Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Ghostbuster for Hamilton County Commissioner
Dear fellow tax hikers, our candidate for Hamilton County Commissioner, Democrat Sean Feeney, has a plan to defeat incumbent Commissioner Chris Monzel. And it involves reaching out to everyone - especially the Paranormal-American community.
Yes, it was discovered today that Feeney is a former paranormal investigator. He specialized in investigating UFO's and ghosts, and was so dedicated to the cause that he co-authored an ethics guide into paranormal investigations.
Has Chris Monzel ever co-authored a paranormal ethics guide?
What do you do when Hamilton County Commissioners won't raise taxes as high as you want? What do you do when you hate Monzel as much as we do and can never defeat him? What do you do about all these injustices? Who you gonna call?
This story hits home. One of my spouses was kidnapped in 2012 by space aliens. Fortunately these were fun aliens instead of the evil ones. They spent his month of captivity pulling pranks and telling jokes before returning him safely back to Earth.
This diversity of experience will be enormously helpful to the Feeney campaign. He won't beat Monzel with just Hamilton County voters. But once Feeney gets votes from ghosts, dead people, and aliens from outer space he will be victorious.
We leave you with the theme song for the Feeney campaign.