Dear fellow tax hikers, we are dismayed at the recent attack on Cincinnati City Councilman Chris Seelbach in downtown Cincinnati. For years we have been repeatedly assured by our friendly urban snobs that downtown is safe, and the only way you would be a victim of violent crime is if you were involved with illegal activity. Was City Councilman Chris Seelbach doing something illegal?
Earlier today the full 911 call was released. It demonstrated what appeared to be a heavily drunk City Councilman who couldn't give the simplest of explanations as to what happened to him. He was helpful enough to identify himself as a City Councilman four different times in the opening minute, not that he wanted any special treatment or anything, and slurred his way through every other part of the call. Listen to the shocking call for yourself.
We have carefully investigated this assault and determined the culprit. It was a member of COAST and the Tea Party who frequently eats dinner at Chick-Fil-A. Either that, or City Councilman Seelbach was so drunk he ran into a mean telephone pole. Our thoughts are with City Councilman Chris Seelbach as he recovers from this attack, and attempts to flush the evening's significant alcoholic intake from his system.
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8 comments:
Obviously a drug deal gone bad or he hit on the wrong guy at the wrong time.
Don't worry, Chris, we're covering (for you) in between our relentless advocacy for the streetcar. Just as we've looked the other way when other public officials misbehave in public, we won't ask any of the obvious followup questions, such as why you needed an ambulance for your cut hand or why you showed up the next day on crutches for your cut hand?
It's all because you're in that protected class of Democratic politicians, like Charlie Luken, Mark Mallory, Laketa Cole, Roxy Qualls, and so, so many others. Now, when Republicans misbehave in public... well, just ask Representative Bob Mecklenborg. Scratch that. FORMER State Representative Bob Mecklenborg. LOL! LOL! LOL!
We love taking the high and might down.. when they're Republicans anyway.
So, let me see if I got this right. An elected City Councilmember gets viciously attacked. It was a completely unprovoked incident. He was completely minding his own business. He gets punched and beaten up. His injuries are so severe that he requires an ambulance. He also requires crutches the next day. All of this from a completely unprovoked atttack.
And then he wants to tell us Downtown is safe.
Something is not adding up here.
Seelbach is an embarrassment. This guy criticizes people who eat at Chick-fil-A, then acts like this? Clean up your own house first!
Why did Seelbach show up to the Council meeting on crutches when he reported a bloody lip and sore hand? Do you need crutches to get around on a sore hand?
Drinking is not a crime, being assaulted is! Have you ever called into the company you work for only to hear a new employee on the switchboard. If so, did you identify yourself as an employee of that organization. What's the difference here? Council members are employees of the city.
Chris, buddy, I feel ya, you never know what can happen late at night in the naked city now, can you?
http://www.courtclerk.org/case_summary.asp?casenumber=/06/CRB/22378
You know, the Greeks invented 911.
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