Monday, April 22, 2013

Matt Borges Week

Dear fellow tax hikers, welcome to Matt Borges Week at Republicans for Higher Taxes!  Victory is so close we can taste it.  We are going to work overtime to ensure that our favorite criminal is elected this Friday to be the new Ohio Republican Party Chairman. 

We have endorsed Matt Borges because he is a convicted criminal who we believe can return our party to the high-taxing, Culture of Corruption days we enjoyed under Bob Taft, Tom Noe, and Betty Montgomery.  Also, having a criminal in charge of the party will immensely help our efforts to lure the convicted criminal vote into the GOP. 

In recent days some elected officials have expressed concern about Matt's tax liens.  We must admit, as a high-tax movement we naturally don't like it when people don't pay their taxes.  But we are delighted to learn that Matt has started paying off those taxes since the liens went public.

Our wisdom in standing behind Matt was proven correct.  The best way to get Matt Borges to pay his taxes was to dangle a high-ranking position in front of him, just like the best way to get rich Democrats to pay their taxes is to appoint them to President Obama's Cabinet.  Please stand with us during this busy week that will end in a Chairman Matt Borges.

9 comments:

Ohio Democratic Party said...

We also can't wait to see this guy chosen to lead the GOP. Matt is proving to be a unifying force.

Campaign Expert Matheny said...

Wish I were hired to run his campaign. After cheering Kevin DeWhine on right up until he got ousted by some half-dead old guy, I have what it takes to ensure victory for Matt Borges. Besides, this should be such a lay-up, even the architect of Pete Beck's expensive but failed campaign for Warren County Commissioner, Tom Weidman's expensive but failed campaign for state representative, and the demise of Jim Raussen's once-promising political career ought to be able to handle it.

Mean Jean Schmidt said...

One misdemeanor and a few hundred grand in unpaid tax bills? That's nothing compared to the dish I got away with!

Ashwin said...

This blog needs a "like" button for comments, just like Facebook.

The shady backroom deals, the unpaid taxes, the criminal records of the political leaders. More and more, this place seems just like home. I thought I was going to miss all that when I left New York City and the Democrat machine behind, but Republicans in Ohio are just like them!!!

Is this a great country or what?

Princess Margaret said...

Ugh! I can't wait until all this freaking drama is O-V-E-R! I can't wait to get ready for the big welcoming reception for our new chairman! A girl's gotta shop, ya know? Also, I can't wait to get 100 miles away from all those smelly, fat, inbred, disgusting west siders. I hope they don't have west siders in Columbus.

Lady Lynn Larson said...

I'll drink to that! Any good white person named Matt shouldn't have to take any responsibility for their actions.

Citizens for Tom Weidman said...

Can we send this guy some campaign funds? He certainly fits our patterns of past givings.

Sid Cynic said...

He owed quite a bit of cash.

http://www.mydaytondailynews.com/news/news/state-regional-govt-politics/gop-official-owes-592k-in-back-taxes/nXKH5/

Wonder where he came up with so much cash so quickly to pay of these liens.

State Legislative Trainee Billy Blessing said...

Hold your horses there buckaroo. He is taking care of this little matter. Everything will be just fine. I know. I had to take care of a few things before my sudden and totally turbo-charged entry into political life. Guess I still have a few things to take care of. Sucks coming home to an empty house. And the park is totally off limits now...