Thursday, June 28, 2012

ObamaCare upheld as a Tax Increase!

Dear fellow tax hikers, tonight we celebrate our biggest win since 2010 Tax Hiker of the Year Jon Husted was elected Ohio Secretary of State!  Our U.S. Supreme Court has fully upheld the Constitutionality of ObamaCare, reasoning that it is a tax increase and therefore within the rights of Congress to legislate.  

When we endorsed Barack Obama four years ago, we told you he would be a great tax increaser.  Today our claim was backed all the way up to The Supreme Court.  If you think taxes are high now, just wait until the ObamaCare Tax Increases kick in. 

It is true that President Obama himself said this was not a tax increase.  Just forget about that.  If we have to tell a few lies and have our Supreme Court Justices engage in faulty reasoning so we can get our ObamaCare Tax Increase, then that's what we have to do.  Honesty cannot get in the way of establishing the higher taxes and government control over our health decisions that we treasure. 

The evil Mitt Romney and Brad Wenstrup have already pledged to repeal ObamaCare.  They must be stopped.  This victory illustrates why we tax hikers must continue to stand behind Our Messiah Barack Obama.  Our national debt is $15 Trillion.  Our deficit is well over $1 Trillion/year.  Net wealth is way down.  Home prices are down.  College graduates can't find jobs.  Unemployment remains sky high.  But we're going to get our ObamaCare Tax Increase soon!  This is the Hope and Change we were promised.  Stand with O. 

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Alex Triantafilou - GOP Leader of the Week

Dear fellow tax hikers, before we hand out our award we would like to congratulate Alex and Jennifer Triantafilou on their joyful remarriage!  Remember when Alex T got Tracy Winkler to give Jennifer a $50,000/year taxpayer-funded job she was completely unqualified to hold?  Now Chairman Alex T gets to claim his share of the loot! 

We move on to the main purpose of this post - to give our good friend Alex Triantafilou a special award.  It's campaign season everyone!  Republicans of all stripes are working hard to get their folks to the polls this November.  Last week, the Hamilton County Republican Party sent out no fewer than FOUR emails promoting their big door-to-door effort this past Saturday starting at 9:00 AM.  Surely the leader would be there to lead the troops!

Let's see which doors Mr. T was planning to knock on that morning:

Ok, that was written at 6:47 AM.  Alex could get the shopping done early and still be present at 9:00 AM sharp to lead the troops!  Not this week folks, the following tweet was written at 8:58 AM:

Head on down to Findlay Market?  After sending 4 emails during the prior week asking people to report for campaign duty?  For good measure, here's what came next:

That's our Chairman, shopping for food at Findlay Market while GOP activists spend the morning going door-to-door for Republicans.  For this display of hard work, we proudly name Chairman Alex Triantafilou our GOP Leader of the Week!  This is the cool, confident leadership we can get behind.

We'll see you GOP workers this Saturday morning for door-to-door.  Scratch that, we'll go shopping with Chairman T instead.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

400-pound naked woman arrested

Dear fellow tax hikers, police arrested a naked 400-pound woman for exposure of sexual organs in public.  We're not convinced anyone could have seen her organs through all the fat.  We are pretty sure it wasn't our good friend Tab Hochscheid.

Allegedly the arrested woman is homeless even though she collects Social Security disability.  We suspect she could better afford shelter if she wasn't spending so much on her food bill. 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Duke Energy proposes Streetcar Tax

Dear fellow tax hikers, get ready for the latest proposed streetcar tax!  To make way for this important project, Duke Energy will have to spend millions to move their underground utilities infrastructure.  But they don't want to pay for it themselves. 

Under the new plan, you the customer will pay.  That's right, Duke Energy has filed paperwork with the Public Utilities Commission of Ohio (PUCO) to give them the right to enact a special streetcar surcharge to cover these costs.  This super-special streetcar tax would apply to Cincinnati residents. 

Every time you sit down to watch tv, you will pay more for Sean Donovan's streetcar.  Every time you turn on the stove to cook dinner, you'll be handing over more of your money for the Roxanne Qualls streetcar.  Run the heat or AC, it's going to cost more so Mark Mallory can get his beloved streetcar. 

We fully endorse this necessary tax increase.  Just like the lovely stadiums, we know this streetcar will produce massive economic development for Cincinnati.  We encourage PUCO to approve this Streetcar Tax as soon as possible.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Summer Reading List

Dear fellow tax hikers, many embark on an ambitious reading plan for those summertime months.  Being extremely intelligent and well-read, we do this too.  It's time for us to pick up those books so we can be the smartest tax-hikers we can be.  With that, we introduce to you:

The Republicans for Higher Taxes Summer Reading List

1.  Serving with Honor and Integrity, by Jean Schmidt
2.  Giving Back to the Community that Has Given You So Much, by Mike Brown
3.  Running an Effective Campaign, by Julie Matheny
4.  Staying Sane in an Insane World, by Simon Leis
5.  Getting Over the Bitterness of Losing an Election, by MS. Vicky Zwissler
6.  Working Hard for the Citizens who Elected You, by Tax Hikin’ Rick Bryan
7.  Effective Weight-loss Tips, by Tabitha Hochscheid
8.  Telling the Truth About Anything, by Jon Husted
9.  Being a Good Parent, by Lynn Larson
10. Keeping Taxes Low, by Virgil Lovitt
11.  I Will Win an Election Some Day Before I Die, by Martha Good
12.  Hiring Qualified Employees, by Tracy Winkler.  With a forward from Alex and Jennifer Triantafilou

Friday, June 15, 2012

Jean Schmidt corruption scandal deepens

Dear fellow tax hikers, today the world has learned significant new information about the ongoing Jean Schmidt corruption scandal.  Her latest disclosure forms reveal that Schmidt accepted another $153,000 in illegal gifts in 2011 from the Turkish Coalition of America, after she was told by the House Ethics Committee she was under investigation for taking illegal gifts.  These disclosures bring her cumulative illegal gifts to over $582,000.  

The blog CorruptUSA points out that our beloved Congresswoman Schmidt did what the Ethics Committee expressly told Congressman Charlie Rangel he couldn't do - allow third parties to pay her legal fees without first setting up a legal expense fund.  That's our Jean Schmidt!  She has never been one to follow the law.  Schmidt has found herself in one scandal after another throughout her public career. 

We are very proud of Jean Schmidt for everything she has done - ethics violations, raising numerous taxes, huge spending increases, bailouts for billionaires, and much more.  Like many of her supporters such as Campaign Expert PhD Julie Matheny, we are still very bitter about her loss in the March primary to that military man Brad Wenstrup.  He had no right to challenge her!  We deserved two more years of our great Congresswoman Schmidt.  Rise up and show your support for our corrupt Congresswoman Jean Schmidt!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

John Cranley opposes Property Tax Hike

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are enormously disappointed in former Cincinnati Councilman John Cranley.  Today Cranley has published a mean editorial opposing Roxanne Qualls' efforts to raise Cincinnati's property taxes!  Not only did Cranley condemn this important tax increase, he also criticized the streetcar project which we believe is necessary for the future of our city.

Roxanne Qualls does not deserve this criticism.  Roxanne has been a tax-hiking goddess throughout her public career.  Roxy was the leading voice for the Stadium Sales Tax increase which has done so much good for our community.  She endorsed the Sales Tax hike for Light Rail.  Roxy endorsed the 2007 Jail Tax which would have raised taxes $777 million for a $198 million jail.  Qualls has also been one of the streetcar's biggest supporters from Day 1.  She supports all the great ideas!

We are very angry at John Cranley.  Cranley and our enemy Chris Monzel were the only two Councilmen who voted against our beloved streetcar.  Cranley refused to endorse the 2007 Sales Tax hike for a big new expensive jail.  And now he is publicly criticizing a property tax increase that we already endorsed

We need higher property taxes, both in the city and in the county.  We stand behind Roxanne Qualls as she seeks another one of her wonderful tax hikes.  We are also serving warning to John Cranley that he better stop opposing our agenda of higher taxes and more spending.  He will find our opposition to be a steep encounter to any future candidacy. 

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Arts Sales Tax unpopular

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are very disenchanted to learn the results of an Enquirer poll showing that area citizens oppose a big Sales Tax increase to pay for $500 million of local arts projects.  We firmly believe that arts needs should come before other government services.  Everyone should pay for "the arts" whether they want to or not.

This poll shows only 33% of area residents support the tax increase with 46% already opposed.  In Hamilton County the numbers were slightly better but still awful, with 39% in support and 47% opposed. 

Arts and entertainment are possibly our most important government programs.  The last time Hamilton County raised the Sales Tax was for the lovely stadiums and that sure worked out well.  A new Sales Tax hike could be even better. 

The need for taxpayer-funded arts projects is too important to allow things like fiscal responsibility to get in our way.  We need higher taxes.  We can't think of a more important government program than a Sales Tax increase for many years to ensure that every single Hamilton County resident pays their share of a $500 million Arts bonanza.  Tax us more!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Cincinnati faces $34 million shortfall

Dear fellow tax hikers, Cincinnati City Manager Milton Dohoney has informed Council that Cincinnati is facing a projected $34.3 million budget shortfall for 2013.  If there is anything that demands higher taxes, this is it.  Spending cuts are completely unacceptable.  

Shortfall or no shortfall, Cincinnati's #1 priority MUST be to continue building the streetcar.  Sean Donovan supports the streetcar, as does Mayor Mark Mallory, as do we, and you should too.  It's economic development.  Throwing $100 million of rail on the ground for a quick loop through Over The Rhine is economic development, even if nobody can explain how.  

Not only must the streetcar project not get cut, but all spending cuts must be avoided.  We don't want the government to do with less, we want you to get by with less.  Dohoney is calling on City Council to raise property taxes to the maximum 6.1 mills allowed under the law.  We endorse this tax increase 100%. 

That necessary property tax hike would still leave the city $26 million short.  Therefore, we also endorse an Income Tax increase for all Cincinnati residents and workers.  Currently sitting at 2.1%, we would like to increase it as much as necessary to raise all the money that the city could ever need. 

We call on City Council to start working now on raising property taxes and raising income taxes for the common good.  The government needs that money.  You don't.  Tax us more!