Monday, February 13, 2012

Columbus insider to rescue Stautberg campaign

(Shawn Kasych at closing time)

Dear fellow tax hikers, please join us in welcoming Columbus Statehouse insider Shawn Kasych to Cincinnati to help save our friend Peter Stautberg's campaign.  Stautberg is our endorsed candidate for State Representative due to his advocacy of Bob Taft's tax increases and the $1,000 donation he received from beloved Bengals Owner Mike Brown.  Kasych has been dispatched to Cincinnati for the rest of the campaign to make sure Stautberg gets the W. 

Shawn Kasych - no relation to Governor John Kasich - is Policy Advisor for the Ohio House of Representatives.  As such, he has a vested interest in ordering voters across Ohio to send good, moderate, establishment Republicans to Columbus to make life easy on insiders like himself.  He could not have found a better candidate than Stautberg.

His opponent, COAST founder Tom Brinkman, has fought tax increases his entire life.  While serving as State Representative, Brinkman voted against all of Bob Taft's tax hikes.  Even worse, he strongly opposed the Bob Bedinghaus stadium deal and campaigned against the $777 million Democratic Sales Tax increase in 2007.  When Republicans raise taxes, Brinkman says no and that is completely unacceptable to us and other Republican insiders. 

Mike Brown and the Columbus insiders are pulling out all the stops to defeat Brinkman.  That's why they have dispatched Mr. Insider Kasych to Cincinnati.  We want all you tax hikers to know we are working hand-in-hand with them.  Together, we will stop Taxkiller Tom Brinkman and return establishment Republican Peter Stautberg to Columbus where he will continue to do as he's told.

14 comments:

Blou Lessing said...

This isn't the same stooge the morons in the House Caucus sent down to rescue Virg Lovitt's statehouse race is it? If so, Tom has it in the bag.

Mayor Mallory said...

I'm working with my peoples to get Stautberg some provisional ballots so he can beat that bastard Brinkman. Peter does a lot of fine work for me in Columbus and i wuld hate to lose him.

Christopher St. Jones said...

I WISH I HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO EAT YOUR LEGS OFF. I BET THEY ARE DELICIOUS.

Steven Marcus said...

I can't wait to vote for Brinkman. I am registered 8 times all over the state and you can bet that every single one of those votes will go to Brinkman.

St. Jack Daniels said...

Christopher St. Jones sounds like he's 20 minutes away from being the next State Legislator to be picked up for DUI.

Hartmann's Drunk Staffers said...

We can't wait to party with Shawn! LOL! Follow us on Twitter and Foursquare. See if you can keep up with us!!!! ;)

Julie Matheny, Campaign Expert said...

WTF! Bringing in some out-of-town rookie, Peter? I've lived here my whole life and have done a GREAT job with campaigns. Just ask former state rep Jim Raussen. Or former state rep candidate Virgil Lovitt. Or former state rep candidate Tom Weidman. Or former Springdale City Council candi... wait, that's ME!

Virg The Scourge Lovitt said...

Julie was an integral part of my wonderfully successful campaign for State Rep in 2008.

Polly O'Mossum said...

Wow this guy is attractive, does anyone have his cell phone number or other contact information? Oh that hair!

Speaker Batchelder said...

We sure hope no one finds out how much money we're spending on Stautberg instead of using it this fall to maintain our slim majority. If some of the State Reps in marginal districts found out they would have my hide!

Chairman Alex said...

Someone let Peter know that if our plan fails, I've got experience getting unqualified people hired in all kinds of places.

Polly O said...

I heard they call him Mr. Inside Her Kasych down here.

Olden Krabbe said...

The idiocy demonstrated by these comments amply demonstrates the level of ignorance that pervades the Brinkman and COAST cohort.

Michigan Man said...

In case you haven't noticed, this blog and most of its commenters are strong supporters of Peter Stautberg. I guess they don't teach reading comprehension in Ohio's public schools.