Thursday, March 27, 2014

Crystal Faulkner adores Chris Seelbach

Dear fellow tax hikers, welcome to the 3rd Edition of.....The Crystal Faulkner Democratic Donation of the Week.  If there's one thing MS. Faulkner can't stand, it's when conservative Republicans get elected to Cincinnati City Council. 

To stop the Republicans dead in their tracks, Crystal Faulkner Cooney was happy to donate $500 to liberal Democrat Chris Seelbach to help him get re-elected in 2013. 

By supporting Chris Seelbach instead of giving that money to Republicans, MS. Faulkner confirmed her support for:

- Seelbach's gay agenda
- more Cincinnati streetcars
- Seelbach's gay agenda
- Responsible Bidder
- Seelbach's gay agenda
- refusing to let the public vote on the Mallory/Qualls parking plan
- Seelbach's gay agenda
- gun control
- Seelbach's gay agenda
- abortion on demand
- Seelbach's gay agenda

These are the Republican values we look for in our endorsed candidates.  If this is your agenda too, then please join us in supporting Crystal Faulkner for Republican Central Committee. 


911 Operators said...

We be supportin' all dat stuff de Cryztal lady be supportin' too, but y'all fogot one thing.

Dat phone call de councilmemba made afta a night of some binge drinkin' wif his homies.


Crystal is our kind of Republican!!!

The best part is we can hide our liberal bias by supporting a John Kasich Republican and make ourselves look fair for once.

Princess Margaret said...

Cryztal Faulkner is my kind of Republican! Throwing a high-dollar cocktail party is always more important than going out and talking to actual voters and much better than doing any phone banks. Has anyone seen me at a phone bank or out door-to-door in the past 10 years? Heck no!

So, the choice is between one of my people and someone who condescends to talk to an actual voter about the Republican Party, my obvious choice is with Kryztal.

You never thought for one minute I'd ever vote for someone who mingles with the Great Unwashed, did you?

Princess Crazypants said...

No fair! She should have donated all that money to my campaign!. A girl's got to live, you know.

Karma said...

I am a bitch. You people need to remember that.

Chris Seelbach said...

I thank Crystal for all her support. She is one of the good ones. I look forward to solving problems with her - such as defeating other Republicans.

Ashwin said...

All us Democratic Party campaign operatives from New York City are doing everything we can to support Cryztal Faulkner. My old campaign buddies in the city still marvel at how I continue to serve the party's best interests while I am a paid operative for the party of the rich.

Mayor Mallory said...

Crystal and I have a lot in common. With her support I was able to get that streetcar built. I happily endorse her for State Central Committee

Kryztal said...

I hope all my democrat friends help me pass out my walking literature.

Cocktail Party Candidate said...

"Walking literature", lol. What a hoot. Way to show that you've never actually participated in the nitty gritty of a campaign, besides writing checks (often to liberal Democrats).

Is it too blue collar, and low brow to use "lit piece" Cryztal? Your candidacy is a joke.

Greed Township Republicans said...

Speaking of blue-collar and low-bow, Crystal should be glad she doesn't have to campaign in the trash-filled, oil-fouled, high-crime, disgusting, filthy, ghetto of Colerain Township. She wouldn't last a day there,