Dear fellow tax hikers, welcome to Matt Borges Week at Republicans for Higher Taxes! Victory is so close we can taste it. We are going to work overtime to ensure that our favorite criminal is elected this Friday to be the new Ohio Republican Party Chairman.
We have endorsed Matt Borges because he is a convicted criminal who we believe can return our party to the high-taxing, Culture of Corruption days we enjoyed under Bob Taft, Tom Noe, and Betty Montgomery. Also, having a criminal in charge of the party will immensely help our efforts to lure the convicted criminal vote into the GOP.
In recent days some elected officials have expressed concern about Matt's tax liens. We must admit, as a high-tax movement we naturally don't like it when people don't pay their taxes. But we are delighted to learn that Matt has started paying off those taxes since the liens went public.
Our wisdom in standing behind Matt was proven correct. The best way to get Matt Borges to pay his taxes was to dangle a high-ranking position in front of him, just like the best way to get rich Democrats to pay their taxes is to appoint them to President Obama's Cabinet. Please stand with us during this busy week that will end in a Chairman Matt Borges.