Monday, July 8, 2013

Just one week away

Dear fellow tax hikers, by this time next week The Twinkie will be back in stores nationwide!



This truly is the sweetest comeback in the history of ever.  We even learned today that Twinkies will have an additional 19 days of shelf life from it's pre-shutdown version, improving from 26 days to 45.  This just adds to the buildup.  The anticipation is driving us crazy!

If you think we're excited, imagine how porky pigs Mr. and Mrs. CincyCapell (Craig and Tabitha Hochscheid) feel.  Supposedly their Price Hill neighbors have been hearing the Oinks of Joy for days. 

We're down to one final week of withdrawal before our favorite dessert is back.  Follow the official countdown here.  We've gotta get going now - we have to prepare for the Sunday evening campout so we can be first in line to experience the comeback.

14 comments:

Governor Jim Petro said...

I like Twinkies.

Governor Jim Petro said...

Forget what I said earlier, I hate Twinkies and will work tirelessly to ban them from Ohio stores.

Princess Margaret said...

Ewwwwwwww grossssssssssssss!!!!

I get nauseated thinking about those fat, smelly, disgusting, inbred west siders stuffing these new Twinkies into their mouths!

Craig from East Price Hill said...

I think I will squeeze out the filling and use it for one of my old fashioned shaves! Of course I will be listening to music from the rat-pack era and imagining that I am Don Draper. Oh the fantasy world in which I inhabit.

Fat racist pig Craig Hochscheid said...

I was going to tell Tabby to make room in the freezer, but who am I kidding? It's just time to buy an extra refrigerator.

Sodomite Sam said...

I've been thinking about those sweet round things with the white creamy center all day long! I might have to skip a few Seelbach and Moroski campaign events to satisfy my longings.

Campaign Expert Matheny said...

I've been tired of sitting around all bi myself eating bon-bons in my half-empty office park that I manage here in Springdale. I am very GLAAD to have more food choices.

ROTFL at GOP said...

Just saw an email from Dear Leader Chairman Alex where two of the just six county wide elected officials who are still Republicans are having a big high-dollar fund-raiser downtown.

Are they supporting a Republican mayoral candidate? NO.

Are they supporting a Republican city council slate? NO.

Are they getting an early start on winning back a county or state elected position? NO.

Are they trying to win back one of the judgeships that Dear Leader has conceded to the Democrats? NO, of course not.

Twinkie-lover Tracy Winkler and $tan Che$ley's very own Prosecutor, AKA Joe Deters, are hosting a fund-raiser at the Boathouse for some guy named Vince Wallace, whoever he is, who is really stepping up to the plate and will be the party standard-bearer for....

wait for it....

SYMMES TOWNSHIP FISCAL OFFICER!!!

Way to pull out the big guns for that one, Dear Leader Chairman Alex!!!!

Republicans for Higher Taxes said...

FYI fellow tax hikers: all "twink" comments are getting deleted from this post. Come on everyone, let's celebrate this wonderful high-fat food that we will all be eating in FIVE more days!

Republicans for Higher Taxes said...

ROTFL at GOP (or anyone else): can you send us a copy of the invite to this prestigious fundraiser? We would love to help promote it. We'll even bring some Twinkies.

Pedophile Priests said...

We'd love it if Mike Moroski would come over to the rectory and have some Twinkies with us. Seems like such a nice young man.

Gary from Green Twp said...

Can't wait to see all those lazy fat slobs in the Colerain GOP get even fatter on all those Twinkies. Except Dennis, Jeff, and Mindy. You guys are cool.

Mike Moronski said...

Sorry Padre, but this "Catholic" is too busy promoting abortion to pay you a visit. Besides, I really don't care about you people. The Catholic thing was good for a paycheck, but my religion is liberalism.

Monday night I'll buy some Twinkies. Tuesday morning I'm back to killing babies.

Kathy Mohr said...

If I had a Twinkie for every public record request I filed and for every public meeting where I either screeched at the trustees or scowled the whole time, I'd be... fat and angry, instead of just plain angry.

Good thing I work for someone who understands where I'm coming from. You're the best, Dusty.