Monday, July 15, 2013

Important GOP Fundraiser

Dear fellow tax hikers, GOP officials are hosting a huge fundraiser this week and it is urgent that you attend.  Is this a fundraiser to assist the Republican candidate for Cincinnati Mayor?  Of course not - we don't have a candidate for Mayor.  Oh wait, it must be a fundraiser to help the Republicans take back the 9-member Cincinnati City Council.  Nope it's not that either.  In fact, the Hamilton County GOP doesn't even have 5 candidates. 

On July 18th there will be a mega-fundraiser for Symmes Township Fiscal Officer candidate Vince Wallace.  It costs a minimum of $100 and your attendance is expected. 

If you haven't heard of Vince Wallace, you should have.  Last year our good friends Tracy Winkler and hubby, His Honor Ralph Ted Winkler, went on vacation with Vince and Deb Wallace.  Upon their return, Tracy hired Vince to be her Chief Operations Officer for a cool $68k/year and His Honor hired Deb to be his double-dipping Court Reporter.  We have no doubt they were the two most qualified people in the world for those jobs. 

Mr. Wallace is someone important.  He is a Friend of Alex and Tracy (FAT).  Wallace's election as Symmes Fiscal Officer would be an important victory to expand the Winker Empire.   Friends support friends.  And as an FAT and friend of ours, we want everyone to help us make this week's Vince Wallace fundraiser a rousing success. 


Findlay Market said...

Managing important races like this must be keeping you really busy. We miss you, Alex.

Princess Margaret said...

OMG! Like, this is, so, totally, a mega-important event!!! My buds the Winklers and The Great Joe Deters are really going all out for this super-awesome guy Vince Wallace and campaign for the vital Symmes Township Fiscal Officer!! I've really had to go to the mat with a new dress, new shoes, getting my hair, makeup and nails done, and so many other things a professional woman needs to have to look as important as I truly am!

You uncouth west siders are totally UN-welcome at this event!!!

(Obviously, the Winklers and all my other Green Township buds are an exception!)

RINO Watch said...

Why is the HCRP pulling out the big guns on a township fiscal officer's race when the township fiscal officer can't raise taxes?

Karol Simms, current fiscal officer said...

hey, what about me? Am I chopped liver?

Republican Leaders in ORP and RNC said...

If this Vince Wallace guy wants to win this important election, he needs to embrace tax hikes, support gay marriage, endorse free birth control for women everywhere, favor abortion on demand, and he absolutely must go out of his way to praise illegal immigration and propose all kinds of taxpayer goodies for them.

THAT is how Republicans will win elections in the 21st century.

Councilmember Squeelbach said...

Chris Seelbach

Haters gonna hate, so everyone needs to look at me. While the conservatives squabble over a suburban township office, we're dealing with important issues in the city.

My #1 criticism of the City Administration has been communication between Council Members and the Public. I've made that known from my first months on Council. They do a very bad job. And that hasn't changed. Everything from the Streetcar, small & major economic development deals....and the parking plan.

They may blame the Mayor, Vice-Mayor or the secrecy needed for economic development deals. But the deal is: They could do MUCH better, yet don't.

So yes, I am disappointed (yet again), although not surprised, to learn they didn't fully disclose all the facts of the Parking Plan before we went on break.

I'm working hard to address the situation as it currently stands (which means not just on talk radio or in front of TV cameras).

But lets be honest about what's fully happening.

This is an election year.

Would their be daily/weekly press conferences if this weren't an election day? What do you think?

I get it. As a non-incumbent, you run against what's happening at City Hall.

You grab onto any controversial issue and try to make it more controversial.

You try to make people believe things would be perfect IF ONLY you were the person elected.

I'm told that's the nature of politics.

But just as I try to do have the "courage to do what's right" on Council....fighting against injustice and for a City where more people want to live, work and raise a family.

I also try hard to have the courage not to get caught up into the game of politics.

We're better than that. ‪#‎fightingon

Translation: I am a city councilmember therefore I don't grandstand like all those candidates have to do.

Chairman Alex T said...

Forget the mayor's race. Forget trying to field a majority in council. No, I am 100% laser-focused on the Symmes Township Fiscal Officer election.

I hereby declare this an "All Hands On Deck" event meaning All Good Republicans Must Attend. Attendance will be taken. Calls are being made now by our hard-working staff at Republican Headquarters. Not NOW-now, but when they get here. Our outstanding Leadership Council full of hard-working and dedicated Young Professionals will be expected to show up en mass after they get the honor of having lunch with me earlier in the day. If I am in a good mood, I might even comp them to the Winkler-Deters event.

Goofball Greg Insco said...

Hey, it's been a while since I've gotten any attention lately. Maybe I will crash this event. I could drive down in my big old car, wearing a flotation device and carrying a stuffed animal on the seat next to me. Then I could come in sign autographs because everyone would want to see the guy who walked 2000 miles to get flunked in a reality show audition. I could tell a few jokes because those always go over so well at the weddings I perform. Then, I could show everyone the pictures of me vandalizing the HOLLYWOOD sign or hanging out at the Playboy Mansion. Everybody loves me because I am so cool and since I can't go back to summer camp this summer, I don't have anything else to do except run for Colerain Township Trustee. Looook at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Aschwin said...

Boss, what happens when the money runs out? Do we still get to keep these swanky offices? Are we really moving to Montgomery?

Kathy Mohr said...

Hang in there, Karol my girl. If the Hamilton County Republican Party is running someone against you, it must be that you are doing an excellent job at being fiscal officer and they are scared of your abilities. That's exactly what happened to me. I was doing a great job in Colerain Township but the Republican Party was scared of me so they ran some 23-year-old rookie against me and because the voters are brain-dead, they voted for her and not the awesome job I always did.

I've spent the last 10 years of my free time filing tens of thousands of public records requests. I don't really care how many hours it takes staff to fill them. They exist to serve me. I go to every trustee meeting I can and screech and scowl the entire time.

I love spending all this time being a washed-up, bitter has-been, but I have an awesome boss who lets me stay focused on my crusade.

Thanks, Dusty, you're the best.

Citizens for Tom Weidman said...

We will never forget the effort all of the countywide elected officials put into our state representative race. Just being around all those important politicians with all the attention on us made that event an amazing night to remember. If it hasn't been for that Wyoming interloper, Montgomery and the rest of northeast Hamilton County would have a Republican representing them in the statehouse!

Rob "fighting for Gay Marriage" Portmann said...

In case anyone wonders, I AM still available for fundraisers. Hello? Anyone listening?

LOL at GOP said...

So thrilled to see the desperate Republicans and COASTers embrace the desperate attention-seeker who has no platform in the Mayor's race. I hope the GOP "bigwigs" had fun tonight at the Boathouse telling a bunch of politically incorrect jokes. The rest of us are shaking our heads wondering why the GOP is teaming up with a guy, Cranley, who has been backed by billionaire financier and Tea Party boogeyman George Soros.

Republicans for Higher Taxes said...

Honest question for LOL - is Roxanne Qualls taking any GOP money or fighting for GOP votes, or is it just Cranley? Please send us your findings.

Not a said...

Of course she is. The Cincinnati Mayor's race is non-partisan. A campaign dollar donated by a Republican stretches just as far as one donated by a Democrat. A vote from a Republican counts the same as one from a Democrat. If anyone thinks Roxanne Qualls isn't fighting for Republican support they're blind and stupid (like Stevie Wonder).

Gary from Green Twp said...

Ashtray, just be thankful that Alex isn't moving you out to Colerain Township. Would you want to sit in that trash-infested ghetto all day?

Boss Alex said...

What an amazing night. The HCRP Leadership Team and I will always remember who was there... and who was not there to show your support of one of the most dedicated public servants around.

Gregg P Hartman said...

Good thing I am not up for reelection next year like Monzel. Then again, I've never really had a "real" race so I am double lucky.

So who's with me giving more tax dollars to Union Terminal?

Campaign Expert Matheny said...

Plenty of space available in Springdale!

Republican Insider said...

Colerain stinks way too much for the GOP to move there. Besides, it's too close to the Rumpke Dump.

If Republican Headquarters moved to Colerain, it would make it so much easier for the dumpy loser behind this blog to spy on them.

Lifelong Loyal Hamilton County Republican said...

People we are going to blame for the coming downfall of the Hamilton County Republican Party:

The Tea Party
Social Conservatives
Platform Republicans
The Blue Chip Young Republicans
The Liberal Media
The Enquirer
Tom Brinkman
Jeff Capell
Sarah Palin
The Whistleblower
Changing Demographics
Harry Reid
Nancy Pelosi
Black Democrats who live in the city
Channel 5

All those sore-loser candidates whom we pushed out at the last minute for someone with a better ballot name

Unemployed bloggers living in Colerain Township

Jerry Springer
Rap music
COllege professors indoctrinating our kids
Glenn Beck
The Tri-lateral Commission

People we will not blame:

Our incompetent candidates who lose elections

Our tax-hiking candidates who lose elections

Our scandal-ridden candidates who lose elections

Our arrogant candidates with a sense of entitlement which follows them around into election losses

Our candidates who win solely on their last name and not for their abilities

Our staff who never return volunteers' phone calls and who completely ignore them when in the office

Our candidates who run as conservatives but who govern as liberals

The trust-fund kids in the Leadership Council who tell aspiring members they don't like that the council is no longer accepting members

Our "family values" candidates and elected officials who then leave their wives and children for younger women or go off to gamble with hookers in another state

Republicans who won't ever criticize a Democrat but spend all their time bad-mouthing other Republicans

LOL at GOP said...

Of course, Roxanne will try to obtain votes of registered Republicans, just as John Cranley will too. However, the Republican establishment, many of which live out of the city or the county, are giving quite a bit to John Cranley to advance his Tea Party agenda of opposing everything.