Sunday, December 29, 2013

Todd Portune for Governor?

Dear fellow tax hikers, we blog tonight to honor and defend one of the biggest icons in local politics - Todd Portune's mustache.  As Todd ponders whether to run for Ohio Governor, we want everyone to understand the source of his strength - Mustache Power.  It is the power that drives Southwest Ohio politics.

However, as Portune and his mustache have traveled around Ohio seeking support, he was confronted by this vicious attack:


We may sometimes allow you to attack Portune, but never Bash the Stache!  His legendary mustache must be defended at all costs.  Whether Todd runs for Governor or not, the 'stache stays where it is.

16 comments:

David The Mann said...

If my good friend Todd is running for Governor, I promise I will support him. I am,

A Mann of My Word

PJ Sit and Spin's Annoying Smirk said...

I can be seen and have my picture taken with both Ed FitzGerald and Todd Portune, just like I had it both ways with Roxanne Qualls and John Cranley

Ed FitzPatrick said...

If Portune does run for Governor, do you think he'll pick a running mate who pays his taxes?

WCPOWKRCWLWTWXIXENQUIRER said...

We stand ready to help Todd Portune's campaign against the evil Republicans in any way that we can. Just as we have done every other time he has run for any office he desires.

Councilmember Squeelbach said...

I hope Todd isn't the victim of any right-wing, Tea Party, homophobic bigotry the way I am every single time I courageously summon the courage to speak truth to the conservative power structure. Bravo, Todd! I stand behind you ready to push as hard as I can to make sure you come out on top.

Erik Kerney said...

Brother, can you spare a few hundred thousand? I gots to live.

The Friendly Neighborhood Mustache said...

He's in. Ed Fitzgerald better start growing that mustache!

Portune's Publicist said...

Please don't let anyone know He grew up in Colerain Township. Describing His origins as "humble" will be helpful to His campaign but if people knew He was from that trash-infested ghetto, it would be catastrophic to His campaign.

Rusty Nail said...

I will win this race for Todd by calling for imprisonment for anyone who dares to question anything about my good friend. It worked well for my good friend Greg Insco and also my good friend Mike Moroski, didn't it?

LOL at GOP said...

Republican ineptitude got Todd his seat on the commission and Republican ineptitude is going to get Todd elected governor. Lots of Egg on the HCRP's faces.

Portune Campaign Staffers said...

Whatever we do, let's keep that Derekkk Bauman asshole at arms length. We cant afford to get Roxanned.

EnquirerDaytonDailyNewsToledoBladePlainDealerBeaconJournal said...

It's actually Republican extremism, especially those troglodytes in the legislature, that will get Todd Portune or Ed FitzGerald elected Governor and will allow Democrats to run the table and win every statewide office plus take back the House and Senate. If we have anything to say about it, that is.

Fact Check Fred said...

Democrat Todd Portune actually lives in the Republican "bastion" of Green Township. What say you, Rocky, Dave, Tony, Alex, Andy, Jennifer, Triffon, Bill, Tracy, George???

Alex T Mall Cop GOP said...

What do I do? I am under increased pressure from these bothersome conservatives to shine the light on Democratic Party misdeeds but that would upset my good friend Tim Burke. I wish I had PG Sittenfeld's rhetorical skills and talents.

Virgil Lovitt said...

I've endorsed Todd Portune before and the Republican Party hasn't done anything for me lately, so I might need to think about this, even though John Kasich has an admirable record of spending tax dollars and demanding to be totally unaccountable.

Craig from Pricedale said...

Even all drugged up on Benadryl and pucker schnapps I wouldn't vote for Todd Portune. He's nuttier than I me.