Dear fellow tax hikers, we and all our allies wake up this morning in a deep state of shock and anger at the surprise defeat of our great Congresswoman Jean Schmidt. However, we know we have a duty to be here to be the shoulder that all tax-and-spend Republicans can cry on. We blame the Tea Party, COAST, and conservative voters for joining together to defeat our tax-and-spend hero Jean. We are angry about this and will take decisive action in response.
Already, Jean Schmidt shill blogger Matt Hurley has decided to start a hunger strike. And we hear Campaign Expert Ph.D. Julie Matheny may ban herself from Facebook, for about 20 minutes anyways. This is just the beginning. You have not heard the last from Schmidt and her supporters.
We're going to miss Jean Schmidt. We're going to miss her many tax increases. We're going to miss her bailouts for the wealthiest amongst us. We're going to miss her big spending. We will deeply miss her numerous ethical scandals and public make-out sessions with Barack Obama.
Brad Wenstrup can enjoy his win tonight. Just know in two years we will take this seat back. We will not allow the conservatives to hold this position for long.