Sunday, October 27, 2013

Colerain Trustee Endorsements

Dear fellow tax hikers, tonight we begin our suburban endorsements.  Many of you don't live in the City of Cincinnati, and your community is just as important to us as Cincinnati is.  We were deeply disappointed earlier this year when the Trustees, including Dennis Deters and Jeff Ritter, decided against a tax hike for this November

There are three Trustees in Colerain Township, and we proudly endorse Joe Wolterman, Greg Insco, and Bernie Fiedeldey to be your next township Trustees.  We urge all Colerain tax hikers to vote for all 3 candidates to ensure your vote is maximized. 

Former Trustee Joe Wolterman has been running for office since the Stone Age, first winning an election in 1985.  Since then he has been a frequent candidate for various offices- sometimes winning, sometimes losing (mostly losing).  Joe has increased taxes numerous times and supported school tax hikes as any good township trustee would do.  Why limit yourself to just hiking your own taxes when you can help other government agencies hike theirs too?  Joe can't wait to return to office so he can immediately get to work implementing a brand new property tax increase.

Another very impressive statesman is first-time candidate Greg Insco.  Greg is best known for his failed audition on Survivor and his surprise appearance on Hardcore Pawn.  When he isn’t trying to get on TV, Greg is a summer camp counselor for Colerain Township Parks.  Well, he was until those nasty trustees wouldn’t raise taxes to keep the program going.  Greg claims he was going to pay for the summer parks program out of his own pocket.  We are sure that a TV star of this magnitude could easily afford that.  The trustees would still have been stuck paying the insurance and said no.  Greg then announced his candidacy for trustee.  Vote for the 'sco, he'll raise taxes and bring back day camp.

Finally, we urge all tax hikers to cast their third vote for former Trustee Bernie Fiedeldey.  He also wants to raise your property taxes.  Even better, Bernie was caught violating state ethics laws in 4 consecutive years by voting to hire his grandchildren for Township jobs.  As our long-time readers know, we love it when elected officials use tax dollars to serve friends and family instead of the taxpayers. 

Whatever you do, we want you to vote against incumbent Trustees Jeff Ritter and Dennis Deters.  They have refused to raise property taxes, even when we've told them too.  Deters actually made the appalling comment, "Government has to consider all the options before you say 'we need a levy.'"  No it doesn't!  It's time to raise property taxes now, and that means voting for Wolterman, Insco, and Fiedeldey for Colerain Township Trustee. 


weekend at Bernie Fiedeldeys said...

Glad someone FINALLY endorsed me! I still owe Alex a good swift kick in the pocketbook!

Greg Insco said...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for the endorsement! It means so much to me. You know, I was going to get the Northwest Press endorsement, Jennie Key even told me, but the corporate honchos said there wouldn't be any endorsements this year. I needed this one big-time then. In just 8 days, I will be elected Colerain Township Trustee. I mean, there is no way I can't be elected at this point, because of all the signs I have out and all my Facebook friends who adore me so much. Yes, the signs are mostly on the right-of-way and at foreclosed and abandoned properties and yes most of my Facebook fans live outside of Colerain and even outside of Ohio. But don't worry. The only way I can lose is if those mean, nasty evil Republicans cheat.

Did you all see the threatening letter they sent me the day after I announced I was running? They included copies of my very public criminal record showing all of the housing code violations and homes that I flipped that ended up in foreclosure. Those mean and nasty people. But hey Anderson Cooper wants to have me on his show so I can talk about how nasty and disgusting politics is in a place like Colerain.

8 more days people and then we can bring back the summer camp park rangers and have real fireworks on the 4th of July again. And you know what that means... HIGHER TAXES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rusty Nail aka Jason Stewart said...

You bastards should be tortured in jail for what you've done to my good friends Mike Moronski and Greg Insco. Yes, I've never met either of those people because I'm a figment of someone's imagination, but they're my "good friends", so shame on you!

Colerain Park Ranger said...

Greg Insco's big issue is spending money we don't have so he can get back his day camp job. I think there are bigger issues facing Colerain Township.

Kathy Mohr said...

Colerain Park Ranger is right. There are MUCH bigger issues in Colerain Township! Why do you think I make over 200 public records request every year???

Why do you think this crusade is all-consuming, day and night?

Why do you think I make public records demands from my own government job's email account in the middle of the work day and I totally get a free pass on that from my boss?

Just look right here. I am sure that the 3500 hours of staff and township attorney time I take up each year is well worth it.

This is all very serious stuff and has absolutely nothing to do with getting my clock cleaned after 16 years in office by a 24-year-old rookie candidate!!!!

Princess Margaret said...

You should have a cocktail party downtown or out in Kenwood to honor all they people you're endorsing. I need to go shopping again. I'll be glad to come, unless you endorse any fat, smelly, disgusting, inbred west siders.

DereKKK Bowman said...

Is it as easy to buy off black voters in Colerain as it is for John Cranley to in Cincinnati?

Alex T Mall Cop GOP said...

Hey, have you all noticed how I am trying to take the focus off the way we don't have a mayoral candidate and only one really serious council candidate who is really a Republican, by endlessly facbooking about our great candidates in Colerain Township, Anderson Township, Norwood, and how could I ever forget my good friend George Bruenneman running for the Oak Hills Board of Education? We are going to totally rock the suburbs this year! I mean, who even cares about the city of Cincinnati anymore? It's old news. It's only about 40% of the entire county.

Greg Insco said...

In one week, I will be elected as a Colerain Township trustee. It's only a matter of time.

I have been told by so many that I will win, there is really no way I cannot, unless those mean, nasty, evil Tea Party Republicans steal it from me.

All my Facebook friends are telling me I am going to win.

All my real-life friends are telling me I am going to win.

Political experts like Kathy Mohr, Joe Wolterman, and Tom Hart know I am going to win too, and they know everything there is about winning elections in Colerain Township.

I even have people coming up to me and telling me they're voting for the tea party Republicans, but they know I am going to win.

I am going to win because the tea party Republican trustees cut my summer parks program and sent me threatening letters with public information in them, and Anderson Cooper going to put me on TV so the whole country can see just how evil those mean, nasty tea party Republicans are.

That's why I am going to win. Unless those evil, nasty mean Tea Party Republicans cheat and steal this election from me.