Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The streetcar is dead

Dear fellow tax hikers, THEY KILLED OUR STREETCAR!!! 

Just one month after our humiliating Roxanne Qualls defeat we are sitting here crying our eyes out again.  This city is DEAD.  It can't possibly survive. 

Please help us spread the word to all streetcar supporters that the Suicide Hotline is open 24/7.  We're not giving up and neither should you.  We tax hikers are like roaches - we never go away. 

This means some bad things for us.  Worst of all, we'll have to keep riding a putrid BUS to get around instead of a luxury $148 million streetcar.  Or we'll just have to drive our SUV's more often.  But jeez, don't you sometimes have these days that you want to park the SUV and get around in a lovely streetcar? 

We white Young Professionals in OTR deserve something for ourselves, but that evil man John Cranley took it away.  We promise you our movement isn't dead even if our streetcar is.  Someday, we'll bring a streetcar and a huge new Light Rail Tax to Cincinnati - once Cincinnati reverses itself from it's "death". 


Prominent Streetcar Supporter Jake Mecklenborg said...

"Much of the opposition to the streetcar lies in Mallory's homosexuality."

Yeah, that's it. And you wonder why these morons couldn't sell a Get Out of Jail Free Card to a prisoner.

Little Napoleon Craig Hochscheid said...

I'm mad as hell!!!!!! Well, I'm angry every day, but I'm even angrier than normal today.

This is the one amusement ride I could have ever used. I'm too fat and too short to ride anything at King's Island. This was all I had.

Fourth Street Barrister said...

It's gonna suck for all those condos that got the city to relax the code and NOT require parkig spaces. I guess you'll have to walk or ride the bus like everyone else. Oh wait, OTR hipsters are allergic to the bus.

Price Hill Twinkie said...

Hochscheid needed that streetcar, considering how much his Audi 5000 is in the shop.

Keep It Coming said...

How does a city which votes so overwhelmingly for Barack Obama and Ted Strickland, a city that totally crushed Senate Bill 5, a city that spends money like it's going out of style, a city that has a political insider and patronage culture that rivals Richard Daley's Chicago, turn around and abandon a public transportation system so favored by exactly the types of people referenced above?

It is due to the political incompetence of the people who have taken the lead on this particular issue.

Joseph Beth said...

Does this mean Jake Mecklenborg has to self-publish another book that nobody will buy?

Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan said...

You mean after all I did to assist the Cincinnati Streetcar it's all for naught? I'm going to have a lot of fun defending my pro-streetcar activities to Republican primary voters this spring.