Dear fellow tax hikers, last year may have been disastrous for us but now we are gearing up to bring some big new tax increases to Hamilton County. Today we revealed our plans in an exclusive to the Cincinnati Business Courier.
First, we are going to raise Hamilton County's Sales Tax to ensure the streetcar is properly funded and expand bus service all across the county. If there is any project that needs more taxpayer funding, it's the Cincinnati Streetcar.
We are also going to pass a tax hike for the Preschool Promise. Our tax-hiking team still has to decide whether we want this to be a city-only issue or go countywide. This is going to need a lot of your money.
For example, two years ago this program was projected to cost no more than $9 million in the city. Now the estimated cost is up to $18 million. Who knows where the final number will end! We promise to endorse this Promise no matter how much it costs.
One of the leaders of the Preschool Promise is The Greatest Rabbi in Ohio Lewis Kamrass, who happens to be the father of Micah and Jared. Gee, we wonder which political consulting firm will get the contract to run this tax hike campaign. This is how politics works. We raise taxes to make ourselves richer - while all you peasants get poorer. These two important tax increases will continue this proud tradition. Tax us more!
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17 comments:
I bet I can sucker those tax hikers in Blue Ash and Springdale once again. Rick Bryan and Lee Czerwinka can do all the work while I get all the adulation from the Enquirer and the TV stations. I learned my lesson last time and won't ask Julie or her father to do anything for me in Springdale!
I wonder how many millions of documents I can demand from the Colerain Township government over this issue. It's so great to be able to pick up where legendary records-demanded Kathy Mohr left off. It was such a shame that she decided to stop when she nearly got fired because her addiction to public records was so strong that it was taking over her taxpayer-funded day job. It's such an honor to be able to fill the void created when The Great One had to hang it up.
I can talk about the importance of public transportation and public education at all the Zumba classes I lead as I try to pretend to make a living. Oh who am I kidding? You know I only want to talk about my favorite subject: ME! See you on TuTu Tuesday.
Should I endorse each of these amazing tax increases individually or can I endorse them both at the same time? I'm not bitter at all that Jonathan Dever stole my State Representative office from me.
Can we please, PLEASE pass a tax to pay for a wall that isolates the west side from the rest of humanity?
I've had nightmares ever since I saw that X Files episode called "Home" and realized it must have been a documentary on a west side family.
That pesky little turd Rick Bryan can talk about the wonders of government funded pre-school and the streetcar next time he spends Blue Ash tax dollars and goes to Germany. Hopefully, that smarmy little fucker does us all a favor and stays in that socialist hellhole this time.
We strongly oppose outsiders from Blue Ash meddling in Cincinnati affairs. Except when we agree with them. So welcome aboard Rabbi! (and just ignore Hochscheid's rantings)
This is going to be great. Alex will get his Republicans to support these taxes. Then all those Tea Party types will be upset with him and stay home while my team and I campign against him for not caring about anyone besides the wealthiest 1%.
Can we get a tax hike to clean up that trash-infested ghetto to our north?
At least Micah does something worthwhile with his life while you Republicans spew hate speech and drunk-tweet all night.
Perhaps Dan Unger can lead these tax hike campaigns since he suddenly likes higher taxes so much. Try to get this on the May election when no one is looking.
Guess I should call Alex into my office and demand he appoint a "Policy Committee" full of loyal kiss-ups to endorse the levies and the central committee will surely follow. Glad we shut down those Blue Chip drunks who might stir up some trouble.
Let's make sure to support these tax hikes and guarantee they cover abortions for undocumented workers. If we can include something to make our gay friends happy that would be even better. Remember we have to be the party of Even Bigger Government than the Democrats if we ever want to win another election anywhere ever again.
Interesting comment from News Reporters, given that Micah had done exactly nothing with his life when he wanted us to elect him State Representative.
Krista wuz robbed of a Pulitzer for this piece, just as much as Micah Kamrass wuz robbed. http://www.cincinnati.com/story/opinion/columnists/krista-ramsey/2014/11/13/krista-ramsey-micah-kamrass/19004955/
You people shut up. I am the big cheese, the Mighty Mayor of Blue Ash, and I'll tell you what you need to know.
Republicans should support increased investment in public education and public transportation, but they won't because they hate black people.
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