Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Mark Painter - 2014's Political Loser of the Year

Mark Painter - probably not the one on the left

Dear fellow tax hikers, after reviewing the exhaustive list of contenders we proudly name former Judge Mark Painter as our biggest loser of 2014.  Currently an employee of Democratic Chairman Tim Burke, Mark had to overcome fierce competition to win this most honorable award.

Marky Mark had a year he'd like to forget.  First he donated $1000 to our 2011 Tax Hiker of the Year Rick Bryan in his failed campaign for 28th District State Representative.  Just two days after Ricky's shocking defeat to the evil conservative Jonathan Dever, Mark gave another $500 to Dever's next opponent Micah Kamrass. 

That gave His Honor the rare distinction of losing the 28th District twice in six months

Painter's futility didn't stop there.  Marky Mark joined with those who believed that Hamilton County must raise its Sales Tax for up to 14 years to renovate BOTH Union Terminal and City Hall (each owned by City of Cincinnati), and that no other option was acceptable.  After the Commissioners voted to include only Union Terminal, Mark sent a legendary temper tantrum editorial to the Enquirer bashing the plan and thrashing our terrible Commissioners.

After Mark's denunciations, that TERRIBLE plan passed with 60% of the vote and that TERRIBLE, awful Monzel was re-elected with 57% in a 3-way race.  This was truly not His Honor's year to shine.

With so much great competition, we also feel compelled to give an Honorable Mention to those who earned it.

No comment

Campaign Expert PhD Julie Matheny.  C.E. Matheny's legendary losing streak makes her an annual contender for this award.  She is another one who lost the 28th District twice in 6 months, AND this great "Republican" supported Connie Pillich.  These three fine individuals did as well as every other candidate she has supported over the years. 

Peter Stautberg.  An incumbent State Representative with a significant spending advantage, who gets punked in his own primary by a guy he beat by 20 points just two years ago.  Enough said.

Cincinnati Enquirer Editorial Board.  They demanded higher taxes for Music Hall.  They loved Charlie Winburn and Connie Pillich.  They really, really wanted us to vote for Micah Kamrass.  But the voters rejected their endorsements, with more than the usual enthusiasm. 

Charlie Luken.  Great name ID in a race where name ID is everything? Check.  Access to big money? Check.  A current law license?  Check (just barely).  With all this, he still lost, and by a surprisingly big margin, to a guy who has never run for anything except judge.  Have a drink on us Charlie.  Oh what the hell, we're good for a full round. 

Blue Ash City Councilmen.  Remember the kids from the neighborhood where you grew up who would take their ball and go home whenever things didn't go their way?  Now they serve on Blue Ash City Council. 

The year started so promising for them.  Rick Bryan was going to save the 28th District for the Republicans, they told us.  Republicans needed to be unified, they told us.  Republicans needed to support the winner of the primary, they told us.  Micah Kamrass was a potential future statewide candidate who needed to be stopped, they told us. 

But when Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan lost his primary, all that went out the window.  The voters didn't respect their greatness, so the Councilmen took their ball and defected to Team Kamrass.  Dever won by 12 points anyways. 

These poor Council Members lost a very winnable race.  The nature of the loss demonstrated that every single Blue Ash Councilman is unelectable outside Blue Ash.  They lost their respect from local GOP, and the Democrats would still throw them under the bus at the first opportunity.   This was a most terrible year for these fine Members of Council. 

28 comments:

Tim Burke said...

I still think my Republican counterpart is the big loser of the year when I protected all my incumbents and he did not. Yeah, I lost an open seat but also gained one too. While Democrats elsewhere lost seats by the truckload, I actually came out ahead. Thank you, Alex.
The Hamilton County Republican Party: Leadership that's working... for us!

COAST is TOAST said...

Remember when those unhinged right-wing kooks were going to run against all those Blue Ash council members as payback for not supporting Dirty Dever? How did that turn out for you?

Guess we already know who the biggest losers in 2015 are!

The Former Future Mrs Blessing said...

How did I not make the cut?

Unemployed Loser said...

The unemployed dumbass and anonymous coward behind this blog is the biggest loser in all of politics for 2014.... and 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, etc.

Wheezer Reuszer's pacemaker said...

Anyone who advised the Micah Kamrass and David Pepper campaigns belong on this list. By naming Painter and Blue Ash Council, many of them are already here.

Greed Township GOP said...

The biggest losers are our neighbors to the north suffering in their trash-infested ghetto.

Broken Fountain said...

We may have lost three of our six races during the best cycle ever for Republicans but we were big winners cashing those checks from Zac, Mike and Chip.

Alex T Mall Cop GOP said...

If I truly needed to win elections in order to keep my job, then I would have made this list. But my top priorities are to keep the courthouse in republican hands and keep the tax dollars flowing to Chip Gerhardt's clients then I am having a great year!

Math is Hard said...

The Former Future Mrs Blessing said...
How did I not make the cut?

Maybe not enough signatures to make the final ballot?

Republican Leaders in Washingtons d Columbus said...

The biggest losers are those gullible morons who thought we would actually limit government spending and stop Obama.

Princess Margaret said...

The biggest losers in Hamilton Ciunty are the ones who think that going door to door is a good way to meet voters and win elections, duh! Everyone knows you need to spend all your time at cocktail parties Downtown and maybe only occasionally go to a candidates forum in a nice suburb. Especially important is to stay away from those icky fat, smelly, disgusting, inbred west siders.

David A Pepper said...

I don't understand how I missed the cut. I used to be a guy who won elections, stuck to the ideological middle of my party, and hired good staff.

Now my Mommy and Daddy can't buy me a win, I hire some of the most incompetent staff in the country, and I cater to the far left rather than the vast middle. And I'm too dumb to understand how these concepts relate to each other. I'm also in charge of the Democratic Party in Ohio where I will continue to demonstrate my greatness!

OFA said...

Don't worry David, when the DNC and our Presidential nominee step up, we will flood Ohio with all the resources necessary to win the state and keep the White House. We'll send in a bunch of 22 year olds telling you what to do David. Just nod and smile and play along and you'll come out smelling like a rose.

There's Obviously More (TOM) in Sycamore said...

We thought it was funny when those clowns in Colerain got their heads handed to them on the JEDZ defeat after ours sailed through like butter.

The Blessing Dynasty said...

When you have the right last name, you never need to worry about losing.

West Side Democrats said...

The biggest losers in 2015 will be the Colerain Toenship elected officials who have to defend their massive tax hikes when they could have saved 2 million dollars by letting the professionals in the HCSO do the job right.

Colerain Dems said...

Damn straight! Just wait until Greg "The Shark" Insco ramps up his campaign; you teabaggers won't even know what hit you. We will enlist ALL SIX Westside Dems, as they've already got Harrison wrapped up. Nobody this side of the Mississippi has a ground game quite like us.

Come to think of it, we may need to move our meetings from IHOP to somewhere that can hold the thousands of people that will support our campaign. Hmmm...

We can't wait to beat some "toenship" officials!!!

The Former Future Mrs. Otis said...

Hey Insco...hire ME!!!! I'm a free agent now. I'll find me some poor sucker to circulate your petitions while I pity-eat. You'll just have to get someone to check your signatures.

State Rep Tammy Simendinger said...

I wouldn't have made it as far as I did without Jim Neal, Todd Portune and Dusty Rhodes' support.

Mayor Lee Sore LooCzer Wonka said...

We have previously warned you people that you are not to ever question a Blue Ash Councilman. You better remove your derogatory reference to us or there will be consequences.

Colerain Dems said...

Forget Insco. He was a joke. Your failed JEDZ and your near miss on the gigantic police tax hike didn't get your attention, Colerain Township Republicans, so you can dismiss us the way Sean Donovan and Bob Bedinghaus did. Fine with us. PS, our meetings have outdrawn yours lately.

When It's Time To Go said...

When You've Been in office for 12 years and you have more letters of reprimand in your file than the person you fired, it's time to go.

Ralph said...

It's telling that Republicans always talk about which seats they will lose in Hamilton County but we Democrats always discuss which seats we will pick up.

The Hamilton County Republican Party: Leadership That's Working -- for us!

Dave from Dunlap said...

You know you've been in office too long when you can't ever get more than 51% of the vote and everyone else in your party gets over 60% every time they run.

KNC51 said...

I can't use my real name because I am retired from a very important position at the very highest levels of the government of the great state of Ohio. Folks, we used to have great government in Colwrain. Then we let people buy their way into office and then we let them buy offices for younger and less experienced candidates and our great township has suffered as a result. We need to go back to making elected office something that only happens after years of service and sacrifice to our party. We let too many people cut the line because we let money talk. It's really sad what has happened in Colerain. It really is.

Former Republican Voter said...

So will the Republicans do anything to earn my vote in 2016? Or will they just keep investigating Hilary Clinton?

Just Give Up said...

When your opposition research team consists of one unhinged government bureaucrat still bitter over losing an election last decade, and who doesn't understand the difference between official email and personal email, or working on political campaigns while on taxpayers time is forbidden, it's time to give up. What say you, Kathy, Joe, Tom and "Gavin"? How does it feel to go 1-13 in the 21st century?

Mark Painter's Huge Ego said...

Mark Painter has been a loser for a lot longer than the past 12 months. Don't forget his astoundingly bad performance in his 1992 epic smack down defeat for Ohio Supreme Court. It wasn't a losing margin of David Pepper-like proportions, but a beat down nonetheless.

A non-megalomaniac would have been humbled by the defeat, but not Painter. Old Marky Mark took his "talents" to the United Nations. In an historic move, he was run out of the UN as well. Even a group of the world most egregious self-aggrandizers couldn't handle Painter's massively bloated ego and undeserved sense of importance.

He slunk home to Cincinnati where he could better make sure that his bloated ego was matched by an equal bloated liver, and has been on the losing end of battles ever since.