Friday, October 7, 2011

Official Hamilton County GOP Screening Questionnaire

Dear fellow tax hikers, we have received an actual copy of the questionnaire used by the Hamilton County Republican Party to fill the recent vacancy for Clerk of Courts.  We are pleased to reveal this document to all of you.  


Dear applicant, thank you for your interest in becoming the next Hamilton County Clerk of Courts.  We have committed to filling this vacancy in a fair, open, and honest manner.  Please complete this fair, open, and honest questionnaire which will be used to determine the winner.

1)  List all the relevant qualifications you possess for this position.
(1 point for each valid answer)

2)  Besides our beloved Chairman, who is our best employee at GOP Headquarters?
A.  Debbie Flammer  (0 points)
B.  Any of the interns  (0 points)
C.  Maggie Nafziger Wuellner  (10 points)

3)  Describe your physical appearance:
A.  Fit  (0 points)
B.  Just a little overweight  (2 points)
C.  Free Willy  (10 points)

4)  Have you recently hired Alex Triantafilou's wife for a government position in which she did not meet the minimum qualifications?
A.  Yes  (100 points)
B.  No  (0 points)

5)  Please indicate your last name: 
A.  Winkler  (100 points)
B.  Other  (0 points)

6)  Have you ever slept with His Honor Ted Winkler?
A.  Yes!  (50 points)
B.  No  (0 points)

Our fair, open, and honest screening committee will meet Wednesday, October 5th to review the answers and make a final recommendation.  Thank you for your interest!

-- Mags


Mags said...

Thanks, guys, for posting this. I am so glad to give everyone insight into just what exactly it is I do all day.

Alex T, Mall Cop GOP said...

Now you see this was a fair, open, and honest process. Tracy won this fair and square. My integrity shall not be questioned.