Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Cincinnati covers sex change operations

Dear fellow tax hikers across the gender spectrum, we are delighted to report that the City of Cincinnati has decided to cover sex change operations for its employees!

Are you a man desiring to be a woman?  A butch who wants to be a man?  Or maybe you just want to experiment.  If you work for Cincinnati you are in luck!  You can have your very own sex change operation, courtesy of Cincinnati taxpayers.

This change was initiated by City Manager Scott Stiles and City Councilman Chris Seelbach, and signed by Councilmen P.G. Sittenfeld, Wendell Young, Yvette Simpson, and David Mann (or is it David Woman).  Stiles says this move "keeps the City competitive as an employer."

Because we all know that Cincinnati can't recruit workers unless they know they can get a free sex change. 

This policy is said to cover "medically necessary" transgender procedures.  At first we asked ourselves what is a medically necessary sex change but eventually we figured it out. 

If you're a guy who watches QVC, then you have a medical need for a sex change operation.

If you're a woman with 10 or more pieces of Birkenstock apparel, then there is definitely a man inside you yearning to be free.

And if you're a Councilman who spends most of your time whining about others, and subsidizes sex change surgeries while expecting others to subsidize your icons......

We fully endorse this policy.  If you work for the City of Cincinnati and want to change your sex, everyone else should have to pay for it.

15 comments:

Old McDonald had a farm said...

Cincinnati can't afford to take care of Union Terminal and Music Hall, but they have money for sex change operations?

Cryztal Faulkner, Big-Money Democrat Donor said...

I am so proud to have donated to these progressive Democrats then get myself elected as the Republican state central committeewoman. I hope I can get the rest of the knuckle-dragging right-wingers on the state central committee to embrace taxpayer funding of gender reassignment surgeries.

Mike Moronski said...

I endorse this unvoted policy change - as a "Catholic" of course. And anyone who disagrees with me is a transexualophobic bigot.

Princess Margaret said...

Liposuction for west siders is a much greater priority for Cincinnati.

TheBlessing Dynasty said...

If our family members got sex changes, would term limits still apply to them?

The Notorious P.I.G. Craig Hochscheid said...

Princess Margaret, you better not be talking about me and my fat wife. I resemble that comment!

Ex Wyoming Councilmembers said...

Wyoming must adopt this policy. To be a Wyoming resident in good standing, you must do precisely as ordered by the Human Rights Campaign. If it means spending tax dollars on sex change surgeries, then that is what must be done. Anything less than a 100% rating from the HRC is uncivilized.

Current Governor said...

I have created so many new jobs we have to stay opened minded on ways to create even more jobs so providing these types of alternative lifestyle addadicktome benefits sounds great to me, of course I'll never say that out loud because I want to appeal to everyone just like Chris Cristie

Taxpayers said...

Maybe those on council that support this can all get the surgeries so they can go screw themselves.

PartyLikeIt's2010 said...

Someone still bitter?

Republican Leaders in ORP and RNC said...

We can't oppose this. We must be in favor of anything the Democrats propose so we can start getting Democrat votes while keeping the conservatives in our party fooled into believing we care what they think. In a perfect world, we would get rid of all the Bible-thumping, knuckle-dragging extremists who don't share our enlightened views on sodomy and mass immigration, but we need those votes so we have to keep fooling those simpletons.

Campaign Expert Matheny said...

How come no one wants me working on their campaigns this fall?

David A. Pepper said...

Looks like I left City Council just a little too soon. Just think, if I could have run statewide as a woman I might have pulled a few more votes.

Young Drunk Republican Women of Cincinnati said...

If more men became women, we might get our membership into double figures.

Alex T Mall Cop GOP said...

No comment.

As always.