Dear fellow tax hikers, the last time we heard about gay rights leader Adam Hoover he was making international news by getting arrested for faking his own abduction. Adam is a respectable homosexual (are there any other kind?) so we urged the judicial system to cut him a break. We can proudly report that Adam received his sweetheart resolution to these charges, getting sentenced to 6 months diversion.
It basically means he has to be a good boy for 6 months. And if he does break the law during probation they will drag him back to Court, where they will repeat their order not to break law again and force him to turn in his shirtless posters of Justin Bieber.
Even though this "sentence" was announced 3 weeks ago, we are still only the 2nd media outlet to report on it. In particular, The Enquirer ran from this story faster than Democratic voters have been running from PG Sittenfeld. When they thought Adam Hoover had been kidnapped, they were hotter for this story than The Hoover on a monster c*ck.
This should free Hoover to resume his important work on the Hillary Clinton for President campaign. If there's anyone who should know their place, it's someone on the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign. As The Hoover knows, sometimes that place is in the trunk of a car.
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We wanted to report this but Chris Seelbach and the Human Rights Campaign said they would call us homophobes if we covered the story any further.
Actually our editors would have called us homophobes if we reported this... And then fired us.
Adam Hoover needs healing and our forgiveness and compassion. In no way is his work for the Hillary Clinton campaign any concern of ours. This is just more proof that our party needs to change its ways and offer more support to gays and lesbians, transgender and those who aren't sure what they are. If we can spend your tax dollars to show that compassion, so much the better. Unfortunately, the gays and lesbians will not be able to benefit from our open borders policy or our commitment to doing absolutely nothing to decrease the number of abortions.
Adam Hoover is just the kind of honest and ethical leader that we want on our campaign. Welcome back Adam!
Please read our paper today. We have ANOTHER transgendered story!!!!
xoxo
It would be so much fun to demand public records in this matter but it doesn't concern Colerain Township so I have no interest in this case. Exactly like my good friend and legendary public records demander Kathy Mohr was before her addiction to such demands almost cost her a nice cushy job in county government.
This guy sullied the name of our great community.
What a troubled young man. Night another tax increase help?
When you come from the right family and the old man hands you a legislative seat as though it were a peerage in the House of Lords, you find nearly all public policy matters to be entirely trivial and this particular one to be reprehensible and disgusting.
Are gay rights activists who fake their own kidnapping as popular in Green Township as I am in my own district? Not even close. I win that one hands down. Time for that scheming, devious two-faced jerk Rick Bryan to go fuck himself.
Whoever is posting negative commentary against a Blue Ash Councilman better stop NOW before I unleash my wrath. Don't cross me.
Adam, come to my Zumba classes and I will give you free lessons on how to be an attention whore and using social media to create the illusion of mass support.
Ugh! Another black eye for that hideous west side of our otherwise great city! The west side is the Reds' Bullpen of Cincinnati.
You aren't fooling us. We know the truth: you Republicans want to put all of our gay,
Lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning friends into the gas chamber. At least that's what all of them tell us.
It is homophobic to suggest that a liberal gay can do anything wrong.
I want you all to know I am running for my zillionth term as Mayor of Springdale. I hope my good friend Micah Kamrass can help me out the way I helped him out. I really enjoyed being associated with some of Micah's friends like Stan Chesley, Jerry Springer and Reverend Al Sharpton.
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