Thursday, November 29, 2012

Smitherman re-elected NAACP President

Dear fellow tax hikers, we know you were as dismayed as we were to learn that our enemy Christopher Smitherman was re-elected NAACP President.  We worked to defeat him because of his alliances with conservatives, which have often successfully rolled back our high-tax agenda. Smitherman's inclusiveness of different races and different ideologies is unacceptable and a scourge on the NAACP. 

His opponent Rob Richardson Sr. deserved to win.  Richardson wanted to return the Cincinnati NAACP to their proper role - which is to blindly obey the white people who run the Hamilton County Democratic Party. 

After this defeat, Rob Richardson Jr, a streetcar supporter and obedient Democratic loyalist himself, released the following statement:  "Although we did not win the election, we did confirm that members are demanding more accountability."  Junior should know all about accountability, given his prior leadership role with the urbanist group CincyPAC.

Yeah, Smitherman grew the NAACP from a few hundred members to a few thousand.  Yeah, he's led them from nearly broke to financial strength.  Yeah, he's led a coalition to pass several ballot issues that had widespread impact on our area.  But he still needed to be stopped!

You see, Smitherman doesn't obey.  Under his leadership, the NAACP has been an independent organization that fought for advancement of minorities and fairness for all regardless of whether the Democratic Party approved. 

Even worse, the ballot issues they've backed went against our big government agenda.  It was Smitherman and COAST that successfully overturned the $777 million Sales Tax increase that was backed by legendary tax hikers David Pepper, Todd Portune, Simon Leis, Sean Donovan, Leslie Ghiz, Virgil Lovitt, Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan, and The Great Marc Dann, among many others.  Smitherman and COAST also stopped Red Light Cameras, a Trash Tax, and the sale of Waterworks.  These actions directly violated the wishes of us and the Democratic Party!

With Smitherman in charge, the NAACP will remain an independent organization that won't blindly obey either political party.  But he better know we will be watching.


Fat Racist Pig Craig Hochscheid said...

That bastard Chris Finney was re-elected to the NAACP executive committee too. How can Finney win and streetcar union goon Richardson lose? I blame the blacks who were voting.

Kevin LeMaster's Liver said...

I would have voted, but I couldn't get a ride. Due to my recent DUI I lost my driving privileges. If we only had the streetcar I could have taken that. Wait, check that. The streetcar only runs in a worthless loop downtown and I live in the basement of my mommy and daddy's crappy bungalow in Springfield Township.

Nothing says snobby urbanist like a basement bedroom in Finneytown. LOL

Almost State Rep Steve Newsome said...

It's just so unfair.

urban YP hipsters said...

Those icky conservatives from COAST and those icky minorities we don't want on our streetcar are perfect together.

State Rep Lou Blessing IIi said...

Hey now, don't knock basement living!
And after that little park incident, I know how it feels to be the victim of the white power structure.

TrayVaughn Jenkins-Jackson said...

I always thought NAACP stood for National Association for the Assauging of Caucasian Progressives. The organization existed for the self-enrichment of the people at the top, who were always happy to make White people feel good about themselves by letting them hang around them.

Brother Smitherman is the hope for the change we can believe in.

Noey Prows said...

Even though Smitherman has been nothing but supportive of those of us in the gay community, I had to vote against him because that's what I was told to do by other pro-gay urban hipsters.

C. Scott Gehring said...

As a Republican operative who worked against other Republican elected officials, and as someone who married a Democrat and whose career benefitted from connections to David Pepper and Leslie Ghiz, and as the leader of a grassroots movement in Madeira, I should throw my hat into the ring for NAACP leadership next year.

Unless something bigger and better comes along, that is...