Sunday, May 20, 2012

Obese man kicked out of buffet

Dear fellow tax hikers, today we resume our Funny Stories series with a whopper. Odd News Videos reports that a 350-pound man was thrown out of an all-you-can-eat fish fry after consuming 12 pieces of fish. Running low on supplies, the restaurant gave him another 8 pieces of fish and sent him on his way.  Unsatisfied with a mere 20 pieces of fish, this obese man staged a protest outside the restaurant to complain about his shoddy treatment.

Note:  This is not a story about Craig Hochscheid, the portly pig behind the CincyCapell and Richard A. Brockelmann personas. 

We applaud Bill Wisth for standing up for his rights to eat a restaurant out of business.  Obviously the biggest problem in this 350-pound man's life is the lack of food.  If he wants to eat literally every piece of fish this restaurant has, that's his right as an American!  We stand large behind this enormous man and his enormous cause.  

9 comments:

Hungry Hungry Hochscheid said...

I've had this happen to me many times.

T.

Campaign Expert Matheny said...

My morbidly obese friend J. Stewart does not approve.

Fat Matt Hurley said...

The owners of this establishment should be ashamed of themselves. How do you in good conscience deny a man his 21st piece of delicious fried fish? That's unfair!

Anonymous said...

It was Tabby...

Princess Margaret said...

Ugh, fat people like that should just stay on the West Side. I just returned from a shopping excursion to Kennwood Towne Centre and there weren't any disgusting fat slobs like you see on the West Side all the time. (Other than Green Township. You guys are the bestest ever!!!)

Alex T said...

You know, the Greeks invented buffets.

Anonymous said...

Looking at Alex, I can believe it.

Mark Garbett said...

This guy should have just done what I do when I'm asked to leave all-you-can-eat buffets. Just hang around outside by the dumpster. You'd be surprised what people who aren't like me will leave on their plates at Golden Corral. It's always all-you-can-eat-for me!

Ashtray Chloroform said...

Hey everyone, come downtown to our victory center opening at 4:30 tomorrow. It'll be soooo worth it to drive 30 minutes in traffic, pay to park, walk three blocks, get accosted by homeless people, and stand in a telephone calling center just on the off chance one of our glorious elected officials like Tracy Winkler or Greg Hartmann might, just might, condescend to acknowledge your existence.

But hey, there will be some free snack food. If you get there *before* Tracy, that is. ;)