Monday, December 12, 2011

Bortz for Commissioner - Part 2

Taft Supportz Bortz

Bortz Supportz Liberal Democrats


I'm glad that you've returned to hear my thoughts on what a fantastic choice the Hamilton County Republican Party leadership is making in wooing Charterite Chris Bortz to run as the Republican candidate for County Commissioner against Todd Portune. Yesterday, I chronicled how Bortz Supportz Abortion. Today I want to touch on something equally as important; Chris Bortz's support of liberal Democrats.

As you all know, I prefer liberal Republicans over Democrats, but when those evil conservatives get in the way we sometimes have no choice but to support the other Party. After all, our shared liberal tax and spend values come before Party affiliation. I'm proud to state that Chris Bortz seems to agree with me.

Chris made the excellent decision early on in his political career not to align himself with the Republican Party here in Hamilton County. To do so would have required him to answer to the rascally conservatives that are sadly still in the Party rank and file. Instead, he chose to run as a Charterite, joining fantastic candidates like Roxanne Qualls, Yvette Simpson, and Jim Tarbell. This left Chris free to vote as his liberal heart desired, and also allowed him to support liberal big-government Democrats without fear of reprisal.

Bortz answered the call first by contributing to John Cranley in his Congressional race against that dastardly conservative Steve Chabot. Chris understood even then that the last thing we needed in Washington was a fiscal and social conservative voting against spending increases, and opposing high taxes and the liberal social agenda. I'm equally proud to report that not only did Bortz donate to Cranley, he maxed out and gave the full amount allowable by federal law. That's putting your Daddy's money where your mouth is!

But Bortz's support of liberal Democrats didn't stop there. He also endorsed David Pepper for Hamilton County Commissioner, helping to defeat that miserly conservative Phil Heimlich and hand over the County Commission to a Democrat majority for the first time in several generations. Bortz must have been extremely proud when Pepper rewarded his loyal endorser by immediately voting to raise taxes by nearly $1 Billion without a vote of the people. Bortz must have also been proud when Pepper voted to cut the property tax rollback that was promised to the voters of Hamilton County. After all, Mike Brown needs that money, not the struggling taxpayer! Bortz had to be absolutely beaming when Pepper supported his Streetcar plan, and had to be bursting with joy when Pepper used the Commission seat he had helped him win as a springboard to a Statewide political campaign. Bortz saw a little of himself in Pepper, and did the right thing.

Chris also put his Daddy's money to good use with other good liberal Democrat causes and candidates. He twice gave money to Parsons Brinkerhoff PAC to help them finance a campaign to force the streetcar down the throats of Cincinnati voters. Yes a $1200 donation in support of Mayor Mallory's baby might seem like a lot, but it's pocket change to Chris (and his daddy).

Finally, Chris donated multiple times to the Ohio Law PAC. You might be asking, Who is the Ohio Law PAC ? Well, they gave donations to the campaigns of Ohio Democratic Party Chairman Chris Redfern, disgraced Democratic Attorney General Marc Dann, Representative Connie Pillach, State Senator Eric Kearney, Democratic Ohio House Minority Leader Armond Budish, as well as the Cuyahoga House Democrats PAC, the House Democratic Caucus Fund, the Committee for a Democratic Majority, the Senate Democratic Victory Fund, the Ohio Senate Democratic Caucus, the Ohio House Democratic Caucus. These were all good causes worthy of Republican support.

Let's not rest on our laurels comrades. Although Chris Bortz's liberal record seems unassailable, his coronation by the Hamilton County RINO Party can still be thwarted by those filthy conservative nutjobs in the Party rank and file. In fact, it has already happened once before. In 2007 Bortz sought the endorsement of the Republican Party for his re-election to City Council, but was rebuffed when he appointed liberal, tax and spend, big government, pro-streetcar, social leftist Roxanne Qualls to fill a vacant seat on City Council. We all know that Qualls has been doing great things for the City ever since, but those conservatives that are sadly still in our Party see it differently. Do not underestimate them. We must strenuously and vocally support Bortz for this position.

You see comrades, Bortz truly is one of us. Don't let the Charterite label fool you. He IS a liberal Republican. It is rare that we get an opportunity to support truly liberal Republicans these days. We must do so with Chris Bortz. Again, I strongly endorse liberal Republican Chris Bortz for Hamilton County Commissioner, and you should too! Send a message to the folks down at 700 Walnut that we fully support their return to liberal Republicanism! Call Chairman Triantafilou and tell him he must support Chris Bortz for County Commissioner!

Yours in Unity,

Governor Bob Taft*

*It should be fairly evident to anyone with half a brain that this entry is intended to be a parody post from our former RINO Governor Bob Taft. Unfortunately though, the facts presented in the blog post are all too true.


Ashtray Corattiyil said...

This is totally awesome! We Democrats in the GOP must stick together. Bortz for Commissioner!

Republicans for Higher Taxes said...

Thank you Governor Taft for another excellent update. We hope you keep posting here.

Ashwin said...

Bort$ is my kind of Republican!

Ghizzy said...

Ummmm, What's the problem?

Alex T said...

Bortz is the best candidate his money could buy. Ash and I couldn't be more happy. After all, with Uncle Carl gone we need to get some new sponsors so we don't miss (another) payday.