Dear fellow tax hikers, His Highness Stan Chesley is hosting a special fundraising brunch for our fantastic tax-and-spend Congresswoman Jean Schmidt. We need all of you to show up at Stan Chesley's residence, 9005 Camargo Road, with your checkbook. (note - servants must use the back entrance).
Now some are questioning this alliance, but we are not. Stan Chesley is a tax-and-spend liberal. Jean Schmidt is a tax-and-spend Republican who supported all of Bob Taft's tax increases. Both Schmidt and Chesley strongly backed the George Bush/Barack Obama Bailout for Billionaires. They both know that the government can spend your money better than you. And they share a special bond in that they never, ever allow ethics to get in the way of getting what they want.
While we are very fortunate to have The Great Stan Chesley hosting this event, the list of co-hosts is equally impressive. Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters. Clermont County Prosecutor Don White. Convicted Felon Dick Weiland. Hamilton County Republican Party (of higher taxes) Chairman Alex Triantafilou. Bob Taft supporter Michelle Schneider. And shall we never forget our 2008 Tax Hiker of the Year Virgil Lovitt.
This brunch fundraiser will include two special events for its guests. First, Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters and Clermont County Prosecutor Don White will host a seminar to teach wealthy white women how to deep-fry their babies and get away with it. If you're wealthy and white and need to know how to murder your kid without consequence, Deters and White will guide you step-by-step.
And finally, each attendee will get to eat brunch one-on-one with Michelle Schneider. Don't worry, she'll be able to pace herself as the number of meals adds up. We encourage everyone to take advantage of this valuable opportunity to hear from one of Bob Taft's favorite tax increasers as she attempts to move up to the State Senate.
We call on all tax-hikers throughout Southwest Ohio to join us for this special event. Stan Chesley and Jean Schmidt share so much in common, now let's share brunch together and with them. Tax us more!