Jim Tarbell - 2014 Winner of the Year

- co-authored by Krista Ramsey

Dear fellow tax hikers, there were many winners in the historic 2014 election. None greater than County Commission write-in candidate Jim Tarbell.  Tarbell's candidacy was about anger - anger that the County Commissioners didn't want to raise Hamilton County's Sales Tax to renovate the Cincinnati-owned Music Hall. 

Tarbell channeled that anger to get a commanding 6.6% of the vote, losing to Chris Monzel by over 50 points.  Look at all that anger!  By achieving less than 7% of the vote and finishing a distant 3rd out of 3 candidates, Tarbell achieved many aspects of a win and demonstrated himself to be the biggest winner of 2014. 

While we're very proud of Tarbell and his 6%, we feel compelled to name Micah Kamrass as a very close second-place. He's a rising star.  He raised a ton of money.  Everyone supported him and he guaranteed to win big.  His campaign was so well run.  He was even a Student Government President.  And as Krista keeps telling is, he is sooooo dreamy!

All that was good enough to get Kamrass 44% of the vote in a landslide loss.  But as The Enquirer was quick to remind us, we'll count it as a win anyways.  If Micah could have gotten to 47 or 48%, we would have declared him the landslide victor.  Please join us in honoring these two great winners. 

2014 Winners and Losers

Jim Sumner, teaching Rick Bryan volunteers how to lose an election

Dear fellow tax hikers, it's great to be back!  This site has been dormant for the last two weeks as we have been fighting a major depression caused by the successes of State Representative Jonathan Dever and The National Champion Ohio State Buckeyes.  But we'll be fine, as long as we stay on our medication.

Our first project of the year is to honor the best (and worst) of 2014.  Those who made their mark deserve to have their efforts noted.

And unlike the Oscars, we allow minorities to be nominated.  By the end of the month we will announce our award winners.  Do you tax hikers have an opinion or two?  Just tell us!

State Representative Jonathan Dever

This was a tragic moment for us tax hikers.

How did we let this happen?

Sharonville joins Hamilton County Public Health

Dear fellow tax hikers, disturbing news has come out of Sharonville as their Mayor and City Council have decided to close the city's health department and instead utilize the services of Hamilton County Public Health.  These people don't understand - they are "losing control", whatever that means.

Even worse, this move saves Sharonville taxpayers approximately $250,000.  Instead of paying around $278,000 per year to run their own Health Department, they are paying Hamilton County $28,000 for almost exactly the same services.  That is what we tax hikers call a bad deal. 

Perhaps the most appalling part of this decision is their diss against the fine City of Springdale, one of the few left that has their own Health Department.  Mayor Hardman ruled out merging Sharonville's Health Department with Springdale's and said:

“At best, we would see a $67,000 savings per year,” the mayor said. “Springdale has some flaws and I would have concerns about getting into bed with them.”

That is an outrageous statement.  We would be delighted to jump into bed with Royal Doyle Webster. 

We stand with the citizens of Sharonville who oppose this decision and are fighting to overturn it.  Specifically, we encourage all Sharonville citizens to sign the referendum to reverse this horrible plan.  Why spend just $28,000 when you can spend $278,000 for the same thing? 

Expand the streetcar

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are finally getting our streetcar in Cincinnati!  But we can't stop there.  As we have editorialized for years, we need a network of streetcars and we need a Streetcar Tax to fund it.

We applaud the Believe in Cincinnati Ryan Messer PAC for pursuing those next steps.  Last week us pro-streetcar forces gathered to tell the City of Cincinnati that we want the streetcar expanded.

And we brought some added firepower as we were joined by some dude named Ozie Davis, AND The University of Cincinnati Student Government President Christina Beer.  You know there are few political forces on this planet more potent than a Student Government President.  Our favorite candidate of 2014 Micah Kamrass would back us 100%. 

We find it fitting that The UC Student Government President's last name is "Beer".  It made for a perfect campaign.  It's impossible to lose an election on UC's campus when all you have to do is tell people to Vote for Beer. 

We're getting a streetcar.  And we're getting drunk.  Let's keep a great thing going.  More Streetcar More Beer! 

Blue Ash Council beats another horse

Dear fellow tax hikers, Blue Ash City Council has defeated another miniature horse.  This important win, combined with the other mini-horse that they beat earlier this year, mark the only two political victories of the year for Blue Ash Council Members. 

Councilmen Lee Czerwonka and Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan can't defeat Jonathan Dever, but they will dominate a miniature horse that can't defend itself.

This horse's owner works as an aide for special needs students in the Sycamore Schools (which includes all of Blue Ash).  On weekends he retrieves the miniature horse that he keeps in Mt. Orab and comes back into the district to help the kids who respond well to the horse.

Because he stopped to take a whiz at his Blue Ash home before returning the miniature horse to Mt. Orab, he was prosecuted and convicted of "harboring" a banned animal.  This is obviously a guy who needs to be stopped.  It's ok to help disabled children, just not in Blue Ash. 

We support Blue Ash Council.  Mayor Czerwonka and Rick Bryan understand the need to put handicapped children - and those who serve them - in their place.  If this guy wants to continue helping the disabled, he can do so somewhere else. 

Wyoming's 25% Income Tax hike

Dear fellow tax hikers, one of this year's few pieces of good news comes from the City of Wyoming which recently raised its Income Tax by 25%!  The lucky citizens of Wyoming now get to pay 1% of their income to the city instead of the paltry 0.8% they were paying.  This is in addition to the 1.25% they pay to the Wyoming City Schools.

This excellent tax increase is needed for important programs.....such as giving away $713,000 subsidies to a single restaurant.  When you're a City Councilman in a smallish bedroom community and feel like giving away more $700,000 subsidies to your closest friends, you need new revenues to make it happen. 

We applaud Wyoming City Council for unanimously implementing this big tax hike.  They will do great things with this money.  In fact, we hear Mahogany's is looking for a new home. 

Dever officially whips Kamrass

Dear fellow tax hikers, the Hamilton County Board of Elections released the official results of the 2014 Election and sadly the news remains just as bad as it was on Election Night.  Our efforts to utilize Provisional Ballots and Common Core Math failed to manufacture a victory for our #1 candidate Micah Kamrass. 

In the end, our enemy Jonathan Dever earned 55.7% of the vote to defeat Kamrass by 11.4%.  We still cannot believe this happened.  Our expert sources assured us that Kamrass would win in a landslide and we believed them.

How could Kamrass lose?  He was being advised by the greatest legal mind of all time Mark Painter AND Campaign Expert PhD Julie Matheny.  He was further supported by wise, angry old men Walt Reuszer and Royal Doyle Webster, in addition to bitter old ladies Claudia Harrod, Barbara Nickol, Kerrie Hollihan, and Christine Weber.

With these incredibly brilliant people advising Micah and all the bipartisan support he said he had, we ask you tax hikers to tell us - how could Dever possibly win? 

350-pound slob on scooter tries to steal Walmart steaks

Dear fellow tax hikers, even with our elite writing skills we could never create a story this great.  A 5'5", 350-pound man was arrested for trying to steal 5 Ribeye steaks from Walmart.  While riding one of Walmart's infamous Fat People Scooters, lardo attempted to ride out of the store sitting on the 5 steaks. 

“Suspect sat on the steaks and exited the store passing all points of sale, without attempting to pay for said merchandise,” cops noted.

We bet those were the most tenderized pieces of steak ever.  It brings new meaning to the term "rump roast". 

"Due to his size, the suspect was cuffed using two pairs of cuffs."

We just hope they didn't put the product back on the shelf.  Unless they sanitized and deodorized it.

Tell us tax hikers, do we know any 5'5" 350-pound losers around here who might attempt this crime? 

2014 Election's real winner - Micah Kamrass

Enquirer Participation Trophy

Dear fellow tax hikers, on Election Day we were crushed when it appeared that evil conservative Jonathan Dever crushed our liberal candidate Micah Kamrass. We were assured by our expert sources that Kamrass was guaranteed to win in a landslide, but the unofficial vote count shows Dever with the 56-44% win. 

But thanks to The Cincinnati Enquirer, who like us has spent the last 6 months openly campaigning for Kamrass, we have come around to realize that Micah was the real winner.

A seat in the Ohio House may not be among them, but there were still some big wins for first-time candidate Micah Kamrass in last week’s election.

Kamrass deserves much more than a Participation Trophy for all he accomplished this year.  We applaud writer Krista Ramsey, who previously canonized respected Judge Tracie Hunter, for recognizing Micah's victory. 

Kamrass got over 44% of the vote!  All of you need to stop what you're doing and show some respect for that amazing performance.  The combination of the Kamrass campaign, us, and the Enquirer did something special this year - even if Dever won this tossup race by double-digits.

Dever supporter insults our movement

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are very upset at the Dever supporter who dropped by our site last night to taunt those of us who thought Dever had no chance of winning.  According to unofficial returns he won 56-44%.  

We want you to read these comments and get mad.  This is the motivation we need to win one of our big future projects - Dump Dever 2016.  Dever has no chance of getting re-elected (just like he had no chance to defeat Tax Hikin' Rick Bryan or Micah Kamrass).

************************************************************

 

Crazy Kamrass Quotes said...

Let's review all the accurate predictions and spot-on analysis from the Kamrass supporters this year:

Kamrass for the WIN said...
"The 28th won't even be close."
- You're right, it wasn't.

Justice said...
"If you've spoken with Dever at all in the last week, you know that he knows he is going to lose."
- I'd suggest you listen more closely next time, or become a better liar.

"Micah Kamrass is the choice of everyone except a few fringe wacko nutjobs who love Dever's hate. Jonathan Dever is a mentally ill psychopath who takes advice from the angriest loser in all of politics."
- Do you think any Dever campaign advisors are angry right now? Someone from the Kamrass campaign needs to quit projecting.

Blue Ash Bomber said...
"One person who will never win this award is that carpet-bagging, negative-campaigning Tea Partier Jonathan Tyler Dever because he will never be elected to anything"
- Sorry, what were you saying?

Toss Out said...
"Anyone who thinks this race is still a toss up is living in serious denial. The nasty campaign run by Dever, I mean by the Republican Party with absolutely no input from Dever whatsoever is turning voters away from the GOP in drives."
- And we certainly can see that was true.

Rejection said...
"After all the lies, all the smears, all the venomous hatred being spewed by Dever and the GOP is going to leave a bad taste in the mouths of voters for a very long time. Dever isn't just sinking himself. He is turning large numbers of suburban voters against the entire Republican Party."
- Maybe this is happening in a shithole like Springdale, but this year suburban voters couldn't find enough Republicans to support, including Dever.

Let's Face It said...
"Democrat Micah Kamrass has the party unified behind him.

 Democrat Micah Kamrass has nearly $100,000 in the bank. 

Tea Party Republican Jonathan Dever just ran a nasty campaign that greatly offended much of the Republican organization in Blue Ash, Sharonville and Reading, three communities which Republicans need to win big in order to have a chance.

 Tea Party Republican Jonathan Dever has almost no cash left. 



So, instead of a Republican tax-hiker winning this seat, it will once again stay in the Democrats' column with their own tax-hiker.



Once again, Republicans' bitter infighting and complete political ineptitude hands the Democrats a seat on a golden platter and will give Democrats yet another launching pad for an ambitious politician."
- And this, ladies and gents, is what a dumbass writes.

Simply Amazing said...
"The Dever campaign is so bad that Campaign Expert Matheny will finally win one, with help from such upstanding citizens as Jerry Springer, Stan Chesley, and Al Sharpton."
- Tell me more about how bad the Dever campaign was.

The Former Future said...
"What an amazing year! I went from candidate to campaign manager to campaign groupie while working so hard to make a difference in the lives of children at a still-undisclosed location. It might seem like a fall from grace to certain self-righteous hypocrites. Even so, I'll have had a better year than Dever."
- So I guess you won your Judicial race Susannah? 

That's Right said...
"Dever won a primary by a mere 66 votes, with a last minute attack mailer that Rick Bryan had no way of responding to. It was effective, to be sure. The problem is that none of that has worked against Micah Kamrass and this time Dever is alienating Republicans he needs n order to win. Face it, the nasty campaign run by a nasty person is toxic in the 28th,"
- For Dever to win by 12 points something sure worked. Like not listening to you, for example.

Boss Burke said...
"Hey, guys, thanks for making it so easy for us to keep the 28th in Democratic hands, and for giving us a shot in the 27th now, too."
- It was our pleasure Bossman. Now you've got Micah to shine shoes and run errands full time.

Ohio House Democrats said...
"Thanks for letting us keep the 28th. So glad you're comfortable having the distinction of the most Republican district actually represented by a Democrat. Please, keep nominating those extremist nutjobs"
- Please keep nominating those electable candidates like Micah Kamrass, Joe Otis, and Chris Redfern.

Let's Face It said...
"Micah Kamrass has 20 times as much cash on hand as the Republican nominee, who is too extreme for the Tea Party. He won despite being slightly outspent because of huge last-minute smear campaign. He faces a much wider funding Gap in the general, and he will not have the luxury of his cronies running such a nasty last-minute campaign, since COAST lacks the resources for effective general election messaging. Coast and the Tea Party can get their extremist candidates through a primary but not the general when so many people vote and when so many people reject the last minute smear tactics and extremist messages COAST pumps out. Turns out, this candidate is too extreme for the Tea Party. He will get little if any help from he state party and even most members of he local party want nothing to do with him. Yet another winnable seat taken away from the Republicans by conservative extremist evangelicals."
- Blah blah blah. The new guard defeated Rick Bryan, get over your bitterness.

Trust Me said...
"Micah Kamrass will get more votes from Republicans than any Democrat besides Dusty Rhodes ever has.

This is what happens when a weakened Republican Party kowtows to the extremists and doesn't support one of our own. 

This is what happens when the Party looks the other way when their right flank campaigns dishonestly and their candidate sneaks in on a smear campaign.

This is what happens when the Party acts like none of the above ever happened and trot out their standard line about supporting the primary's winner, even though no one seriously believes that they do. 

I hope the Ohio House Republican Operating Campaign is taking note of the shenanigans conducted by the carpet-bagging extremists, learns from past extremist nutjob candidates we've shamefully selected as our nominee, and doesn't waste $100,000 on the 28th District this time. Find some winnable races elsewhere in the state to offset the fact that in Hamilton County the inmates are running the asylum"
- Please keep sharing your wisdom with us.

Tim Burke said...
"So proud of Alex for seeing to it that an unelectable candidate was nominated for this seat, yet again. Thanks for letting us keep the 28th. We're really enjoying our control of the sheriff's office, as you may have noticed.


Signed,

Your Good Friend Tim Burke" 
- We were happy to take this seat back from you. 
Signed,
Dever supporters everywhere

Oh No said...
"Deceitful Dever's past is catching up to him in a big way. He won't even show his face in public by November 4th."
- Do you think he'll show up for his swearing-in ceremony? I know you won't.

Bitter Is as Bitter Does said...
"The only bitter people are the angry lonely Republican white male sociopaths who have never been able to win in the 28th and never will, because bigotry is never going to get a majority here. It doesn't matter if it's the angry wing nuts in Columbus or he jobless losers here in Cincinnati. Voters here aren't buying the hate you're selling."
- C'mon, don't talk about Rick Bryan's supporters like that!

Here We Go Again said...
"Thank you, Republicans, for backing yet another loser if a candidate for a very winnable seat."
- Yes, thank you to losers like Julie Matheny, Mark Painter, Walt Reuszer, and Royal Doyle Webster for messing up Micah's campaign instead of Dever's. We couldn't have done it without you.

Blue Rock said...
"All across the United States, a red wave is building, Republicans will gain in the US. House. The GOP will pick up a slew of Senate seats. Elsewhere in Ohio, it is looking like a Reoublican rout, thanks in no small part to The Wreck of the Edward FitzGerald. Republicans are looking great from sea to shining sea.

Except in Hamilton County, that is.

Republicans are set to lose a 57% index seat-- yet again-- because the party nominated an angry, hateful, divisive person who won't tell us what he will do because then the voters would really reject him.

 At the same time, Republicans will lose the probate court judgeship because they out up a socially awkward and uninspiring judge with no name ID outside of Green Township to run against a man with universal name recognition who is still seen as a beloved conservative on the west side. Way to go."
- Now I know who to get my advice from.

Blue Rock said...
"Micah Kamrass can take a million dollars from Satan himself and still win this race. The reason? His opponent is a mean, nasty, divisive individual who actually turns off the people he meets during campaigning door to door. Dever is the worst candidate for a competitive office I've seen the GOP put up in more than 30 years. It isn't that Dever is conservative. Chris Monzel and Steve Chabot are to the right of the center of their constituents, no doubt about it. Dever is running a nasty campaign with a caustic personality. He is the male version of Jean Schmidt. 

Thanks to the cosmic ineptitude of Chairman Alex, the 28th will be a blue rock that can withstand the red wave otherwise washing over the United States."
- Oh, you're still here Blue Rock? Please keep sending us your great analysis.

No Laughing Matter said...
"A sneaky last minute mailer isn't going to work anymore after the nastiness Dever has spewed in the general. I am glad to have sat the primary out because Rick wasn't going to win this either. The simple fact is that the Republicans can't win close races like this because three don't get good candidates and don't run good campaigns. They are the Ohio StateBuckeyes of politics. Three win races they are supposed to win but they are too dysfunctional to win he close ones anymore."
- Well let's see - Dever did win, and so did Ohio State. You're 0-2, just like the rest of those "Rick Bryan Republicans for Kamrass" losers.

Here We Go Again said...
"Republican attempts to smear their way into winning the 28th will fail... again."
- Thankfully the Democratic smear machine failed.

Dever with big win over Kamrass

Dear fellow tax hikers, we have finally calmed down enough to start reviewing the latest crushing defeat that our movement has suffered.  After our 2011 Tax Hiker of the Year Rick Bryan blew a big lead earlier this year to lose the Republican nomination to our enemy Jonathan Dever, we thought for sure we had a winner in young Micah Kamrass. 

We can't believe we're sitting here after the election bemoaning another big loss.  We were assured by our expert sources that the race was over and Kamrass was headed to a big victory.  But we didn't just lose, we got destroyed.

Kamrass was immensely qualified for this position.  At 25 years old, he's spent months working for Tim Burke performing important tasks like fetching coffee and shining Boss Burke's shoes.  And, Kamrass has one qualification that few will ever have - he was a student government president in college!  

We couldn't even win Blue Ash.  Shouldn't the endorsements of ancient Wheezer Reuszer and Christine Weber have at least delivered Blue Ash?  Or did the miniature horse that Blue Ash Council keeps attacking gallop out of town with hundreds of our votes? 

Now we want to hear your opinions.  Why did our boy Kamrass get crushed in a race he was favored to win?  How did Dever win both a primary election he had no chance of winning and a general election he couldn't possibly win?  And what happened in Blue Ash?  Tell us your thoughts.