Thursday, November 15, 2012

Hostess considers liquidating entire company

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are distraught over the news that iconic foodmaker Hostess may have to shut down their entire company.  As the unions continue their strike, Hostess will announce Friday morning whether to liquidate, and we are afraid they will have no other option.

This is a dark, dark day for the future of food consumption in America.  This bankruptcy will leave a hole in pantries across America.  How can our hearts ever be full when our stomachs will be so empty?

13 comments:

Tabitha Hochfeed said...

Egads! What would I do without my Twinkies? Methinks management needs to cave in to every single worker demand immediately. Save my snacks!

OFA said...

"full hearts" was part of Governor RobMe's slogan, so you can keep slavishly following that job-killing loser or you can come to your senses.

Stoner Dave said...

Hostess going out of business just as states start to legalize marijuana, the sad, sad irony.

Campaign Expert Matheny said...

As if losing elections, losing tenants in the office park, losing elections, and losing businesses in Springdale weren't enough, now I am about to lose my prime food source. What is this world coming to? I blame Alex Triantafilou!

Kate the Weight said...

Oy. This is terrible.

Green Township Republicans said...

How on Earth are those fat, dumpy losers in Colerain Township going to survive?

Stadium Dave Linnenberg for Congress said...

Those Colerain people will have to take lessons from the fit, trim residents of Green Township, people like Chuck Mitchell and Tracy Winkler.

Princess Margaret said...

Those fat, lazy, smelly, sweaty, inbred, sexist, racist, homophobic, anti-Hispanic, Rosary-clutching, pro-pedophile-priest, disgusting west Siders cost us the whole election and now there primary food source is going away.

KAR-MA!

Now excuse me while I go out for a $200 dinner after buying $500 worth of shoes and cocktail dresses. It's so much hard work to stay beautiful and be such the dedicated political professional who hasn't ever made a mistake in my life. Actually, I have but there are always other people to blame.

Walt from White Oak said...

You've got to be kidding me, the political leadership in Greed Township seriously wants to get in a "fat war" with Colerain. What a freaking joke, but that's always been the Greed Township way: if someone criticizes them, just point the finger at someone else.

Of course, that's how Alex T and the rest of the Walnut Street Wizards roll too, so that's just how it is in GOP-land these days: not our problem, but it's everyone else's. Alex and Maggie can't look anyone in the eye anymore because they're cross-eyed from looking down their noses at everyone else.

Stuffing your face while talking about other people behind their backs happens a lot at Republican functions these days. It's why I want no part of this dysfunctional crew anymore.

AFL-CIO Guy said...

Our union boss says its the fault of Republican corporate executives like Mitt Romney and Bain Capital that destroyed this company. Us working people did our jobs every day without fail. They need to pay us more and work us less. If they run out of money, maybe they should be forced to sell off their mansions and their yachts to keep paying us our wages and benefits. We voted for Obama so he would take from the rich and give it all to us and that is what he needs to do here!

Congressman-Elect Lt. Col. Dr. Brad Wenstrup's Yes Man said...

With all the money I will be making as Congressman-Elect Lt. Col. Dr. Brad Wenstrup 's Yes Man With A Six-Figure Salary For Life, I will be sure to stock the new office with yummy Hostess products, even if we have to import the stuff from China. Oh, who am I kidding, we'll have a generous, taxpayer funded Members' Representational Allowance for stuff like this. Eat up, Team Wenstrup! Eat your heart out, COAST losers!

Fat Racist Pig Craig Hochscheid said...

I've been liquidating Twinkies for years!

Craig's Fellow Elitist Friends said...

It's Twinkies, not Twinks, Craig.