Monday, November 14, 2011

Governor Taft's Election Review


What a great week we've had. Let's re-cap the recent election results:

- State of Ohio - What an amazing victory for the forces of liberal Republicanism! Governor John Kasich's evil scheme to reign in government spending in Ohio came crashing down at the hands of my good friends in the public sector unions. I am particularly proud of two Republicans for standing up against conservative values - Bill Seitz and Bill Cunningham. When the union goons asked for help B&B were right there to support higher spending and oppose meaningful government reform. Way to go fellas! Nobody should be surprised by this of course. My buddy Bill Seitz voted for every single one of my tax increases while I was Governor, and was a vocal advocate in favor of a HUGE sales tax increase in Hamilton County. Bill Cunningham has been a strong supporter of high taxes and high-tax candidates for years. Bill also supported the massive $777 million Portune/Pepper sales tax increase, and opposed efforts in 2009 to stop the Cincinnati streetcar. Keep up the good work gentlemen!

- City of Cincinnati - I couldn't be more ecstatic about the results in the City of Cincinnati. Every single Conservative candidate was roundly defeated. Amy Murray, GONE! Wayne Lippert, GONE! The only Republican left on Council is Charlie Winburn; a former Democrat who opposed SB 5 and has bragged about his support of President Obama. What more could I ask for? More importantly, the effort to stop the Cincinnati streetcar was defeated at the polls. This leaves the City of Cincinnati free to pursue higher spending and gigantic tax increases.

- The Burbs - Well comrades, it was hit or miss in the suburbs of Hamilton County. Great high-tax Republicans like Virgil Lovitt, Dave Collins, and Rick Bryan were able to hold on to their seats to continue the status quo in their communities. Conversely, that evil conservative Heather Harlow defeated her opponent in Colerain Township. You can't win 'em all I suppose.

I think these results may mean that it's safe for me to return to the public eye comrades. It's heartening to know that there are still so many fellow travelers out there. I look forward to working with liberal, high tax, big spending Republicans to turn Ohio back around to where I left it.

Yours in UNITY,

Governor Bob Taft


real majority said...

We need to stand with Greg "taxhike" Hartmann next year as he wrestles with Todd Portune and Chris Monzel over raising the property tax to pay for the stadiums. Hartmann doesn't have David Pepper's support any longer and will need our calls and letters.

Large LaVerne Collins said...

Tuesday was a great day for RINO hicks like me! My RINO hubby got re-elected, in part because of my masterful work stealing signs from our opponent. Great RINO's like Virgil Lovitt and Rick Bryan got re-elected too! It's too bad we couldn't knock off some of those damn conservatives like Heather Harlow and Dan Unger.

Let me tell you, after I had a few at the bar, I went home and had myself a great box of wine. It felt sooooo good. More taxes, more food, more wine. Yay! xoxo

Lady Lynn Larson said...

Oh LaVerne, I've got to have you over at my house sometime for one of our keggers. All ages welcome!

Princess Margaret said...

OMG, Lynn, I love partying in Wyoming! I especially love that you never have any smelly, inbred West Siders from Colerain. Ugh. Not looking forward to putting up with that the next few years.

Republicans for Higher Taxes said...

Welcome back Governor Taft! We'd like you to stick around and post more often.

Alex T said...

You know, Ohio is a Greek word meaning "people who love to pay taxes."