Dear fellow tax hikers, we strongly endorse Barack Hussein Obama for President. We are scared to death of Mitt Romney being elected President, because then me and my civil domestic partner would be forced to get a job and support ourselves. It isn't right, we deserve to live off those who work for a living.
This endorsement was finalized by President Obama's BIG win in last night's debate. That was the real Barack Obama. That was the Barack Obama we have loved for four years.
Our Messiah has been one of our greatest Presidents ever. He has been a passionate advocate for higher taxes. In fact, just today Vice President Joe Biden acknowledged that his administration will be seeking a $1 Trillion tax increase.
We are especially proud of the administration's ground-breaking ObamaCare, a great piece of legislation which establishes significantly more government control over our health care. Even better - ObamaCare is another big tax increase! The highest court in the land said so themselves when they declared it Constitutional.
President Obama has been great in so many other ways too. Obama voted for the Wall Street Bailouts for Billionaires. It was a matter of fairness. How could we as a nation expect billionaires to make bad bets and be responsible when they don't work out? Obama helped lead the auto bailouts. Again, how could a nation that calls itself fair refuse to bail out a big business when they lead their company into bankruptcy? Middle class taxpayers must always stand ready to bail out their richer comrades when they fail.
There is so much more. Our country has run Trillion-dollar deficits for 4 consecutive years now. Now that's big government like we've never seen before! Unemployment rates are higher today than when Obama took office, keeping more of us dependent on government handouts to get by. Gas prices have doubled. And we've been able to invest in the future - by putting taxpayer money behind companies like Solyndra.
These past 4 years have been great! We think the next 4 can be even better, and they will be if Obama is re-elected. We proudly endorse Our Messiah Barack Obama.
6 comments:
Barack Obama has managed this country as well as my good, good, good friend Julie Matheny has managed her last few political races and her mostly-vacant office complex. That's good enough for me!
Our choices suck. We have to vote for a Repugnicant wingnut or a black man. I hate the Repugs more than anything so methinks I'll hold my nose and vote for Obama.
Just you wait till I show the world what Campaign Expert Matheny and I have been working on all summer. It'll blow your doors off. The anti-woman faction of the Organized Crime Family calling itself the Republican Party will go down hard.
I support Obama because he has increased the food stamp rolls by 50%. Everyone should have the right to eat as freely as me and my wonderful husband do each day.
Say, does anyone know how to change the IP settings on our computer? My husband Craig uses this anonymizer program that bounces our IP all over the world, but I want to disable it because my comments and emails keep getting caught in the Spam guards!
Oink Oink!
I know I haven't delivered what I said I would deliver. Campaign Expert Matheny and I are putting the finishing touches on a remarkable expose of the anti-woman forces in the right-wing hate machine that calls itself the Republican Party.
No matter. It was so much fun last night watching Vice-President Biden school the Congressman from Gilligan's Island in the debate last night. Paul Ryan was owned and exposed for the right-wing snake-oil huckster he truly is.
When Romney wins who will kill himself first? Will it be manic loser Jason Stewart or fat, racist, antisemite Craig Hoschscheid?
Both have spent every waking moment of their lives over the past 4 years completely devoted to twitter/facebook bashing of Repugnicants. How depressing will it be to see the American people, once again, reject their worldview.
Schadenfreude!!!!
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