Tuesday, December 27, 2011

LA initiative mandates condom use for porn stars

Dear fellow tax hikers, for one posting we will diverge from our usual obsession with raising taxes to raise a matter of utmost importance.  An initiative from the city of Los Angeles will appear on the June ballot that will require porn stars to wear condoms when filming inside the city.  Talk about an anal proposal!  This could be a real drag for the transvestites.  

We stand with the Fluffers Union and encourage our followers in LA to vote against this foul-tasting plan.  We want to know the name of the dick who thought this was a good idea.

We hope the petitioners were wearing gloves when collecting signatures.  After all, you have to be safe when screwing others.  

An initiative backer was quoted saying:
"If you're going to blow things up, you have to have the fire department involved."
We wonder what women and gay men think of that?  The fire department should not have to be present for a basic porn act. 

Furthermore, a team of inspectors will be hired to ensure compliance.
Under the proposal, fees may be charged to "provide for inspectors to ensure compliance with conditions on film permits."
If this passes we would like to volunteer our inspection services.  We would be overjoyed to conduct up-close prick inspections to check for condom usage.

In spite of the enlarging opportunities this could present for us, we must endorse a no vote.  Anyone who votes for this initiative can blow me.


Dirty Sanchez said...

This no good.

Leslie Jizz said...

I am with you guys 100%.

Greg Hartman said...

I still owe a lot of money to people out in California. I don't even want to talk about it.

Lady Lord Lynn Larson said...

I'll drink to that. But I'm not going to swallow.

Shawn Baker's lover said...

So that's where my sweetie has been lately, California! I saw that picture of him with Bortz and I got worried.

Ben Dover said...

Screw this.

GOP Wannabe Chris Bortz said...

This is bullcrap. I can't get behind this. I did get behind same-sex domestic partner benefits when I was a City Clowncilman though. I got behind the gays and to show their gratitude they got behind me and pushed hard.

Mr. Bortz said...

Condom usage does prevent a lot of accidents.

Princess Margaret said...

What a great idea. Way to promote safety and hygiene. Besides, only perverted smelly inbred west siders watch porn.