Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Colerain BB Gun Bandit to stand trial

Dangerous crime in progress!

Dear fellow tax hikers, we are proud to report that Colerain Township's notorious BB Gun Bandit is being ordered to stand trial to for his heinous crime.  As we reported last month, the dastardly Dominic Gaines posted a photograph of himself holding his kid and there was an Assault BB Gun in the picture too!  That is obviously a serious crime. 

If the Colerain Police were to let this one go, then they would also have to let parents photograph their kids in swimming pools, cars, or beaches and that could be even more deadly.  This is why Colerain needs to raise property taxes for their Police Department.  Without higher taxes, the police would have to stop scanning Facebook for photos of Assault BB Guns and cars, and focus on fighting other crimes.

We applaud our legal system for vigorously pursuing this case.  Everyone should be proud of the Colerain Police Department for their hard work in discovering this crime and apprehending the culprit.  We thank Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters for prosecuting this bandit.  We also thank Judge Melissa Powers for refusing to dismiss this case and ordering the suspect to stand trial.  This is a judicial system at its finest. 


The Hart said...

If they had elected ME trustee or fiscal officer, things like this would not happen. See, I would have been able to increase the taxable value of property in Colerain Township by 500 million dollars and we wouldn't even need to have a police levy.

My taxes are too damn low said...

See, this is why we need to raise property taxes for a new Police levy in Colerain. What would happen if Colerain could no longer arrest people for this crime?

Green Township Republicans said...

We love it when those dimwits in Colerain do stupid things like this. Why can't everyone be as perfect as us?

Flipper said...

Westsiders will be interested to know that Judge Powers no longer even lives in the Municipal Court District that she was elected to represent. How long were you going to keep that secret from us Alex?

Colerain Voter said...

Yes, why focus on something as trivial as someone trying to kidnap children when there are Facebook photos to ban!