Dear fellow tax hikers, the Hamilton County Board of Elections released the official results of the 2014 Election and sadly the news remains just as bad as it was on Election Night. Our efforts to utilize Provisional Ballots and Common Core Math failed to manufacture a victory for our #1 candidate Micah Kamrass.
In the end, our enemy Jonathan Dever earned 55.7% of the vote to defeat Kamrass by 11.4%. We still cannot believe this happened. Our expert sources assured us that Kamrass would win in a landslide and we believed them.
How could Kamrass lose? He was being advised by the greatest legal mind of all time Mark Painter AND Campaign Expert PhD Julie Matheny. He was further supported by wise, angry old men Walt Reuszer and Royal Doyle Webster, in addition to bitter old ladies Claudia Harrod, Barbara Nickol, Kerrie Hollihan, and Christine Weber.
With these incredibly brilliant people advising Micah and all the bipartisan support he said he had, we ask you tax hikers to tell us - how could Dever possibly win?