We start with the champion tax-hiking couple Jim and Pam Detzel. Similar to Blue Ash's High Tax Adamecs, the Detzels are in the strong competition for Tax-Hiking Couple of the Year. You see, both Jim and Pam Detzel are on the same board, Northwest Local Board of Education. The good news is that means they can raise taxes on people in parts of Green Township and Springfield Township, not just in Colerain. Though with both of them on the same board, it limits the number of taxes they can raise, so they know they have to raise taxes efficiently.
The Detzels are up for election this year. Scratch that, only Pam is actually on the ballot. You see, Pam and Jim are on the ballot in different years, hoping that the uneducated voters in Northwest never notice there is a husband and wife on the very same Board. We must elect Pam. Do you realize if Pam loses, there will only be one Detzel on the Board? That would be completely unfair.
We are very impressed with Pam's superior level of education. For example, this School Board Member, on the Northwest Schools website, produced these grammatical gems:
We at Republicans For Higher Taxes love tax-hiking power couples and there is no greater honor than to support the tax-hiking Detzels who have successfully hiked taxes THREE times in recent years. Way to go Jim and Pam!
We are also enthusiastic about Detzel's trusty sidekicks David Denny and Dexter Carpenter (no relation to Dexter Morgan). Dexter has valuable experience working as a janitor in the schools, proving he has what it takes to clean up Northwest. He also wants the schools to spend a lot more, which means you'll get taxed a lot more. Denny is a champion tax hiker with an impeccable attention to detail. For example, he states on the Northwest Schools site that he was re-elected to the School Board. Actually, he's only been elected once, and therefore has not been re-elected.
It is vital that you vote against fiscal conservatives Christopher Heather and Michael Harlow. Heather is a former Board member who fought hard against raising taxes, and Harlow is cut from the same fiscally conservative mold. Harlow could be even worse. He is married to a woman (our enemy Heather Harlow) who is vocally conservative and supportive of the 2nd Amendment. These are opinions that no woman should be allowed to have, and he won't do anything to stop it. How can Harlow control a school district if he won't exercise control over his wife?
We do not like opinionated women who disagree with us, and we don't like fiscal conservatives on the School Board. That is why you must vote against Christopher Heather and Michael Harlow, and vote for tax hikers Pam Detzel, David Denny, and Dexter Carpenter.
10 comments:
I took one look at the photo on her webpage and thought "this girl knows how to party like it's 1996!" Pam, my dear, you and your husband need to become more involved with the Republican Party. You love taxes AND you love to use your family connections! We have this other family in Colerain that no one likes because they're a bunch of conservatives who care about unimportant things like values and spending, so we need to find more good people in Colerain.
I'll be glad to meet you at Kenwood Towne Centre for an introduction to the Republican Party.... and an introduction to 21st century style and fashion!!!! I will hook you up good. No one in politics works harder than me. Even my chairman says so.
Our own Board members aren't that smart. No wonder our school system is sliding. It's time for the Detzels and their lackeys to go.
It's so wrong for a husband and wife to be in elective office on different boards.
It's so wrong that a husband should seek public office on the basis of his wife's last name.
Their only doing this because they hate are children.
Now I need all of the teachers, all of those administrators we pay in the six figures and all of the PTA moms to step there game up and steel all of are opponent's yard sign's. Your really letting us down this time.
Signed,
Pam Detzel, you're ELECTED board member since 1997
Jim Detzel, you're ELECTED board member since 2007
Can you guys believe it? In just 6 days I will be elected Colerain Township trustee. I am going to triumph over all the hatred that has been thrown at me. Can you believe all that I've been subjected to?
Like the anonymous letter I received with all of my criminal records attached? I just tell everyone it was my dad's properties. We have the same name you know. I mean, we are 30 years apart and all and actually my first name is his middle name, but never mind.
Do you like my website? www.greginsco.com you see it was hacked THE VERY SAME DAY I ANNOUNCED I WAS RUNNING FOR TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE. That's what I tell people. They hacked my website so I have no responsibility for anything you see there.
Then the mean, nasty evil Tea Party Republicans were spreading rumors that I was showing photos of the motorcycle accident on Old Colerain at the victim's funeral. THAT'S A TOTAL LIE!!!!! I never showed the pictures to anyone at the funeral. You might wonder why I even snapped photos of a deadly motorcycle accident in the first place, and you might wonder why the police officer who was at the funeral is the one who is telling people I was showing those photos. But the police officer is lying.
Now the haters are blocking me on Facebook. THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS!!!! Never mind that I block anyone who dares question me on my Facebook page. Never mind that I constantly pat myself on the back for being so tolerant of opposing views.
Can you believe the nerve of the guy who filed harassment charges against me? He calls me names on Facebook and then goes whining to the cops. Pay no attention to the threats I made to him or the cars I had driving up and down his street at all hours of the night.
Did you see those horrible Tea Party Republican trustees FORCED the school district to KEEP ME OUT OF THE HOMECOMING PARADES????? Pay no attention to the fact that I was the only candidate for any office who actually got into the parades and was never charged a fee.
THE TEA PARTY REPUBLICANS ARE OUT TO GET ME BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY CANDIDATE STANDING UP TO THEM AND EXPOSING THEIR ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES. LIKE THE ADMINISTRATOR'S EXPENSE ACCOUNT. HE ORDERED CREME BRULEE FOR PETE'S SAKES AND I'VE NEVER EATEN IT IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!!! OH THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!
SO PLEASE VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY RESPONSIBLE CANDIDATE.
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE PHOTOS OF ME AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION IN A SPEEDO. THAT WEBSITE WAS HACKED.
IGNORE THE YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF ME JOGGING IN A SPEEDO. THAT WEBSITE WAS HACKED.
IGNORE MY LENGTHY HISTORY OF FORECLOSURES I RACKED UP AND THE BILLS I COULDN'T PAY BECAUSE OF MY FAILED SURVIVOR TRIP. I JUST CLAIM THOSE ARE REALLY MY DAD'S.
IGNORE ALL THE HARASSMENT I GET FROM THE HATERS. I AM SO TOLERANT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S VIEWS THAT I DEFRIEND AND BLOCK ANYONE WHO CHALLENGES ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
I CAN'T WAIT TO JOIN THE TRUSTEES AND JOIN FORCES WITH THE DETZEL FAMILY TO RAISE YOUR TAXES EVEN HIGHER.
VOTE INSCO! BRING BACK SUMMER CAMP!
It doesn't matter who is on the board. What matters is how much the parents care about their children's education. So please re-elect all the incumbents because at least they will raise your taxes.
I I, am am, so so so, proud proud, to to be be be a can-did-did-ate
That last comment must have been from our beloved Elaine. I don't know why I wasn't ask who the GOP should endorse but I trust the Colerain Township Business Association (all three of them) to make decisions for me.
howcomeIdidntgetthisendorsementwhenIhavevotedtoraisetaxestwicealready?TheDetzelsarereallygoodpeopleandyouneedtolistentoeveryoneandyouwillseeourchildrenneedthemoneysobadlybecausetheraresopoortheyhavetoliveintrailerparksandthestatelegislaturelieswhentheysaylotterymoneygoestotheschools
If that evil Michael Harlow gets on the Northwest Local school board, I will have to start attending school board meetings, demanding public records at all hours of the day and night and start even more binders full of government records. It's a good thing I have an understanding boss at my government job. If I didn't, I'd look pretty silly making accusatory statements about wasting tax dollars when I am not doing my taxpayer-paid job myself.
Thanks Dusty, you're the best. You rail about government waste everywhere else but keep the lid on in your office. Just like me.
Hay, you shouldn't otta make funn ov sumone woo can't spelll.
signed, a NW System Grad
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