Thursday, October 20, 2011

Rick Bryan - 2011 Tax Hiker of the Year

Dear fellow tax hikers, we proudly name Blue Ash City Councilman Rick Bryan our 2011 Tax Hiker of the Year.  Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan has an extensive record of raising taxes and growing the size of government.

Most people familiar with Rick say that he is one of the least hardworking and most irrelevant politicians in Southwest Ohio, and for the most part they are correct.  But we love Rick anyways because he works very hard at two things - raising taxes and building big taxpayer-funded monuments.  Consider the Rick Bryan record:

1)  Teamed with former Attorney General Marc Dann to endorse a 15 year, $777 million Sales Tax increase on Hamilton County residents.  Sadly, 56% of county voters rejected Rick's huge Sales Tax hike.

2)  Publicly endorsed a 2006 Charter Amendment giving Blue Ash City Council the authority to raise the city's earnings tax from a measly 1% to 1.25%.

3)  As soon as this amendment passed, Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan wasted no time taking advantage of this power by voting to raise the earnings tax by 25% on the undertaxed residents and workers of Blue Ash.

4)  After raising the earnings tax, our Rick has enthusiastically pushed to spend it all on vitally important items such as a $14 million Rec Center rebuild (when it could have been renovated for $3 million), a big new park, a new arts center (30 feet from Sharonville's), AND The Big All-Important Golf Course Clubhouse Expansion.  While many communities are wasting their money on things like police, fire, roads, and snow removal, Bryan makes sure Blue Ash focuses on building big expensive monuments on which they can hang an expensive plaque with the names of each City Councilman.

5)  Strongly supported the re-election of our hero Bob Bedinghaus for all the great things he did for Hamilton County.  We needed those stadium deals, and we're glad Rick Bryan understands this. 

6)  Voted to have Blue Ash City Council endorse the tax increase which more than doubled the Hotel/Motel Tax in Hamilton County.  This tax increase was pushed by Virgil Lovitt, sponsored by Jean Schmidt, and signed into law by Bob Taft - a legendary trio of tax hikers.

7)  Opposed the nomination of our nemesis Pat DeWine for Judge.  DeWine opposed the $777 million Sales Tax increase that Bryan endorsed, and our Rick wanted to make sure DeWine was severely punished for his fiscally conservative ways. 

8)  A fine example of Rick's efforts to make Blue Ash so "well-run", the City actually paid a band to NOT perform at the Taste of Blue Ash.  Never have we seen a wiser use of taxpayer dollars. 

9)  Finally, Rick proudly wears his big, manly, mad-sexy mustache everywhere he goes.  Given his poor work ethic and limited ability to understand complex issues, Rick Bryan needs that Mustache Power to be the tax-hiking superstar he has become today. 

As you can see, Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan is a fantastic tax increaser and is highly deserving of his Tax Hiker of the Year Award.  He doesn't do many things well, but nobody can deny his superior skills at raising taxes and building big monuments.  We hope everyone will join us in congratulating our 2011 Tax Hiker of the Year Rick Bryan!


BA Resident said...

They're already celebrating!

Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan said...

Oh wow, this is one of the greatest honors I have ever received! You guys are wonderful. Keep doing all the great work you do.

I am so overwhelmed right now my mustache is twitching and tears are streaming down my face. It means so much to me that someone has noticed all the great work I've done to raise taxes and build things.

I promise to continue making you proud. I accept this award with honor and will strive to be the greatest Tax Hiker of the Year that anyone can be.

Traciiiiiii Winkler :) said...

Like, that is totally awesome Rick! That must be soooo kewl to get a neat award like that. You should, like, totally run for County office! You might want to change your name to Winkler first though. lol :)


Republicans for Higher Taxes said...

Come on tax hikers I don't want to delete any more posts today. Keep the posts above board and without graphic language. This is our special day, let's show ourselves in best pro-tax light possible!

HCGOP said...

Congratulations Rick! From all your friends at the Hamilton County Republican Party! We know you'll shine! We love you!

Blue Ash Voter not supporting Rick said...

You guys could have added several more items to that list. Don't forget about all the property tax increases he's supported for a local school district that already spends more money per student than almost every one in Ohio. That's real money for us. His hand-picked school board members keep spending money like it's going out of style which will lead to another property tax increase in 2012 or 2013. We can't afford it!

Then you have all those Blue Ash Police Officers getting arrested. And Rec Center employees who show up to work hung over and don't get disciplined for it. Trust them with your kids? No wonder they have you sign a waiver holding harmless the city for all that happens on their property, even if it's 100% their fault. With employees like that, things will happen. That's Rick Bryan's Blue Ash for you.

Champion Tax Hiker said...

We need an Enemy of the Treasury Award to spotlight those delusional few who think taxes aren't too high already.

Princess Margaret said...

When's the awards banquet? I hope there's a cocktail hour. Let me know, I'll need to get a new dress. And some new shoes. I am so pumped. Just be sure not to invite any smelly west-siders. Of course none of them like to raise taxes the way Rick Bryan, Leslie Ghiz and Jean Schmidt (all cool east siders) do.