Monday, February 17, 2014

Best Valentine's Day gifts

Dear fellow tax hikers, this weekend me and my 3 spouses - Real Marriage Equality is THE BOMB - celebrated a wonderful Valentine's Day and exchanged some sweet gifts.  We hope you did too. 

We want to hear from our loyal readers.  What is the best gift you gave for Valentine's Day?

We'll list a few of our favorites.  Our finest gift was to the people of Cincinnati.  We told you we would deliver a streetcar, and with Rick Bryan's key assistance we did it!  The streetcar is a gift of love and we showed our love by making it happen.

To racist pig Craig Hochscheid, we were happy to ship an exquisite jumbo-sized bra from Victoria's Secret to help him with his sagging man-boobs. 



And finally, we captured the finest in 21st Century technology to deliver a special gift to Mrs. Craig Hochscheid, otherwise known as bottom-feeding debt collector Tabitha Hochscheid.  She is now the proud owner of a Thinning Suit, guaranteed to make her look 200 pounds lighter.  For a demonstration of how a Thinning Suit works, please view this MadTv sketch:



These were some of our finest gifts.  Now we'd like to hear yours.

9 comments:

Susannah Meyer, Tracie Hunter protege said...

You'd think with as many former fianc├ęs as I have I would get at least one Valentines Day gift. Maybe an ex-beau could send me the gift of a clue. I desperately need one.

Frank Costanza said...

Would a Price Hill bon vivant prefer that we call the support device for his fat, disgusting, stretch-marked man tits a "Bro" or "Manssiere"? Can't he just borrow one from his morbidly obese cow of a wife? While we're at it, get that fat bastard some spanx to suck in that jelly doughnut filled gut of his. Gross pig.

Cecil Thomas said...

I'd like to give a dozen red roses to Tracie Hunter. While I'm at it, I'd like to send another dozen roses to the hacks at the Enquirer who refuse to report on mine and Tracie's special friendship.

Princess Margaret said...

As thee most charming and elegant skilled professional woman in all of Hamilton County Republican politics, I received a great deal of attention on Valentines Day. None of it was from any of those fat, smelly, disgusting, inbred west siders.

Young Drunk Republican Women of Cincinnati said...

OMG! We had a great time on VD! LOL! VD, get it? We're just so much fun aren't we? Who cares about all that political crap? Time to get our drink on!

Tax Hikin Rick Bryan said...

The best V-Day gift I ever gave was a 25% Earnings Tax hike to the fine workers and citizens of Blue Ash.

Virg's scourge said...

Did you guys hear about that stupid woman from the Sharonville Republican Club who tried to accuse Jonathan Dever of raising taxes in multiple communities. It turns out that these "tax increases" were actually Joint economic development districts; oh, and that Dever had nothing to do with a single one of them. Didn't vote for them, didn't endorse them, didn't do any legal work on their behalf, etc.

When asked about those facts, the stupid RINO witch had nothing to say for herself. I guess the "chef" didn't fed her enough bullshit talking points.

Never mind that her candidate Rick Bryan actually raised the earnings tax 25%, endorsed a huge county-wide Sales Tax hike, and helped Cincinnati with their wasteful streetcar.

Rick's Picks said...

We have to do everything we can to destroy the Tea Party interloper trying to steal this nomination from our good friend Rick Bryan. Only Rick Bryan can win in November. We tried the Tea Party thing twice. It didn't work, even with a district tailor-made for a Tea Partier. We must destroy this Tea Party interloper politically, personally, and professionally. All in the name of Republican Party unity, of course.

Chef Boy-Ar-Dini said...

OK, so maybe that didn't go over so well, but we've put so much stuff out there, some of it will stick. That Tea Party whack job who just moved to the 28th District has no business running for this spot.