Thursday, March 12, 2015

Adam Hoover is Ready for Hillary

Dear fellow tax hikers, we have some great news to share with you.  We escaped our kidnapper and now we're back!  Thank you for all your prayers kind thoughts to Mother Earth. 

Speaking of kidnapping victims, our fellow survivor Adam Hoover is being targeted by the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy for his support of gay marriage and Hillary Clinton.


As kidnapping survivors, we are horrified by conservative attempts to blame the victim - and in this case, "victim" could refer to either Hoover or Clinton.  We will not be silenced.  Hillary will not be silenced.  And Adam Hoover will not be silenced.  We close with his words:


22 comments:

Pro Tip said...

Probably not the best strategy for unemployed Republican tools to be mocking their potential future employers on this blog.

PG for Senate said...

You have no right to discuss the things we don't want to discuss. Are you "all in?" That's all we care to discuss.

Get A Life said...

Krazy KOAST Kooks can't defend their own hypocrisy and poor public policies like tax cuts for the wealthiest 1% and undermining our country's national security. That's why blogs such as this exist, to try to spin attention away from serious matters and divide us by focusing on the trivial. Adam Hoover didn't start any wars, didn't cause any financial crises and didn't hand out any tax breaks to send American jobs overseas.

Alex T Mall Cop GOP said...

I am the coolest and baddest Republican Party chairman in a hip, urban county in the United States. My track record of success is second to none. It helps to have goofballs like Adam Hoover in the opposition camp, not gonna lie.

Jumpin Joe Deters said...

Processing the crime scene of the alleged kidnapping is going to be very hard. BCI will have to process hundreds of different DNA samples left inside the trunk. Maybe Hoovers campaign financing could cover the cost of extra rubber gloves.

Republicans for Higher Taxes said...

Get a Life, you caught us. We forced Adam Hoover to kidnap himself just so we'd have something to write about

Republican Leadership in DC and Columbus said...

Adam Hoover may be a pathetic loser but he represents the future. We must embrace his call for marriage equality if we ever want to win another election.

Greed Township GOP said...

We are ready for Hillary if she would do something to clean up the trash-infested ghetto to our north.

The Notorious P.I.G. Craig Hochscheid said...

I once tried to arrange my own kidnapping but we couldn't find a trunk that I could actually fit in.

Republicans in Colerain said...

The burrito flipper who faked his own kidnapping is a better candidate than the idiots the party will probably try and get us to re-elect.

Astute Analyst said...

I bet the GOP solved all its problems with that pizza party they held in their offices Downtown at noon last week. Nothing says expanding your base like closed-door meetings at a time and location convenient only for those who work for the party, and its elected officials, or the retired. I bet there was a lot of swapping of right-wing paranoia, the kind that everyone in attendance would have seen in 500 e-mail forwards over the past decade, but little in the way of concrete action steps.

These are the people who value courthouse and judgeships above all else, yet they lost an incumbent judgeship to a Democrat who didn't campaign and nearly lost a judgeship to someone whose law license lapsed nine times. These are the people who lost a state board of education seat in a year in which the top of the GOP ticket got more than 60% of the vote.

Can't wait to see how many winnable races the locals lose in 2016 when the top of the ticket will be very lucky to even carry Hamilton County. The locals at the 700 Club will blame the top of the ticket in 2016 (as they did in 2008 and 2012) but fail to explain losing a seat to Tracie Hunter in 2010 and losing TWO seats in the even-better 2014 cycle.

Oh yeah, they will claim voter fraud, to which I say two things: 1. have you ever heard of fraud to win a juvy court judgeship, and 2. why was it even that close when other candidates who weren't relying on the HCRP to manage their campaign (Monzel comes to mind quickly) blew the competition away.

Any word on who their new day-to-day office flunky ("Executive Director") will be??? Is Alex trying to find someone with no political sense of his or her own but who will offer up unquestioned loyalty???

Unless you want to keep losing seats to Democrats, it's time for new leadership at the Hamilton County Republican Party.

From A Real Pro said...

The first comment on here from a self-described "Pro" cracks me up. Do you really think that a 20-year-old fast-food worker and gay rights activist will be hiring any unemployed Republican political operatives any time soon?

Blue Ash Conservative Coalition said...

The best part of Astute Analyst's 90% correct analysis is that none of us even had to write it. Alex T. hears what he what to hear, not what he needs to hear.

The best candidates I've ever worked with were driven to constantly get better. It's too bad we don't have that trait in the leadership of the Hamilton County Republican Party.

The results speak for themselves. If I was a Republican Party Chairman who lost net seats in the best GOP year since at least 1994, the embarrassment alone would be enough to get me to huddle with my best candidates, campaign leaders, and activists and truly map out areas for improvement.

Walnut Street said...

Don't hold your breath waiting for them to name a qualified Executive Director. It will be the typical Alex person - someone who is loyal and unquestioning but has next to zero political skills.

Boss Burke said...

My good friend Alex and I have an understanding - I beat up on him and he rolls over and takes it. Our relationship has been great as I have taken seats from him in every single two-year cycle since he became Chairman.

Even with 2014 being the worst year for Democrats I've ever experienced, and even with that damn Dever and his conservative friends clobbering my boy Mikey, I STILL gained a net seat on my good friend Alex last year! Just imagine what will happen in 2016 when it's not a heavily Republican year and I get my Democratic presidential turnout behind my candidates. He's so dumb he'll never know what hit him.

Republican Leadership in DC and Columbus said...

President Obama demands we change our stance on climate change, so we will cave on that too. Remember, this is the way of the future if we ever want to win another election.

Broken Fountain said...

If losing two elections is the mark of,poor leadership, what does that say about us? We lost three elections last time. Good thing one of our other clients took matters into their own hands down the stretch or we might have lost four!

Bill the Marlboro Man Seitz said...

All this bickering over a gay guy making up a story, it happens all the time in Columbus and I should know as I've been up there too long. That is why I plan to retire early so friends of Alex can appoint Lou Terhar and then have Ritter from the stinky north fill his spot. What better way to deny voters out of any choice. By the way I'll be speaking at an Empower U meeting about over reaching government regulations, something I know first hand in how to screw the public, especially when it comes to public records.

Let's Face It said...

Zero political skills + unfailing devotion to Alex = Mike Robison is coming back to the GOP.

Eureka! said...

Someone who needs a job and has no political talent, and who also has experience as a Democrat campaign operative like the previous holder of the post: Adam Hoover for GOP Executive Director!

Joe Camel said...

Hey, Bill, if you step down early, which we all know that you will, and if you get Lou Terhar to succeed you, then Terhar's successor has to live in his state rep district. Ritter is in that trash-infested ghetto known as Colerain. (Ritter has done everything he can to develop Colerain but has been impeded by RINOs.)

So that means one of your Green Township friends to succeed Lou. (Dream on, Delhisians.) Now I happen to think Ritter is a great guy who is surrounded by incompetent career politicians just warming their chairs until a higher office is their "turn," but it isn't legally possible for him to succeed Lou Terhar.

Hopefully, for Jeff's sake, they either slide him direct to the Senate or have Bill Blessing succeed you so that Jeff can succeed him.

Anonymous said...

Take my wife please.

Craig "shine box" Hochscheid