Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Crystal Faulkner hearts Mark Mallory

Democrats Crystal Faulkner and Roxanne Qualls collaborate

Dear fellow tax hikers, we welcome you to our 2nd Edition of........ The Crystal Faulkner Democratic Donation of the Week.  Back in 2009, MS. Faulkner understood the importance of stopping conservative Brad Wenstrup in his tracks.

To accomplish this important goal, Crystal Faulkner proudly supported and donated to Democratic Mayor Mark Mallory.  With Crystal's support, Mallory defeated Wenstrup to earn a 2nd term as Mayor where he continued to do great things for Cincinnati.

By sticking it to Wenstrup and helping re-elect Mallory, Faulkner reiterated her support for:

- streetcars
- higher taxes
- abortion on demand
- the brilliant Mallory/Qualls parking plan
- responsible bidder
- "marriage equality" for gays, polygamists, and incestors
- the big $4 million atrium

These are the kind of values we Republicans hold dear.  This is why we at Republicans for Higher Taxes have endorsed Crystal Faulkner for Ohio Republican State Central Committee. 


Cryztal Faulkner said...

Some day I hope to donate to the Mayoral campaign of liberal Democrat PG Sittenfeld. Go PG! Follow my campaign for Democrat, I mean, Republican State Central Committee on twitter at @faulkner4SCC

Mayor Mallory said...

Thank you Crystal for all of your support. Because of great people like you, I was able to bring a streetcar to Cincinnati and pursue many other progressive ideals.

I wish you the best of luck in taking our progressive ideology to the Ohio Republican Party.

Princess Margaret said...

Who cares if she has donated to a few Democrats? Cryztal throws the BEST swanky parties EVER! The food is delish, the drinks are on the house, the ambience is divine, and best of all there are never, ever, ever any fat, sweaty, icky, disgusting, inbred west siders at her house!!!

Alex T Mall Cop GOP said...

You know, the Greeks invented arm-twisting. Despite the money Crystal gave to Democrats, I am so proud of my Republican friends and colleagues who can look past that and support her. How often do you see people embrace donors who gave to their opponents and snubbed them in their campaigns? Healing, reconciliation, and getting along with Democrats is what my chairmanship has been all about. Gotta run. Time to wash my good friend Tim Burke's car.

Ashwin said...

Alex doesn't just make friends with Democratic Party political operatives, he hires them for jobs, bypassing dozens of other loyal Republicans who worked in the trenches for decades for little to no pay. The only time we notice the little people like that here at Republican Headquarters is when we make fun of them. But we're strictly instructed to never speak ill of a Democrat. Given my past affiliations with Democrats, that's never been a problem for me. Crystal Faulkner doesn't need us to hire her for anything but we are more than happy to see this generous donor and fundraising event hostess for Democratic candidates and public officials be elected to steer the Ohio Republican Party in the proper direction.

Lots of my friends in the Democratic Party thought I was nuts to go work for the Republicans, but with the way we support people who raise money for Democrats and mock those icky Tea Partiers behind their backs, I haven't seen much of a difference.

Tom Coooney said...

Man you guys are keeping me in the dog house over this mess. I wish that Borges guy never asked her to run for that stupid office and pretend she's a republican. What a fruit loop.


This is a dream come true for us. We'd love to see the Republican Party move to the left and ditch those troublesome conservatives and Tea Party whackjobs. We'd love if the two party system consisted of a very liberal party that wants to raise taxes to give more money to the needy and an opposition party that is only slightly less willing to do so, but that we can castigate as heartless and evil nonetheless.

Liberal Urban Hipster said...

You mean I have to REGISTER as a REPUBLICAN to vote for my good friend and selfless donor to the people I care the most about Crystal Faulkner???? That's voter suppression! That's so totally unfair! As a progressive advocate for a better, cleaner and more just community, I should be able to vote for both Democrats AND Republicans who fit my world view. If only those mean, evil, nasty people who run the Republican Party weren't so mean and bigoted, the world would be a better place. I think John Husted and John Kasich should be impeached for making it so someone as caring and liberal as me can only vote once. I bet they let their friends in the KKK and Tea Party vote as many times as THEY want to do. This is so unfair.