow Springdale official, Marjorie Harlow.  She has no right to run for this position.  We are absolutely disgusted that we have to deal with another Harlow woman.  What is it with them?

These Harlow women need to learn their role, and it's not challenging men who are entitled to hold office!  We look forward to providing the muscle that will re-elect Royal Doyle Webster as Springdale Mayor - and in the process we'll put that Harlow woman in her place. 

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Blue Ash suffers mini-horse setback

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are very upset that the City of Blue Ash has suffered a setback in their efforts to punish a handicapped child for using a miniature service horse to improve her quality of life.  These kind of efforts are not wanted in a community as fine as Blue Ash.  Now this family will get to continue their lawsuit, as a Federal Appeals Court reversed the decision of the trial judge who dismissed this terrible lawsuit.

We applaud the City of Blue Ash for putting the handicapped in their place.  Kids who use service horses to assist with their disability should move to a community that wants those kind of people living there.  Blue Ash doesn't.

We urge this family to drop their lawsuit.  They do not want to mess with Lee Czerwonka, Rick Bryan, and Marc Sirkin.  Disabled residents in Blue Ash better learn their place in the hierarchy - and it's at the bottom, along with State Representative Jonathan Dever and his supporters.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Blue Ash Council subsidizes their golf course

Dear fellow tax hikers, we hope all of our Blue Ash readers are happy this week.  If not, they will be after learning that their tax dollars are subsidizing the Blue Ash Golf Course to the tune of $220,000 per year. 

We fully endorse this generous subsidy.  With golf now being dominated by the impoverished, it would not be fair to expect golf hobbyists to pay for their own rounds.  Blue Ash taxpayers need to subsidize the hordes of lower income folks who flock to the golf course for their Friday afternoon tee times. 

We are glad to see Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan, Jack Buckman, and Blue Ash Council looking out for the lower income golfers just as they look out for themselves.  The Blue Ash Golf Course needs this tax money.  The police, fire, sidewalks, and neighborhoods don't.  If Blue Ash voters continue re-electing the likes of Rick Bryan, Jim Sumner, and Marc Sirkin, they can rest easy knowing that their tax dollars will continue to subsidize the golf course along with the European Vacations of their Councilmen.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Hating Heather Harlow

Dear fellow tax hikers, with the final 2015 filing deadline in the rear view mirror, this fall's campaign season is officially on!  One of our top priorities this year is the removal of Colerain Township Fiscal Officer Heather Harlow - a conservative woman who does not know her role.  As the leaders of the Hate Heather Harlow Club, we have been trying for years to remove this horrible woman from office and have failed every time

This year we are receiving help from liberal intellectual leader Trent Tenney and his massive online group Give the Heave-Ho to Heather Harlow.  The group's #1 focus was finding a high-quality opponent that would finally pick up the win. 

And what a fantastic job they did!

Join us if you want to give Harlow the heave ho as bad as we do.  This year it's finally going to happen.  We guarantee it.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

New Stadium Tax!

Dear fellow tax hikers, yesterday we learned that Hamilton County taxpayers will soon have an opportunity to implement another stadium tax to renovate the privately-owned US Bank Arena! We love all tax hikes, but stadium taxes are the best.  Our county has enjoyed tremendous success from the first Bedinghaus/Qualls Stadium Tax - so much success that we are now being told we need to spend $250 million on another stadium.

Leaders have said they will seek a "public-private partnership".  This means the public will pay 99% of the expenses, while the private owners might be kind enough to put in the final 1% - if they feel like it. 

We endorse this tax hike.  The Bedinghaus-Qualls Stadium Tax has been an unrivaled success.  We think another stadium tax would be delightful if it ensures another riverfront stadium as great as the first two.

Monday, July 27, 2015


Dear fellow tax hikers, we realize it's been 11 days since our last post.  Call it a summer break.

So we will catch you up on everything that's happened since we took a vacation:

- Donald Trump
- Hillary Clinton


Thursday, July 16, 2015

Help Planned Parenthood make a buck

Dear fellow tax hikers, our friends at Planned Parenthood have come under fire over the revelations that they have been selling the body parts of the babies they abort.  We don't see the problem here.  What's wrong with profiting off the human body parts of a non-human life?

See the abbreviated 9 minute video and the full, unedited 2h42m taping here

The reaction against this honorable commerce has been swift.  Speaker John Boehner has announced Congress will hold hearings.  Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal is investigating in his state.  Ohio politicians John Kasich and Dave Yost have condemned it, as have numerous presidential candidates.  We are going to share some relevant information. 

- This is not a human being:

It's a Planned Parenthood revenue stream. 

- There's no reason to respectfully dispose of these non-humans when you can make a buck off them.
In newly released undercover footage from the pro-life Center for Medical Progress, seasoned abortionist Dr. Deborah Nucatola, who serves as national senior director of “medical services” at Planned Parenthood, chitter-chattered eagerly about fulfilling the bloodthirsty demand for “intact hearts,” “lower extremities” and lungs.

Price tag? “You know, I would throw a number out,” she babbled breezily as she twirled her fork. “I would say it’s probably anywhere from $30 to $100″ per specimen.

- And this is a Siamese Pig:

Click to enlarge, if possible
No, actually it's NARAL Ohio's Executive Director Kellie Copeland.  She stands with Planned Parenthood in this controversy. 

We all should stand with Planned Parenthood.  Remember - an unborn child isn't a human, until their human body parts can turn a profit for Planned Parenthood. 

Monday, July 6, 2015

Bail out Greece

Dear fellow tax hikers, it is urgent that the United States Government begin its next bailout program. 

Yesterday Greece voted to reject their latest bailout. 

Tomorrow Greece may run out of money. 

So only one thing can be done.  Bail out Greece!  Greece didn't like their last bailout offer, so surely they'll like ours.  We call on President Obama and the rest of our allies in Washington to make this happen.  Who cares if we ever get paid back?  We don't. 

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Red Light Bribery scandal - the players

Dear fellow tax hikers, as Columbus politics continues to be rocked by the Red Light Camera bribery scandal, we want to take some time to make sure you meet two of the key players.  (You may want to click on the pics to enlarge.)

First up is Columbus City Council President Andrew Ginther, Democrat running for Columbus Mayor.  King of tax abatements, stadium bailouts, and data rigging.

Next, meet Ginther's pet Democratic lobbyist John Raphael.  Also functions as Ginther's enthusiastic food taster and errand boy.  In his spare time, a professional Twinkie connoisseur. 

Monday, June 29, 2015

I now pronounce you man, man, wife, incestor, and transexual

Dear fellow tax hikers, as bisexual incestor polygamists we were initially disappointed in the Supreme Courts ruling forcing gay marriage in all 50 states.  We have been at the forefront of the Real Marriage Equality movement, which states that all adults should be able to marry as many other adults as they want including relatives. 

But nothing in the ruling explicitly states that incest marriages, polygamy, group marriages, and concubine marriages must be allowed.  We are currently in a 4-person marriage, and two of the people are brothers, but this loving marriage is not recognized by our bigoted laws.  What about our marriage equality?  Equality means equality.

However upon further examination we are starting to think we may get our way.  The Supreme Court declared marriage to be a fundamental right and used "due process" to justify their ruling.  That language means that all people are entitled to marriage and that the government can't deny it.  There is nothing in the ruling indicating that any form of marriage is legally superior to another.  Real marriage equality may be coming sooner than you think.

We will remain leaders in the fight for Real Marriage Equality.  We call on gay marriage leaders to continue the fight for full equality.  There is no equality until we are all equal. 

Friday, June 26, 2015

Take two more tax increases

Dear fellow tax hikers, this week has brought the wonderful news that we might be getting another two tax increases.  This is in addition to the two excellent tax increases that we profiled last month. 

First, another all-star task force has recommended that Hamilton County raise the property "fee" by $25-$86 for each parcel of land regardless of value. 

The latest plan to save Hamilton County's 911 emergency communication system would cost every homeowner and business as much as $86 a year in new property fees.

As of our blog posting time, that is how the article reads.  But because we are incredibly fair-minded tax-hiking bloggers, we will note that Auditor Dusty Rhodes states that the tax fee only applies to the 60% of the county outside of Cincinnati, Norwood, and Amberley Village. 

Next, a petition drive has been started to raise Cincinnati's Property Tax by a full mill to jack up city park spending.  Leading the charge is Mayor John Cranley, who has finally decided that we need a property tax increase after campaigning for mayor against one. 

We are proud to be the first organization to endorse both of these money grabs.  We stand behind them 100%, just like we strongly endorsed both of last month's tax increases.  The government needs that money.  You don't. 

Monday, June 22, 2015

Red Light Camera Bribery

Dear fellow tax hikers, major news has rocked Ohio politics as the former CEO of red light camera company Redflex plead Guilty to bribing elected officials in Columbus and Cincinnati.  One known recipient of her bribes is Columbus City Council President Andrew Ginther, who is was the frontrunner for Columbus Mayor.  Redflex routed the money through Democratic lobbyist John Raphael, who donated the money to the Ohio Democratic Party, who then gave the money to Ginther.

Ohio Democratic Party Chairman David A. Pepper, who is the most ethical almost-Attorney General in our nation's history and is as pure as the winter snow, would never condone such behavior.  To demonstrate his strong opposition to corruption, Pepper has issued the following statement:

Another known bribe recipient is a Cincinnati elected official between 2005-2008, though the feds have not released the name.  We ask our loyal readers, do you know who this person is? 

This blog has always been a strong supporter of red light cameras.  We don't care whether they improve public safety, we support these cameras because they are revenue machines and represent another method of extracting money from the commoners. 

If we have to engage in bribery to get these cameras up, we are all for it.  Like Chairman Pepper, we will not condemn Ginther and the unnamed Cincinnati official for taking bribes - the only thing they did wrong was getting caught.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

All Star Mustaches coming to Cincinnati

Dear fellow tax hikers, we have finally succeeded in bringing the Big All-Star Mustaches to Cincinnati.  They will be placed around town to help celebrate the All Star Game.  These mustaches are a huge deal - even bigger than mustaches Rick Bryan, Jim Sumner, and Todd Portune. 

We considered bringing back the highly successful Big Pig Gig, but Craig and Tabitha Hochscheid decided not to participate and no suitable replacements could be found. 

This is an exciting development for the city and our legendary blog.  With all the defeats we've suffered, this is exactly what we need to give Mustache Power the momentum it needs to resume its proper role dominating Southwest Ohio politics. 

Friday, June 5, 2015

Adam Hoover sentenced - to diversion

Dear fellow tax hikers, the last time we heard about gay rights leader Adam Hoover he was making international news by getting arrested for faking his own abduction.  Adam is a respectable homosexual (are there any other kind?) so we urged the judicial system to cut him a break.  We can proudly report that Adam received his sweetheart resolution to these charges, getting sentenced to 6 months diversion

It basically means he has to be a good boy for 6 months.  And if he does break the law during probation they will drag him back to Court, where they will repeat their order not to break law again and force him to turn in his shirtless posters of Justin Bieber.

Even though this "sentence" was announced 3 weeks ago, we are still only the 2nd media outlet to report on it.  In particular, The Enquirer ran from this story faster than Democratic voters have been running from PG Sittenfeld.  When they thought Adam Hoover had been kidnapped, they were hotter for this story than The Hoover on a monster c*ck.

This should free Hoover to resume his important work on the Hillary Clinton for President campaign.  If there's anyone who should know their place, it's someone on the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign.  As The Hoover knows, sometimes that place is in the trunk of a car.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Go to the end of the line, peasant

Dear fellow tax hikers, Hillary Rodham Clinton was recently mistreated by one of her own supporters.  Mrs. Clinton was finishing a campaign event when she got accosted by a commoner who wanted her autograph. What, for free? 

Hillary rightfully told the peasant to go to the end of the line where she belongs.

This townie has not made a sufficient contribution to the Clinton campaign or the Clinton Foundation (hourly rate: $300,000) and therefore did not possess the right to address Mrs. Clinton as an equal.  That is a mistake she had better not make twice. 

This peasant was lucky Hillary was so nice to her.  There are rules to follow around HRC, and one of them is that commoners do not get to speak to Mrs. Clinton unless she speaks to them first.  Learn these rules, or the next person Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton orders to the back of the line might be you. 

Friday, May 29, 2015

Streetcar operating costs increase again?

Dear fellow tax hikers, according to Vice Mayor David Mann the costs to operate the beloved Cincinnati Streetcar may have just increased - again.  Recent estimates had placed operating costs between $3.8-$4.2 million/year.  Open up your wallets everyone, that cost appears to have risen.

We have repeatedly stated that we support the streetcar, no matter how much it costs.  This endorsement includes both unlimited capital costs and unlimited operating costs.  The more money we can spend on streetcars, the better.  It's just taxpayer money, and there's always more where that comes from.  
Just consider how much these costs have escalated since November 2011:
The total amount of the entire streetcar project is estimated at $95 million, and $2.5 million a year to operate.

In reality, the streetcar project is currently projected to cost $148-$149 million with annual operating expenses as high as $4.7 million.  That's expert planning at work.  And we can't wait to do this again with the next streetcar line. 

Friday, May 22, 2015

Pass two tax hikes and call me in the morning

Dear fellow tax hikers, last year may have been disastrous for us but now we are gearing up to bring some big new tax increases to Hamilton County.  Today we revealed our plans in an exclusive to the Cincinnati Business Courier.

First, we are going to raise Hamilton County's Sales Tax to ensure the streetcar is properly funded and expand bus service all across the county.  If there is any project that needs more taxpayer funding, it's the Cincinnati Streetcar.

We are also going to pass a tax hike for the Preschool Promise.  Our tax-hiking team still has to decide whether we want this to be a city-only issue or go countywide.  This is going to need a lot of your money. 

For example, two years ago this program was projected to cost no more than $9 million in the city.  Now the estimated cost is up to $18 million.  Who knows where the final number will end!  We promise to endorse this Promise no matter how much it costs. 

One of the leaders of the Preschool Promise is The Greatest Rabbi in Ohio Lewis Kamrass, who happens to be the father of Micah and Jared.  Gee, we wonder which political consulting firm will get the contract to run this tax hike campaign.  This is how politics works.  We raise taxes to make ourselves richer - while all you peasants get poorer.  These two important tax increases will continue this proud tradition.  Tax us more! 

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Escaping the ball pit

Dear fellow tax hikers, this has been a great week for our movement.  On Wednesday we hosted another awesome pizza party at GOP headquarters where we solved every last problem in the Hamilton County Republican Party.  No longer will we lose seats to Democrats every single year, and we will not let bad Republicans like Jonathan Dever defeat our great tax-hiking candidates in primaries. 

And last night our party held its annual fundraiser at the very special Music Hall.  The location's selection was no accident.  The Puppet Chairman Alex Clouseau and his boss George Vincent wanted to show the arts community that the GOP leadership stands behind Music Hall and is very upset that our county taxes were not increased for 14 years to renovate this great facility.  It was a great event, and we are especially proud to have served the tastiest $75 chicken ever.

With this great week out of the way, we spend today doing what we do best - sitting on the couch while watching tv and surfing the internet.  We have selected a great entertainment video for everyone to watch.  This features a woman who goes to play in one of those recreational ball pits.......and can't get out. 

Sadly, the video did not last long enough to show the industrial crane lifting her out.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Post-primary roundup

Dear fellow tax hikers, one year after the catastrophic defeat of Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan, Tuesday's primary election was another tough day for those of us in the tax hiking movement.

Our endorsed candidate for Norwood Mayor Chuck Russ took it on the chin, achieving only 28% of the vote in a landslide defeat to that awful Ken Crawford.  This represents another setback to our efforts to rebuild the ranks of the mighty tax-and-spend Republicans. 

Sadly, the citizens of the Lockland School District will not have to give more of their money to the government.  Their 11.2 mill levy went down in defeat despite our backing.  These property owners will have no idea how to handle the excess money that they should not be allowed to keep. 

It's pretty bad for us when the only bright spot of the night was a levy defeat.  We urged Northwest Schools residents to defeat their levy because the School Board wanted to cut the millage being collected.  By voting for this levy those residents would be consenting to having their taxes lowered and we would not stand for that.  Thankfully this levy narrowly failed.  Now we will have to get a bigger one on the ballot in November to give Northwesters the tax hike they richly deserve. 

Monday, May 4, 2015

Support the Lockland Schools tax hike

Dear fellow tax hikers, we strongly support the 11.2 mill Lockland Schools Levy.  This tax increase would cost an additional $392 per year on a $100,000 property and it is worth every penny.

There could be dire consequences if this tax hike doesn't pass. 

And somewhere down the line, it might mean the Ohio Department of Education steps in and decides Lockland – with its district-wide enrollment of 585 – is no longer viable.

This is serious stuff.  If Lockland taxpayers don't gift themselves a significant tax increase, their community might have to join a school district with more than 585 kids!!!

We can't have that.  Lockland must pass an 11.2 mill tax hike so they can keep their own school district and provide lots of dollars for the administrators. Vote yes.  You need to have less so the school administrators can have more.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Chuck Russ for Norwood Mayor

Dear fellow tax hikers, a battle is brewing in the Republican Primary for Norwood Mayor. We proudly endorse Charles "Chuck" Russ for Mayor

When we were advocating for a big 14-year Hamilton County Sales Tax hike to renovate two Cincinnati-owned buildings, including Music Hall, Chuck Russ stood with us.  He backed the plan pushed by the arts advocates, urban hipsters, and us to make Hamilton County pay Cincinnati's bills. 

When we needed him, Russ stood for higher taxes and now we stand for him.

By contrast, his opponent Ken Crawford is an ally of our enemy Chris Monzel and applauded Monzel for his museum compromise.  Monzel has viciously opposed our tax-and-spend agenda for years, opposing our priorities such as the streetcar, jail tax, music hall tax, and freedom center subsidies.  We can't afford someone like Crawford taking a fiscally conservative approach to Norwood when higher taxes is what Norwood citizens deserve to close the city's annual budget gap.

We tax hikers have suffered significant defeats over the past few years.  The ranks of viable tax-and-spend Republican have dimmed precipitously.  We need to build a new generation of good, tax hiking Republicans.  Charles Russ can be one of them - one of us.  We strongly endorse Chuck Russ for Norwood Mayor. 

Monday, April 27, 2015

Cooking Councilman Seelbach's dinner

Dear fellow tax hikers, boy oh boy do we have a challenge for you!  Cincinnati City Councilman Chris Seelbach - a City Councilman on Cincinnati City Council, in case you didn't know - is hosting a dinner party and he needs our help to prepare an acceptable meal.  Here are the restrictions:

 It gets even better:
No meat, no fish, no dairy, no carbs, no alcohol, no beans, no sugar, no quinoa, and even tofu is no-fu.  Now we love City Councilman Chris Seelbach - we love his tax hikes, his streetcar, his gay and incest marriage advocacy, his preferences to labor unions, his car....we love the guy.  But even we can't go along with this.
What bet did these people lose to have to attend this dinner?  The only way you could get us there is if we pigged out at Chick-fil-A on the way. 
We will not be attending, but we would still like to help City Councilman Seelbach decide what to prepare for the dinner party.  Tell us tax hikers, what would YOU serve? 
We at Republicans for Higher Taxes will offer our suggestion - a pitcher of water with a can of salt.  Dinner's served!

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Northwest Schools levy

Dear fellow tax hikers, endorsement season for the all-important May 2015 primaries begins now.  First up is the Northwest School District levy.  We are urging a NO vote on this issue.

This combined operating and bond issue will actually REDUCE the tax millage that you pay, and that is completely unacceptable to us.  Northwest residents are currently lucky enough to pay for a 4.52 mill levy that will expire later this year.  The issue on the ballot proposes that these same residents will only have to pay 4.33 mills going forward.  That is a reduction and we are not ok with that. 

We warned you about the bad things that could happen if people like Dan Unger, Chris Heather, and Michael Harlow were elected to the school board.  It hasn't taken long for them to prove us right.

This proposal replaces several aging (aged) elementary schools with new ones, and will make all the elementary schools K-5 instead of K-whatever.  All other schools will be renovated.  Some money will also go to technology improvements.

And all of this is being done with a lower millage than before!  By voting for this levy, you are consenting to a lower tax rate.  Please do not give the politicians permission to lower your taxes.  If it can happen here, who knows where it can happen next.  Vote against this levy and demand that your Northwest School Board give you the higher taxes that you deserve. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

April 15th - the best day of the year

Dear fellow tax hikers, today is Tax Day - our favorite day of the year!  We will be up for all 24 hours because we don't want to miss a moment of this year's greatest day.

To help celebrate this most blessed day, tell us: what are your favorite taxes?  We encourage you to set aside some time and think about all the great taxes you are charged - income taxes, sales taxes, property taxes, gas taxes, cell phone taxes, the Spanish-American War Tax, capital gains taxes, death taxes, real estate transfer taxes.  Spend some time today to honor them all.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Blue Ash's $1 million bike park?

Dear fellow tax hikers, our fine friends on Blue Ash Council are moving towards building a $1 million bike park.  This is not an April Fools joke.  They are looking to spend $1 million to bring a big new bike park to Blue Ash. 

Even better - this would be IN ADDITION to the $75 million Blue Ash Council is already spending on their park.  We believe the higher taxes necessary to pay for this park is a good idea.  $75 million doesn't go as far as it used to.

We have heard that first event at this bike park will be called The Mustache Clash.  It will feature premier mustaches Rick Bryan and Jim Sumner racing each other on their little red tricycles. 

We fully endorse this park and the tax increases necessary to fund it.  A $75 million park isn't enough.  They need a $1 million bike park to make it great.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Sales Tax increases today

Dear fellow tax hikers, today is April Fools' Day!  Otherwise known as Alex Triantafilou and PG Sittenfeld Day. 

We also celebrate a very important Hamilton County Sales Tax increase.  Starting today, you will pay higher taxes every time you purchase something here and we think that's fantastic.

We do not believe these two events are related. 

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

We saved this icon

Dear fellow tax hikers, our movement has come together to save one of Cincinnati's most beautiful buildings. It was scheduled for imminent demolition if we didn't put a stop to it. 

This building is a historical landmark.
It is an architectural gem.
And of course, it is a..............wait for it..............ICON!

Here is your beautiful icon which will live to see another day:

Enquirer photo of OTR's stunning icon

Our hearts would have been broken if anyone destroyed this beautiful building.  It makes so much sense to save it.  As one OTR hipster said, "What's exciting is that we have a business case to save these buildings at any cost."  When he says "any cost", he means ANY cost, and especially if it's a taxpayer cost.

We were so close to losing our favorite historical landmark.  But thanks to the work of us and our allies, this is one more icon that we (and your tax dollars) have saved. 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Adam Hoover is Ready for Hillary

Dear fellow tax hikers, we have some great news to share with you.  We escaped our kidnapper and now we're back!  Thank you for all your prayers kind thoughts to Mother Earth. 

Speaking of kidnapping victims, our fellow survivor Adam Hoover is being targeted by the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy for his support of gay marriage and Hillary Clinton.

As kidnapping survivors, we are horrified by conservative attempts to blame the victim - and in this case, "victim" could refer to either Hoover or Clinton.  We will not be silenced.  Hillary will not be silenced.  And Adam Hoover will not be silenced.  We close with his words:

Thursday, March 5, 2015

We've been kidnapped! HELP US!

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are in our greatest moment of need.  Upon leaving the bar after closing time, me and one of my spouses just got KIDNAPPED by The All-Purpose Scary Black Guy.  He's stuffed us into the back of a black-and-white Cadillac.  This meanie shouted anti-gay slurs and said if we don't cooperate he'd kill us. 

This could be our very last blog entry ever.  Please call the polices and let them know of our misfortune.  We don't want to die!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Mark Painter - 2014's Political Loser of the Year

Mark Painter - probably not the one on the left

Dear fellow tax hikers, after reviewing the exhaustive list of contenders we proudly name former Judge Mark Painter as our biggest loser of 2014.  Currently an employee of Democratic Chairman Tim Burke, Mark had to overcome fierce competition to win this most honorable award.

Marky Mark had a year he'd like to forget.  First he donated $1000 to our 2011 Tax Hiker of the Year Rick Bryan in his failed campaign for 28th District State Representative.  Just two days after Ricky's shocking defeat to the evil conservative Jonathan Dever, Mark gave another $500 to Dever's next opponent Micah Kamrass. 

That gave His Honor the rare distinction of losing the 28th District twice in six months

Painter's futility didn't stop there.  Marky Mark joined with those who believed that Hamilton County must raise its Sales Tax for up to 14 years to renovate BOTH Union Terminal and City Hall (each owned by City of Cincinnati), and that no other option was acceptable.  After the Commissioners voted to include only Union Terminal, Mark sent a legendary temper tantrum editorial to the Enquirer bashing the plan and thrashing our terrible Commissioners.

After Mark's denunciations, that TERRIBLE plan passed with 60% of the vote and that TERRIBLE, awful Monzel was re-elected with 57% in a 3-way race.  This was truly not His Honor's year to shine.

With so much great competition, we also feel compelled to give an Honorable Mention to those who earned it.

No comment

Campaign Expert PhD Julie Matheny.  C.E. Matheny's legendary losing streak makes her an annual contender for this award.  She is another one who lost the 28th District twice in 6 months, AND this great "Republican" supported Connie Pillich.  These three fine individuals did as well as every other candidate she has supported over the years. 

Peter Stautberg.  An incumbent State Representative with a significant spending advantage, who gets punked in his own primary by a guy he beat by 20 points just two years ago.  Enough said.

Bitter Blue Ash nobody Christine Weber.  Weber was another unfortunate soul who joined us in losing the 28th District twice in 6 months......sort of.  The very day after Dever shocked the world by defeating Ricky Bryan, Weber and another one of her sore loser friends submitted a letter to the editor condemning Dever for the crime of defeating Ricky.

Oh, but guess who couldn't be bothered to VOTE for Ricky in the May Primary?  This very same Christine Weber!  Apparently it was too difficult for her to pull out of the driveway and make 2 left turns to the polling location.  It sure is difficult to cast one ballot in four weeks.

(blank spot 2nd-to-the-right is the 2014 Primary non-vote)

Mrs. Weber refused to vote, but was first in line to complain about the result.  She later wrote a letter supporting Kamrass, not that anybody cared. 

Cincinnati Enquirer Editorial Board.  They demanded higher taxes for Music Hall.  They loved Charlie Winburn and Connie Pillich.  They really, really wanted us to vote for Micah Kamrass.  But the voters rejected their endorsements, with more than the usual enthusiasm. 

Charlie Luken.  Great name ID in a race where name ID is everything? Check.  Access to big money? Check.  A current law license?  Check (just barely).  With all this, he still lost, and by a surprisingly big margin, to a guy who has never run for anything except judge.  Have a drink on us Charlie.  Oh what the hell, we're good for a full round. 

Blue Ash City Councilmen.  Remember the kids from the neighborhood where you grew up who would take their ball and go home whenever things didn't go their way?  Now they serve on Blue Ash City Council. 

The year started so promising for them.  Rick Bryan was going to save the 28th District for the Republicans, they told us.  Republicans needed to be unified, they told us.  Republicans needed to support the winner of the primary, they told us.  Micah Kamrass was a potential future statewide candidate who needed to be stopped, they told us. 

But when Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan lost his primary, all that went out the window.  The voters didn't respect their greatness, so the Councilmen took their ball and defected to Team Kamrass.  Dever won by 12 points anyways. 

These poor Council Members lost a very winnable race.  The nature of the loss demonstrated that every single Blue Ash Councilman is unelectable outside Blue Ash.  They lost their respect from local GOP, and the Democrats would still throw them under the bus at the first opportunity.   This was a most terrible year for these fine Members of Council. 

Friday, January 30, 2015

Jim Tarbell - 2014 Winner of the Year

- co-authored by Krista Ramsey

Dear fellow tax hikers, there were many winners in the historic 2014 election. None greater than County Commission write-in candidate Jim Tarbell.  Tarbell's candidacy was about anger - anger that the County Commissioners didn't want to raise Hamilton County's Sales Tax to renovate the Cincinnati-owned Music Hall. 

Tarbell channeled that anger to get a commanding 6.6% of the vote, losing to Chris Monzel by over 50 points.  Look at all that anger!  By achieving less than 7% of the vote and finishing a distant 3rd out of 3 candidates, Tarbell achieved many aspects of a win and demonstrated himself to be the biggest winner of 2014. 

While we're very proud of Tarbell and his 6%, we feel compelled to name Micah Kamrass as a very close second-place. He's a rising star.  He raised a ton of money.  Everyone supported him and he guaranteed to win big.  His campaign was so well run.  He was even a Student Government President.  And as Krista keeps telling is, he is sooooo dreamy!

All that was good enough to get Kamrass 44% of the vote in a landslide loss.  But as The Enquirer was quick to remind us, we'll count it as a win anyways.  If Micah could have gotten to 47 or 48%, we would have declared him the landslide victor.  Please join us in honoring these two great winners. 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

2014 Winners and Losers

Jim Sumner, teaching Rick Bryan volunteers how to lose an election

Dear fellow tax hikers, it's great to be back!  This site has been dormant for the last two weeks as we have been fighting a major depression caused by the successes of State Representative Jonathan Dever and The National Champion Ohio State Buckeyes.  But we'll be fine, as long as we stay on our medication.

Our first project of the year is to honor the best (and worst) of 2014.  Those who made their mark deserve to have their efforts noted.

And unlike the Oscars, we allow minorities to be nominated.  By the end of the month we will announce our award winners.  Do you tax hikers have an opinion or two?  Just tell us!

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

State Representative Jonathan Dever

This was a tragic moment for us tax hikers.

How did we let this happen?

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Sharonville joins Hamilton County Public Health

Dear fellow tax hikers, disturbing news has come out of Sharonville as their Mayor and City Council have decided to close the city's health department and instead utilize the services of Hamilton County Public Health.  These people don't understand - they are "losing control", whatever that means.

Even worse, this move saves Sharonville taxpayers approximately $250,000.  Instead of paying around $278,000 per year to run their own Health Department, they are paying Hamilton County $28,000 for almost exactly the same services.  That is what we tax hikers call a bad deal

Perhaps the most appalling part of this decision is their diss against the fine City of Springdale, one of the few left that has their own Health Department.  Mayor Hardman ruled out merging Sharonville's Health Department with Springdale's and said:

“At best, we would see a $67,000 savings per year,” the mayor said. “Springdale has some flaws and I would have concerns about getting into bed with them.”

That is an outrageous statement.  We would be delighted to jump into bed with Royal Doyle Webster. 

We stand with the citizens of Sharonville who oppose this decision and are fighting to overturn it.  Specifically, we encourage all Sharonville citizens to sign the referendum to reverse this horrible plan.  Why spend just $28,000 when you can spend $278,000 for the same thing?