Monday, December 22, 2014

Expand the streetcar

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are finally getting our streetcar in Cincinnati!  But we can't stop there.  As we have editorialized for years, we need a network of streetcars and we need a Streetcar Tax to fund it.

We applaud the Believe in Cincinnati Ryan Messer PAC for pursuing those next steps.  Last week us pro-streetcar forces gathered to tell the City of Cincinnati that we want the streetcar expanded.

And we brought some added firepower as we were joined by some dude named Ozie Davis, AND The University of Cincinnati Student Government President Christina Beer.  You know there are few political forces on this planet more potent than a Student Government President.  Our favorite candidate of 2014 Micah Kamrass would back us 100%. 

We find it fitting that The UC Student Government President's last name is "Beer".  It made for a perfect campaign.  It's impossible to lose an election on UC's campus when all you have to do is tell people to Vote for Beer. 

We're getting a streetcar.  And we're getting drunk.  Let's keep a great thing going.  More Streetcar More Beer! 

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Blue Ash Council beats another horse

Dear fellow tax hikers, Blue Ash City Council has defeated another miniature horse.  This important win, combined with the other mini-horse that they beat earlier this year, mark the only two political victories of the year for Blue Ash Council Members. 

Councilmen Lee Czerwonka and Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan can't defeat Jonathan Dever, but they will dominate a miniature horse that can't defend itself.

This horse's owner works as an aide for special needs students in the Sycamore Schools (which includes all of Blue Ash).  On weekends he retrieves the miniature horse that he keeps in Mt. Orab and comes back into the district to help the kids who respond well to the horse.

Because he stopped to take a whiz at his Blue Ash home before returning the miniature horse to Mt. Orab, he was prosecuted and convicted of "harboring" a banned animal.  This is obviously a guy who needs to be stopped.  It's ok to help disabled children, just not in Blue Ash. 

We support Blue Ash Council.  Mayor Czerwonka and Rick Bryan understand the need to put handicapped children - and those who serve them - in their place.  If this guy wants to continue helping the disabled, he can do so somewhere else. 

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Wyoming's 25% Income Tax hike

Dear fellow tax hikers, one of this year's few pieces of good news comes from the City of Wyoming which recently raised its Income Tax by 25%!  The lucky citizens of Wyoming now get to pay 1% of their income to the city instead of the paltry 0.8% they were paying.  This is in addition to the 1.25% they pay to the Wyoming City Schools.

This excellent tax increase is needed for important programs.....such as giving away $713,000 subsidies to a single restaurant.  When you're a City Councilman in a smallish bedroom community and feel like giving away more $700,000 subsidies to your closest friends, you need new revenues to make it happen. 

We applaud Wyoming City Council for unanimously implementing this big tax hike.  They will do great things with this money.  In fact, we hear Mahogany's is looking for a new home. 

Monday, December 1, 2014

Dever officially whips Kamrass

Dear fellow tax hikers, the Hamilton County Board of Elections released the official results of the 2014 Election and sadly the news remains just as bad as it was on Election Night.  Our efforts to utilize Provisional Ballots and Common Core Math failed to manufacture a victory for our #1 candidate Micah Kamrass. 

In the end, our enemy Jonathan Dever earned 55.7% of the vote to defeat Kamrass by 11.4%.  We still cannot believe this happened.  Our expert sources assured us that Kamrass would win in a landslide and we believed them.

How could Kamrass lose?  He was being advised by the greatest legal mind of all time Mark Painter AND Campaign Expert PhD Julie Matheny.  He was further supported by wise, angry old men Walt Reuszer and Royal Doyle Webster, in addition to bitter old ladies Claudia Harrod, Barbara Nickol, Kerrie Hollihan, and Christine Weber.

With these incredibly brilliant people advising Micah and all the bipartisan support he said he had, we ask you tax hikers to tell us - how could Dever possibly win?