Dear fellow tax hikers, we command everyone to not participate in tomorrow's nationwide protests against the IRS. The IRS is the victim of a witch-hunt for courageously targeting Tea Party and other conservative groups.
Locally this protest will start tomorrow on Fountain Square at Noon, where the ungrateful protestors will then march to the Federal Building a few blocks away. This is where the IRS employees accused of wrongdoing work. You are not to be present at any part of this protest.
We stand behind the IRS. They hold the most honorable jobs in government - collecting your tax dollars! They are so good that they have even collected delinquent tax dollars from Obama's Cabinet officials and Matt Borges. We applaud them for deciding to target conservative and Tea Party groups - those people are trying to reduce government and lower the amount of taxes you pay. We are delighted to see the Obama Administration using the full force of government to discriminate against these groups.
We will provide all support possible to this fantastic government agency. While those conservative bastards are protesting the IRS tomorrow, we want all of you behind your computers posting here to show your support for the great work being done by the IRS. Tax us more!