Monday, April 8, 2013

Cincinnati adding another Streetcar Executive

Dear fellow tax hikers, with streetcar funding still in doubt, Cincinnati City Council will be voting to hire John Deatrick to be the new Executive Director for the streetcar project at a salary of up to $188,000/year.  Since this project will take at least 3 more years to complete, you can now add another $600,000 to the streetcar funding deficit.  

Today a majority of Council Members have agreed to: 1) create this important and expensive position, and 2) eliminate their rule prohibiting its employees from double-dipping, which is necessary to clear the way for Mr. Deatrick's hiring. 

Most importantly, Council is not mandating that the city hire someone for this position who is actually alive, which given the photographic evidence above, is a good thing. 

If you tax hikers are asking, "wait, doesn't the city already have a Streetcar Manager?", the answer is yes.  As reported by WCPO in November 2010:

Chris Eilerman on Thursday was named an Assistant to the City Manager. His sole responsibility will be managing the streetcar project.

According to both of today's articles that we've previously linked, Eilerman will remain on the job.  We have spent the day investigating what exactly both of these highly-paid streetcar executives will be doing with their time.  We have found the answer.  Their new job descriptions will read as follows:

Chris Eilerman - spend 40 hours/week picking his ass.
John Deatrick - supervise Mr. Eilerman.

We believe this is a fantastic use of $300,000 per year of taxpayer funds.  We believe having two highly-paid executives managing a stalled project with major funding gaps is the best way to get this moving forward.  This streetcar is going to happen and we can't wait until we can blog our first post live from a functioning Cincinnati Streetcar.  Welcome aboard Mr. Deatrick!


Campaign Expert Matheny said...

Pick me pick me! It's not to late to pick me. My experience running a mostly-empty office complex prepares me well to run a streetcar.

F. Lee Czerwonka said...

You mean after our dishonest, secretive, underhanded scheme to help fund Cincinnati's streetcar, they are still short of the necessary funds?

A Family Values Republican said...

See, that's why Republicans are so much better. We don't create make-work jobs with taxpayer funds for half-dead people. Unless they're related to someone or something. But that's totally different because Go Bombers! Or Lancers or Crusaders, or something.

Chrissy Seelbach said...

In all of this fervor over the parking fiasco I hope people will pay a little less attention to the fact that I still fully support the Cincinnati streetcar, which is bankrupting the City. I'm really relying on the stupidity and short memory spans of Cincinnati voters this November.

Hon Richard P. DeWine said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hon Richard P. DeWine said...

Anyone remember when Chris Eilerman was my chief of staff when I was on Cincinnati City-Clowncil? That was my days of hanging around with Alicia Reece. Then I suddnely became COAST darlings. Weird, really.

Kathy Mohr said...

I pay 2.1percent of my salary to the Citymof Cincinnati but won't say a peep because I am too busy running a Colerain Township fantasy government in exile with my other bitter, angry defeated politicians and ousted bureaucrats. Love ya, Davie.

Lady Lynn Larson said...

I'll drink to this.

Lifelong West Side Conservative Republican Mike Robison, Now Kissing Donkey Rear End said...

Hey, this scheme totally reminds me of the good old days in the county courthouse where we would create high-paying jobs for people all the time, just based on whom they knew and to whom they were related. I miss those days, but, as I like to say, there's a new Sheriff in town. Time to pretend to be fiscally conservative. This means I might have to do some real work when I am on taxpayer time now. Yikes. Funny, Alex doesn't text me for last-minute beers and tix to Reds games anymore.